Tactile Friends

Former Member

This isn't really a problem but I'm just more curious to see if anyone else has a particularly tactile relationship with their friends or had any issues with it. One of my groups of friends is very close (most people have snogged each other at some point even if just as a joke) and has always been very very huggy. Especially amongst my closest friends I would think nothing of kissing them hello on the lips, walking down the street holding hands or falling asleep on them on the train on the way home.

Its always been like that and it isn't an issue for my husband (though he is less excited if the boys try and kiss him), i was talking to my friend at the weekend and we suddenly realized that maybe not everyone does this and that sometimes people can take it the wrong way.........

Former Member

Hmm well we're not quite as close as that but dont mind a quick peck, holding hands, cuddling etc. With another group of friends we're fine walking around in our underwear when getting changed etc, but never done any snogging or anything else sexual together

Former Member

I have been hugged and kissed by friends. It means nothing to me in that way. I think nothing of being hugged or kissed by them either. I think for some people, it does seem to be a normal way of greeting each other.

(though he is less excited if the boys try and kiss him)

I was out with a friend and his wife (who I don't know) and one of his male friends asked him for a kiss. To which the friend "I don't kiss men".

Former Member

I guess in some instances it goes a bit beyond a normal hello hug though and can sometimes boarder on what most people outside the group would consider flirting - but not in an actual i fancy you way but i can see it can annoy people who have just started going out with people in the group (till they inevitably get drawn in on it).

Former Member

If its acceptable amongst your group then its acceptable amongst your group. There might well indeed be people that may take issue with it, but then again I could almost guarantee that I could find someone somewhere in the world that would disagree with anything.

Stick with it to be honest.

Former Member

I have toucy feely friends.

Former Member

At the moment I don't have any friends I kiss on the lips (but it is very common to kiss people on both cheeks, even if you just got to know them), but I don't think much of it. It varies from person to person tho. While I had friends, which whose girlfriends I was close and would give a peck on the lips when meeting or parting ways who thought nothing of it, some were not that super happy with it and asked to "downgrade" on cheek kisses.

Holding hands, I dunno. While it seems to be less socially "invasive" (if this makes sense. If not I will elaborate), than a kiss I think it is kinda pointless. I might hold someones hand if she is cold in winter, but other than that I find it - like I said - pointless and I would just convey the picture that I am together with that person. (Might apply for kisses too, but I dunno, guess it's habit).

I think nothing about leaning on other people to sleep on a long trainride.

I am not always overly tactile, but it is good to know that nobody is going to be offended if I give a long tight hug, or snuggle up with a girl-friend on the couch while watching a movie. I have on occasion asked girl friends for a good night kiss when going to sleep (when staying somewhere in a hostel or if one person crashes at the others place), which goes on the lips even tho i have never kissed that person before, nor will ever do it again.

At the end of the day, you should always do as much as you are comfortable with and not alienate or ostracize someone because he does not want to adopt your habits. Exactly that should be expected from others too. So that there will be never a problem.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

At the end of the day, you should always do as much as you are comfortable with and not alienate or ostracize someone because he does not want to adopt your habits. Exactly that should be expected from others too. So that there will be never a problem.

I agree. I have friends who are happy to hug and kiss each other; but know people who don't like it.

Hmm well we're not quite as close as that but dont mind a quick peck, holding hands, cuddling etc.

I'm the same. I will happily hug (apart from when a gig had finished and one was stinking of sweat :yuck: ) my friends

Former Member

Hi there Wyetry,

Interesting to see all the different answers and views on this!

I think what is important to remember is to adapt to people. If your friends are happy to hug and kiss and be friendly then you know you are able to do this. With other people you meet and perhaps don't know too well, you can slowly get to know what they are like and they can see what you are like too!

Former Member

I don't hug or kiss friends, save for a couple of girls who always hug people they get on with upon meeting. Otherwise a hearty slap on the back when I'm drunk is all you're liable to get from me - unless your female, pretty, and clearly panting for it.