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Ask him out or not?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, some quick advice needed people!

Guy at work - I like him - I want to ask him out - I'm scared he'll say no and then work will be really weird - how will I face him? We don't work in the same office but we would have to see each other every morning and potentially pass each other during the day.

What should I do??

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you had any signs that he also likes you? Are you both single?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Both single. Have had a few flirty conversations and one majorly flirty text conversation! One of my male co-workers was trying to sound him out subtly and doesn't think (through male intuition) that he's looking for a relationship. But how would I know if I never asked?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you are both grown ups it wouldn't be weird if he said no.....and even if it was, you don't work in the same office.

    Go for it, i'm sure he'll be thrilled
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Never Know

    Ok if you guys have had a few conversations and he's giving signs go for it ask him out! If you've had a few conversations nothing to serious or long try talking with him a few more times and drop hints here and there things should work out fine! if he does say no just carry on and try moving on and forgeting about him it'll be fine i'm sure of it. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just play things cool and see what happens. You'll get an idea of what he wants if you say you want to go for a drink or three with him, you'll know far more then whether he wants something serious or whether he just wants in your knickers.

    I remember from your last post that he's over ten years older than you are, that could be influencing your co-worker's opinion. Most men are suspicious of men who date women who are significantly younger than they are, because we expect that a lot of men are just doing it to have the thrill and kudos of bagging a young girl. It doesn't mean our suspicions are founded, though, and quite often they're not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, I really just need to work up the courage to do it, but I feel as though I've dropped sooo many hints that if he was interested he would have done something about it. And I don't want to ask to be rejected because I would be really embarrassed. And yes, he's quite a bit older than me but fairly young at heart - i.e. has a lot of younger friends both male and female.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, I really just need to work up the courage to do it, but I feel as though I've dropped sooo many hints that if he was interested he would have done something about it. And I don't want to ask to be rejected because I would be really embarrassed. And yes, he's quite a bit older than me but fairly young at heart - i.e. has a lot of younger friends both male and female.

    Why don't you email him and see if he responds? Just to say hello or whatever.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Same

    Hey, I was in the same context you're in. Same dilemma. Girl my age. I've had lots of long conversations ... lots of flirty ones too. I dropped hints and mistook some signals as hints to ask her out. :d :love: :d
    I now work so embarrassed because we see each other more regularly than you and your man. We travel together, work together for quite a lot of time and now i just look at her and think "if only...". We're no longer as close friends and rarely talk to each other too.:crying: :no: :crying: :no:
    If you haven't already make sure you ask him. Mine said "We can't go out because we are too close friends" and thats all she saw me as. Maybe if i'd asked her earlier this wouldn't have happened. :(:(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the advice. I think I'm going to text him and just say I like him and see what he says.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So, what should I put in this text? I have such low self esteem that I want to write something like "I like you, but it's totally ok if you don't like me, just be honest if you don't, it's cool..." and yet that probably isn't the best! Any ideas??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't say you like him, that's a bit too full on. Joke a bit, flirt a bit, arrange to meet up just you two together. Alone. The last bit should give him the hint!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't say you like him, that's a bit too full on. Joke a bit, flirt a bit, arrange to meet up just you two together. Alone. The last bit should give him the hint!


    We do joke and flirt via text message but I'm just not sure about how to tack on the bit about going out for drink. Stupid I know, cause it really is very simple! I just worry that I'm deluding myself into thinking that he could be interested in me and the more I think about it the more I convince myself that he isn't. But maybe the fear about asking him out is not so much the fear that he rejects me, but more the fear that once I know for sure that he doesn't want me, then the hope and the fantasy is gone and maybe I enjoy that more. I don't even know if that makes sense!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it does make sense, it is nerve-wracking to ask someone out and sometimes it's more scary for them to say yes than to say no. But there's only one way of finding out.

    If you ask for a drink or a coffee out, you're not opening yourself too much even if he's not interested. How about arranging to go for a coffee on your lunch hour one day?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    If you ask for a drink or a coffee out, you're not opening yourself too much even if he's not interested. How about arranging to go for a coffee on your lunch hour one day?

    :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you ask for a drink or a coffee out, you're not opening yourself too much even if he's not interested. How about arranging to go for a coffee on your lunch hour one day?

    That's the sensible approach.

    I think you should ask him if he fancies a drink after work, get drunk and then make a grab for his willy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should ask him if he fancies a drink after work, get drunk and then make a grab for his willy.

    I think you should ask him if he fancies a drink after work, get him drunk and then make a grab for his willy.

    :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should ask him if he fancies a drink after work, get him drunk and then make a grab for his willy.

    :yes:

    Between us we're forming a completely credible and virtually foolproof plan! :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should ask him if he fancies a drink after work, get him drunk and then make a grab for his willy.

    :yes:

    Surely both of them getting drunk would be better?:p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ha ha, loving the advice guys! I'm in the middle of texting him just now. Waiting to see if he's playing footie this Friday and if not....I reckon I'll see if he wants to get a drink....I am shitting myself mind you!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just do it !

    I think a man rarely says no to a woman unless he has a good reason. In my personal opinion, i have to say it feels very nice to see some signs from a woman, but it he is a person who doesn't get these signs often, he might get a bit cocky about it and act like an idiot. I think if you are above average in looks and a nice person to hang out with, i would say go for it.(also wear a nice perfume-not a slutty one-. Those oils you women use can do magic :P ) And if it gets weird its ok really, it will stop being weird after some time. Just do whatever you want to do,adults have this advantage:) After all how will you ever find out? :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bazer wrote: »
    (also wear a nice perfume-not a slutty one-. Those oils you women use can do magic :P ) A

    What does a slutty perfume smell like compared to a nice one?! Can you name any brands? Just so we all know what to go for/avoid! :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol, not too good. Turned me down that time, though think I wasn't that obvious about why I was asking. Tried again and then heard from a friend that I'm not his type. So, moving on!!
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