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being in love with two people while dating one

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
:confused: i am really close friends with a guy, like really reallyyy close. recently he told me he loved me as more than a friend. that if i wasnt with my bf he wuld do anythin to be with me. he is a great guy and respects me ad my bf. i realised that i love him too, and one day i might like to be with him romatically. i told him that one day we may have our time.
anyone been here b4?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think if you think youre in love with two people, then youre probably in love with neither
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you just like the attention this other guy is giving you. Did you have any romantic feelings towards him before?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    moomoo wrote: »
    :confused: i am really close friends with a guy, like really reallyyy close. recently he told me he loved me as more than a friend. that if i wasnt with my bf he wuld do anythin to be with me. he is a great guy and respects me ad my bf. i realised that i love him too, and one day i might like to be with him romatically. i told him that one day we may have our time.
    anyone been here b4?

    Being in a very similar situation like you friend. I think it is really unfair to promise him to be with him one day, but you can neither say if, nor when this will really happen. Maybe it's just me, but I hate this kind of waiting for everything and nothing. Plus: I have no solution for you, because you really need to know best which guy is best for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep, happened to me. I think I was in love with them both, but decided I couldn't leave my partner of the time. We split up naturally a year later, and am with the second person to this day. I wouldn't recommend forcing a split if you are actually happy in your current relationship though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    moomoo wrote: »
    :confused: i am really close friends with a guy, like really reallyyy close. recently he told me he loved me as more than a friend. that if i wasnt with my bf he wuld do anythin to be with me. he is a great guy and respects me ad my bf. i realised that i love him too, and one day i might like to be with him romatically. i told him that one day we may have our time.
    anyone been here b4?

    If you feel that you may 'like to be' with the second guy 'romantically' in the future, that solves your own riddle for you : You are not truly in love with your current boyfriend and you love the 'close' friend more.

    Now it's your turn to 'respect' your current boyfriend, dump him and allow him to move on and meet a girl that doesn't have plans to possibly ditch him in the future. You're wasting your time with him and he certainly is wasting his time with you, poor bloke.

    Does that sound harsh? It's meant to be. Toying with peoples' emotions can be very destructive.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can't be in love with two people at once. You can like two people at once, you can care a lot about two people at once, but it is very very difficult to be romantically in love with two people at once.

    If you want to "have your time" with the new person, then you need to tell your boyfriend and split from him. If you would rather stick with your boyfriend, then you need to stop stringing the other boy along. Promising him honey tomorrow is not fair on him. Staying with your boyfriend when you really want to have a go with the new boy is not fair on the boyfriend.

    All you're doing at the minute is stringing two boys along. I suspect that you're doing it because you love the attention. Sure, it's great to be in demand but that's no excuse to behave without respect and consideration. It doesn't really matter which boy you choose, but really you need to think about choosing.

    I firmly believe that you can only have an 'open relationship' if you don't love any of your partners.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for all your opinions guys, i think i have it sorted. they are both amazing guys and i feel priveleged to merely know them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    talia wrote: »
    Yep, happened to me. I think I was in love with them both, but decided I couldn't leave my partner of the time. We split up naturally a year later, and am with the second person to this day. I wouldn't recommend forcing a split if you are actually happy in your current relationship though.

    thanks, this is prolly the best answer i got, and i understand that if this happened to me, well then we would all be better off. thanks talia!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    moomoo wrote: »
    thanks, this is prolly the best answer i got, and i understand that if this happened to me, well then we would all be better off. thanks talia!

    She ended up with the second guy. So get rid of your present boyfriend now and give him a chance to be with someone that loves him enough. Good luck.
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