Mothers Anger.

Former Member

Hi all...

Well, ive finally admitted to my mum my problems with self harm.
Her first reaction.. she didnt believe me. Then she gave me a sorta of one-armed hug. Then she walked off and carried on like nothing had happened. When i next saw her she pushed me into our kitchen, i almost tripped over, and screamed at me to SHOW , not tell, my stepdad what id been doing. He was shocked, but then gave me this massive hug and has been really supportive since. My mum has stayed angry, been saying im simply attention seeking - because they arent deep cuts. She didnt seem at all proud that id got myself help and havent cut in ovr a week (hence the cuts dont look very bad right now) and she seems to be distancing herself from me, even more than before.
Im dreading her reaction when my school tell her about my overdose attempt on wednesday next week. I know she will be angry i didnt tell her, but it felt too much and now im too scared to tell her anything else. But other than that i haven't a clue how she will react, and im kinda expecting the worst. Another thing im dreading is how she will treat these two teachers who have been helping me. This is because she came in from work yesterday and told me that "none of them actually give a shit about you" and i know she hates this one teacher who i first went to with my problems, simply because i can talk to her and not mum.
Thankfully, ive been told that i dont have to be in the room when they tell her, but the thing is im terrified to go home after they have told her that day.
Im so glad for the support and care im recieving from two of my teachers and im grateful they are trying to help me rebuild my relationship with my mum, but im not sure i want to anymore. I just want to learn how to deal with it until i can move out and get away.

Sorry for the rant.. x

Former Member

Can you request that your step dad is also in the meeting so that you have someone who can support you as its sounds like he is being really nice to you at the moment and giving you the sort of support you need.

Former Member

yeah i thought he was....
but today he blamed me for my mum storming out and said im tearing our family apart.

i want to get away from all of them

Former Member

TBH sounds like your mum has a lot to do with your issues. My brother and I suffered from this sort of psychological abuse as teenagers - and make no mistake, it is abuse. Please please tell your teachers about it - make them understand that telling her is not an answer to the problem. She is probably PART of the problem. Can your stepdad go in instead?

My mum made my brother and I feel guilty and worthless for so long my bro now has a long term mental illness. I know it's really hard since she's your mum, but if anyone outside the family shows they care, it's because they do. Your mother sounds like she is jealous and trying to control your relationships through emotional blackmail, which is SO damaging.

If you want to talk, please message me, as I know how bad this sort of dilemma can be.

Former Member

thanks

ive always kind of felt my mum is part of the problem, but never wanted to say it. would any of this make a diference to my teachers though??

Former Member

Her reaction is probably the most she is going to react, so I think you should tell her before anyone else does; or else she will have got over this and then have to react all over again and if she reacts badly to the teachers it might affect your relationship with them. So seriously I'd tell her now if I were you, get it over with, since she is going to find out one way or another anyway. That way she only has to react once. But thats my advice.

Former Member

Hey TryingtobeStrong,

It is completely understandable that telling your mum and stepdad was very hard and well done for doing it. Her reaction might not seem like the best one to have, but it is important to note that these things take time - and she might still be in shock about all this. It is good to hear that at least your stepdad reacted well at first, and perhaps now he is simply feeling the pressure from your mum - and sees you both upset.

The fact that your teachers have been very supportive and there for you is very positive news. It is very important to find someone who can support you, especially authorities - have you also been to your GP? Here is an video explaining what happens when you see your GP about self-harm.

The worry you have about this meeting is inevitable and it seems like the teachers are on your side, so there is no reason why your mum will react in a way to affect the teacher's opinions. It is up to you whether you wish to tell your mother the reason of the meeting beforehand. She might react badly again at first, but if you explain to her how you've been feeling and why then perhaps she will listen to you and understand better.

I am sending you a lot of courage and hugs *hug*

Former Member

thanks christele.

today has been hard... its been a week since i overdosed, ive been having flashbacks worse than ever today, and have been subconcioiusly retracing my steps.
the meeting is tomorrow and im panicking big time still
i realise what you have all said, but i really cant find it in me to tell her myself.

Blacksheep -
ive never known my mum to be this angry, but then i feel like i barely know her at all.
we have no bond or anything, shes just there to provide me with food and clothes, and rub it in my face when she and my sister have their "bonding" moments.


so so confused by all my thoughts right now