Social situations - not knowing anyone

Former Member

The week before last, a friend asked me if I was going to his birthday and I said no. (I vaguely remember reading something about it on Facebook)

Last week, I said that I may be able to come. He then said he wasn't too sure if that was a good idea. He then went on to say that because it's an open event, he can't stop me turning up.

Aside from him, I know no-one who is going. (I know a few of his friends - with the exception of 2, I've maybe only spoken to the others once or twice. So, I know them; but I wouldn't actually class them as friends)

I am not one of these who can just go up to people and make conversations with people I don't know. He is aware of how quiet and shy I am. (He also knows I don't shut up up once I start talking )

Any tips on how to deal with this would be appreciated, thanks.

Former Member

If you're keen to go, and make the effort to be sociable talking to people you don't know, then by all means go.

But if you feel you'd need your friend to be the main person you spend time with for the evening then maybe don't go. I'd guess his reasoning for saying maybe don't go is that he doens't have time to 'look after you' that evening so maybe celebrating at a different time might be better.

Former Member

go, get over yourself and let him introduce you to other people and talk to them. That's all. Everyone who doesn't want to die alone would do it, I suppose.

Former Member

Take a friend?

Former Member

i wouldnt want to go to somebodys birthday who has said 'they cant stop you from turning up' thats not exactly welcoming is it?!

Former Member

FireyFirenze wrote: »

i wouldnt want to go to somebodys birthday who has said 'they cant stop you from turning up' thats not exactly welcoming is it?!

That's what I thought

Former Member

You "might be able to come" but "it might not be a good idea". "I can't stop you turning up". Why is a supposed friend saying these things?

It's setting alarm bells ringing in my head, that's for damn certain.

Former Member

I'm not going to go into detail what happened (because it's long and complicated) but we spent an awful lot of last year having major issues. That might be why I think he said he wasn't sure.

Former Member

if i wanted my friend to come out for my birthday i would be all like 'pleeeease!' and i would make sure that there was somebody there who i knew would be friendly to them. for example its my birthday in a couple of weeks and my friend will be coming who doesnt really know any of my other friends but i know my other friends will all be really welcoming and lovely to her, so im not worried.

Former Member

The reason why he didn't do that was because "Although I have not sent a personal invitation to everyone on my friends list, you are all welcome to come. Some of you are a bit far away and some I did not think would be interested."

I do live quite far away - but it's not that bad of a journey to make.

Former Member

Its not the most welcoming invite but I think its something you should trust your instincts on.