help think im addicted :( x

Former Member

i would like some adivice i jusd realised ive been cutting for nearly 2 yrs . im tryin to stop so tht my parents dont find out i ran away so they know i hav problems im slowly gettin help.i feel like im in a deep dark hole and really slowly the light is shining in ,it dont make sense but thts hows i feel i hav tried to get away to sort my head didnt work out . i get these thoughts were i want to cut and jusd die thn afterwards i,ll be either dead angry at my self or jusd cry myself to sleep because of wot im doin to myself then i,ll want to do it again its like a never endin cycle. i hate the way i look already i dont fink i could ever were a t shirt cause i hav scars on my arms . i dont want people to find out and think i do it for attention because i dont i do it for a release of angry or too feel sumfing real :,(.i jusd hope to god im able to stop bfore i go to far. im pretty scared of wot i could do. anybody got adivce .:(

To make it even worse at school in drama were doin runaways which i dont like i feel like im my character coz basicly i am i hav to do a monologe/solotalk in front of the class about a person who has run away and died so we hav to b like there friend or family which is really emotional for me help anyone ??i feel like i cant cope anymore jusd everthing is gettin to me now i feel like runnin again but further but ino thts not gonna help all my problems xx