sex still hurts

Former Member

me and my boyfriend are thinking to go to a brook clinic this week to discuss things and hopefully they can help us- weird thing is first time we had sex his cock managed to stay in me for quite a while and it was a pleasurable time, but just recently it still hurts when his cock or fingers go in me and he can't stay in me for long.. please help cos we wanna have enjoyable sex! please reply to Mr Chad Savoloy's post as well please cos hes my boyfriend.

Hoping you can help.

Former Member

How many times have you done it MBF? It can take a few times to start to feel comfortable. There are some links here which may be worth a read, particularly the third one. it may be that you are not relaxed enough when he penetrates you, or you simply aren't aroused enough. in turn it then hurts and now you are anticipated pain before you start so then you aren't relaxed so then it hurts etc etc round and round. Maybe take a step back from penetration and concentrate on your arousal?

http://honeymoons.about.com/od/virginity/

http://www.sogc.org/health/health-vaginismus_e.asp

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/from_ow_to_wow_demystifying_painful_intercourse

Former Member

done it bout 3 times but didn't last a long time! yeah sometimes i do anticipate pain before hand cos i now know what the others times have been like and i feel it wont go away and be enjoyable, will look at the links thanks guess should spend quite a long time on foreplay and see, also got aloe vera lube as well .. apparently you tighten up if you dont have sex for a while?

Former Member

lube shouldnt be a substitue for good quality, arousing foreplay. 3 times isnt that many times really, it took quite a few times (5-7) for me to get used it and for it to be really enjoyable. read the links and just relax about it all, don't put pressure on yourselves to go for the penetration, it's not the be all and end all - more important that you know each others bodies well and turn each other on.

Former Member

i hope i dont have that vaginismus thing thats all i need!

Former Member

do you find your clit cant be touched directly either? lube may aid the process a bit though, u think body paint is a good idea?

Former Member

i'm sure you don't but it is always good to be aware of stuff if this is still an issue in 20 or 30 shags time -which i suspect it won't be at all. I honestly think that all you need to do is take some of the pressure off the penetration and work on knowing each others bodies and turn ons better.

Former Member

marcbolanfan wrote: »

do you find your clit cant be touched directly either? lube may aid the process a bit though, u think body paint is a good idea?

no, most women find it too sensitive, thats why there is a hood on it.

Former Member

Use lots of lube and lots of foreplay and make sure you're relaxed before trying any penetration - if that doesn't work, then you've got problems.

Former Member

marcbolanfan wrote: »

i hope i dont have that vaginismus thing thats all i need!

You would know if you had vaginismus. Trust me.

Former Member

thats good bout the clit thing im normal then..so basically to stroke the top of the clit and not open it? probably need to spend more time on foreplay this time and see if it helps- the cherry lube stung me but aloe vera one now is much better..yeah i need to be very relaxed, probably take a while,

Former Member

even just saying open it made me wince! it would be a good idea if you started exploring what feels good for you with your own body, then you can show chad how you like to be touched. Try not to get too dependent on lube , try and find things that increase your natural lubrication as this will help you identify when you are aroused - artifical lube is good but its better if he works on turning you on, and masterbation is a part of your own sexual development.

Former Member

haha sorry.. just trying to get an idea on where i should be touched.. i find further down from the clit is much nicer.. i will give the lube a try this time and see if it helps.. how old are you? you seem pretty experienced! annoying guys get turned on quicker than women.. the body paint can be fun also so i'll bring that also!

Former Member

just best to keep experimenting both together and alone - learning what feels nice/enjoyable for you both.

Former Member

nobody else sensing troll?

Former Member

thanks for your help i went to a brook clinic with chad yesterday and explained my problem and they just said similar to what you did summer raindrops, to use plenty of lube and alot of foreplay beforehand and i think FINALLY he got through my hyman last night cos we did the missionary position he was on top and i bled for the first time, only hurt a tiny bit when he first went in me cos we did plenty of foreplay, he licked me out a few times, and fingered me and that got me used to fingers being in me before his cock and it felt nice, we also used lube on the condom, is it ok to keep doing that? that also probably aided the process, so was a much more pleasurable experience! how old are you summer?

Former Member

its fine to use lube on condoms as long as you check on the bottle that it is waterbased not oil based. oil can rot condoms and this includes baby oils and some massage oils, i'm assuming the durex lubes will have been manufactured with this in mind, but better to be safe than sorry and check on the bottle.

Former Member

ok will look on my bottle for aloe vera lube see if it says anything.. you think what i said in my last post is positive and things will look up for me now?

Former Member

yes i think its a good sign

Former Member

cheers so your pretty experienced then? wonder what other positions could be good for me to try.

Former Member

have a look at the links on Chad's thread, there is some info on positions or furthur links to that on there i think. there is also a book reccomendation that you may find useful.

Former Member

i will do thanx so much 4 your help.. if u have any ideas bout how to help me and chad out with our post in the "relationships" part i will be really grateful!

Former Member

did u mean the handbag site for sex positions? and whats the ride 'em cow girl' book about? that you have got.

Former Member

sexual confidence and tips. try googling sex positions if you can't find any on the links - loads of info will come up. you can also find sex guides and books on amazon, waterstones and play.com. Ann Summers also carries a range of manuals about sex.

Former Member

im quite petite so i tried googling ones good for a height difference that kinda thing and found crossed legged while im on his lap , spooning also sounds like a good one and i thought that might work .. you think its worth it to buy a book?

Former Member

you can never be too knowledgable on any subject, there is always more to learn, depends on you personally - i like to read and enhance my knowledge base continuously, the more you learn the more ignorant you realise you are. you may not be a reader so may not want to spend time learning through books, other ways to learn so it's up to u really.

Former Member

i do like to read actually, something that explains what the positions are and what u do and maybe other things in it too .. is your book good? true, there's probably alot i don't know

Former Member

The handbag site is www.handbag.com

Former Member

yup didnt find much on there to be honest

Former Member

http://www.sexinfo101.com/sexualpositions.shtml

a few to be getting on with.

Former Member

**Summer-Raindrops** wrote: »

http://www.sexinfo101.com/sexualpositions.shtml

a few to be getting on with.

thanks for the site, will check it out!