Is there one person you just can't get over?

Former Member

There is a guy I just can't ever completely get over. He was my best friend and the love of my life. We fell out a few years ago and have only recently been in contact again, brings all the memories flooding back.

He knows how I feel (I told him about a year ago) and made comments about not wanting to be with me at the moment as it would stop me from sorting my life out (my life is a tad complicated right now).

Then he turned round and said he doesn't ever want more than friendship but acts all weird if I mention other guys. He has a long-term gf now.

I go through phases of thinking I'm over it, it doesn't matter etc but everytime I see a picture of them together on facebook it actually kills me.

Does anyone else have these issues with an ex you split with ages ago or is it just me? Does it ever get easier? I'm having a bad day :crying:

Former Member

I do as well yea. My first boyfriend, first love, you know how it is. He messed me about for ages and turned me into an emotional wreck so i had to leave him. It was one of the most difficult things ive ever done but i dont regret it. The minute i cut him out of my life i felt better. I cried for what felt like forever and 2 years down the line i still do love him and think about him and cry like i did back then but, even though i have my bad days, i know im so much better off without him.

Thing to do is cut him out of your life completely! Delete all photos, delete his number, delete him off facebook so you're never tempted to call him. I was the same, one tiny glance at a photo and i was off but getting rid of everything to do with him really helped *hug*

Former Member

The thing is we didn't speak for 4 years and when he got back in touch I was really happy as he was my best friend before it turned into more. We just always had an amazing spark and always knew what each other was thinking.

I have really missed having him in my life even as a friend so I'm really reluctant to completely cut him out again as I know I would regret it like I did last time. Granted I wouldn't exactly call us "friends" right now, we were getting there until I messed it up be confessing my lingering feelings last year.

A part of me still thinks it could all work out, I don't know why. I guess I always will think that. It doesn't help that he hinted at the same thing and then changed his mind when his gf got serious.

I want to try and at least be best friends again but I don't know how to go about it after declaring I still loved him as it has made things awkward again. Whenever I contact him now I worry that he thinks I'm a stalker or something which is ridiculous as we have only had about 20 conversations in the last 10 months!

Do I risk him thinking I'm an absolute nutter and send him a message asking if we can give the friends thing another try? Or should I just invite him for a drink and see if he actually agrees to meet up? So confused

Former Member

I have that feeling for a guy too, whom I briefly went out with (lets call him Sam and it's complicated but I still have feelings for him, doubt it'll ever happen again though) so you definately aren't alone.

I think, if you are prepared that it won't be easy, having him as a friend could work, but only if deep down, you are happy that you will probably only be "just friends" as he has a gf now. If you think that the feelings may be too much, I wouldn't get back in contact with him at all. I wouldn't ask him out for a drink though, he may get the wrong idea and not come, or his gf may bet the wrong end of the stick.

I have found that, with Sam, if I am not in contact it gets easier, but as soonas I see facebook, or the odd occasion I get a text from him, the feelings come back and that's the hard bit.

Former Member

Oh yeah I wouldn't invite him out just me and him, I meant with a group of our friends who he is also friends with so it wouldn't be as weird. Although we have spoken since I said I loved him we haven't seen each other in person since so I think we need to meet up if we are ever going to be friends again. I guess I need to think this through some more before I do anything...

Former Member

Well he is refusing to meet up even in a group anyway......he gave a silly reason. Never mind, at least my questions have been answered by his response I guess.