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The Franki is a Giganto Idiot thread.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
As per title. I don't fancy explaining everything right now, but let's just say I'm really not in a good place and I can't for the life of me work out why.

Blargh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    D: Franki! What's up?

    Was it that damn big box's fault?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A_Monkey wrote: »
    D: Franki! What's up?

    Was it that damn big box's fault?
    Absolutely.

    No... Read the 'I need a hug' thread and stuff.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :c Hope you feel better soon.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He isn't a douchebag. He sometimes says things which piss me off and upset me, but so do most people.

    I don't want pity. I was happy using the other thread but it was suggested that I make one of my own so as not to derail it, so I have done that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you probably do know what's wrong, but the thought of what's wrong is too painful for you to think about. So instead of thinking about it you distract yourself- you have plenty of casual sex, you treat sex as a measure of your worth as a human being, you love the thrill of several boys all fighting over you. You want people to congratulate you on having the most attractive boyfriend and having the most boys chasing after you and you want everyone to know how great in bed you are and all the daring things you do.

    You feel out of control so you try and control little bits of your life, like how often you eat, how often you bring your food back and how much time you spend at the gym.

    I think you know exactly what your feelings are and what you're frightened of.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why is a big question. Probably one that's best to not try and answer in one go.

    You've got the right ideas looking at sources of support. Google might not be finding them for you, but like Arctic said, that's possibly because they're not advertised rather than not out there. Talk to the nurse tomorrow (or whenever it is) as a starting point when you go for your pill check.

    And well done for looking for help, and starting your own thread, and ignore what Strubbles said.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    frankipanda wrote: »
    He isn't a douchebag. He sometimes says things which piss me off and upset me, but so do most people.

    I don't want pity. I was happy using the other thread but it was suggested that I make one of my own so as not to derail it, so I have done that.

    Glad you have, please don't let rudeness put you off (have deleted the post that was so critical because that kind of attitude is not welcome here.)

    *hug*
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    *hug* Love you Franki xxxxx *hug* *hug* *hug* x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *massive hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You get more hugs in your own thread than you do in the hug thread. How's that for encouragement!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ha! Yes, encouragement indeed :).

    I had a really good RAWRRRRRRR at the gym last night (helped having the distraction of someone to talk to while I was running, actually, since the girl that did my induction was there and the gym was dead) and after my lunch refused to come up straight away, I didn't do what I usually do and try and get it up again later. That's good, right?

    It was nothing to do with the tap exploding in the toilets. Nuh uh. Not even slightly...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Definitely good. Very good.

    Whatever the reason, it's still good and having not done it yesterday, it will make it easier to not to do it today.

    And being good will make running in the gym more fun too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel completely unimportant right now and I don't like it very much and I would like to go crawl into a hole and cry for a bit.
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    This sites always argumentative, course you know that :D
    Thats why people are more careful here than most sites x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For when you need the reminder.
    Franki wrote:

    Several things have pleased me today:

    1. I made myself a budget. An actual, proper, awesome, enough-so-that-I-have-at-least-£1k-saved-for-uni budget for the next six months.
    2. I went to the nurse and I asked about things that I needed to ask her about.
    3. I made two necessary phone calls. One was to rage at people. I was FINE .
    4. I got my referrals through for CBT and for my wrist.
    5. I am getting an implant \o/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you :heart:

    I'm going to try and be a good girl today. Yes, yes I am.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel about this big and I am just waiting for, 'I'm sorry, we can't be friends any more, I just can't deal with you'.

    It always happens. It's going to happen again. I was looking forward to weekend so much and now everything is fucked because I'm fucked and stupid and a total fucking twat.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was really good this weekend. Only one time! But I am kind of permanently exhausted and everything aches. Everything. No me gusta :(
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    frankipanda wrote: »
    I feel about this big and I am just waiting for, 'I'm sorry, we can't be friends any more, I just can't deal with you'.

    It always happens. It's going to happen again. I was looking forward to weekend so much and now everything is fucked because I'm fucked and stupid and a total fucking twat.
    *hug* How are you feeling today? x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww, poor you *hug* I hope you are feeling slightly better today x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am so tired. Physically, mentally, everything. Exhausted. My brain is just a mess of cotton wool and fuzz fuzz fuzz. I desperately want to go to sleep for several days and ignore everyone and everything. I've been pretty good this week, but the insides of my legs (like, where they join my crotch) ache. Not even a proper ache, a really odd and horrible ache that makes walking and moving them feel really odd and uncomfortable more than painful so much. I don't even know why that is but it's horrid.

    Also for some reason this morning I thought it might be a good idea if I gave up smoking. I am still debating this, but since my cigarettes are now more than £6 a pack (fuck you, government), it's quite the expense these days. Blah :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My body has decided now that every time I eat it's going to make me feel physically nauseous, whether I was thinking about throwing it up or not. Thanks body.

    Also I saw the nice doctor man today, he said that he's going to give the doubled dose of my ADs another few weeks to work and then for me to come back and see him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bonus on seeing the nice doctor man and him being vaguely useful.

    Less good on the nausea thing. Does small portions more often help?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No :(. Most of the time I can fight it, but sometimes it's so bad that I know the only way to feel better is to stop fighting it and just do it.

    Dislike :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can you take some anti sickness medication?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm maybe. I'll see what I can get from Tesco on Thursday when I go to get my implant put in :/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You get your implant put in at Tesco?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No dear :p.

    I get my implant put in at the doctor's surgery, which is next to a big ol' Tesco.

    Duh :p.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol
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