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Just want to talk, maybe get adivce. (self-harm)
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I know why i do it.. ive had a stressful past, and have been getting help "dealing" with it, but what they dont know is that i deal with it by hurting myself..
I used to think i had control, but have lately realised that i dont and need help, but struggle to talk to the right people.. so far ive told one teacher who i trust, and she tried to get me help but nothing has happened in the two months since she did that.
Ive found advice ive read on here really useful, and just wanted to try and talk to some other people who may have a better understanding of what im going through.
I used to think i had control, but have lately realised that i dont and need help, but struggle to talk to the right people.. so far ive told one teacher who i trust, and she tried to get me help but nothing has happened in the two months since she did that.
Ive found advice ive read on here really useful, and just wanted to try and talk to some other people who may have a better understanding of what im going through.
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hi, welcome to the site. i'm new as well. i also self harm, ive had help in the past but now i have started again. it doesn't solve anything but i know what you mean when you say it helps you deal with it. its like everything around you is out of your control but self harm gives you something you can control. maybe you could go and speak to your teacher again, tell her how your feeling? ask her if she can get help for you..
*hug*
Yeah, i know it solves nothing, and just lately it hasnt had as great an effect, or release, as it used to... at the moment im telling myself not to because of this, but have slipped up a bit.
Ive been thinking about talking to my teacher, but ive grown up being told im always in the way and annoying people, so i get really paranoid about getting on peoples nerves or being a burden, if you get me.
I know its stupid and i try to ignore those feelings, but it does make it a lot harder for me to talk to people
dont worry about slipping up, we all do at times. i have tonight as well as last night too.
hm i feel exactly the same as you, i find it hard to talk to people and trust them because i dont want to waste their time. all i can say is, although i cant do it, just go for it and speak to him/her.
Ill do my best to tomorrow if i can.
difficult at the moment since i have no free time at school due to mock exams.
i think my other problem could possibly be behind my relationship.. we are really close, so i confided in him that i had s/hed once. that is all he knows of, and i know it cant have been nice for him to find out, but hes gone very quiet since despite me reassuring him and he refuses to talk to me.. so i think im scared of something like that happening with anyone else of my friends or family.
thanks
ah right, how old are you? its good that you have a bf, someone who you are close to. your right it must not have been nice to hear but he loves you and is probably worried about saying something to upset you. if you get help from elsewhere you can tell your bf that and that he doesnt have to worry then you can have fun again. your teacher should keep things confidential so friends and family don't need to know.
*hug*
Im 15, in my last year.
I think i will talk to my teacher again because she had similar experiences in her teens to what has happened to me before, she knows how to help me and what to say,i suppose.
The only thing i worry about is if she can keep things. she has never told my parents anything, but by law if she hears anything that makes her worry about my mental health she has to pass it on
oh cool, well i've just started sixth form so i know what year eleven is like. just keep focused on your exams but also make time to relax :-).
talk to your teacher and you might feel better just getting some of the things in your head out in the open.
i had a similar experience when my teacher contacted my parents because she thought i was suicidal, it was awful. just be careful what you say but still try to be honest as possible so that you can get help.
Im almost living my revision at the moment. which is a bit odd since ive never revised properly before, not even for exams last year. But it will help my exam results and i find it a good escape, distracts me from urges. (:
Part of me thinks i should try talking to other people so that i dont rely on my teacher too much, but im not too sure at the moment.
haha its a good thing to revise though that way you wont worry as much when it comes to exams, if you dont revise you will regret it.
i think its good to talk to your teacher whilst you can, and that way she might be able to get you help. what do you mean so you dont rely on her?
because i often find i need support the most out of school, but because none of my friends know anything i find im stuck.. if i feel down in school i rely on being able to talk to my teacher, and then annoy my friends by walking away without any explanations.
the only other person i have spoken to is my dad, who lives miles away with my step-mum.. they havent asked me anything or offered any support yet, so i never really know what to say if i need help
yes i understand, like weekends and holidays?
i also had exactly the same problem, my friends couldnt understand why i would leave them. maybe just tell them you have a few things going on in your life and you just ask advice now and then.
it is good if you can let your parents know how you are feeling, they coiuld get you help or take you to the doctors. it might be a good idea if you feel you need help outside of school. let your teacher know these concerns though.
I do try telling them that, i get that they worry about me, but sometimes i feel they cant accept i dont want to talk about things. so they often bug me, which means i end up getting angry and we all argue.
I think my dad just hasn't a clue what to do... he has had worse experiences than me, but he never had any sort of depression or problems with s/h, drugs or drink. In some ways i think he is scared... and i wouldnt want to push him.
Thanks for all this... its nice to know that there are people out there!
just trying to help so no need to say thank you
its normal to worry about our parents especially when they have bad experiences but dont compare yourself to him. we all deal with things differently.
try not to think about talking to your parents but i really think it will help if you talk to your teacher and get some help. that way if you get help you wont have to rely on your teacher or family. its hard but be strong
I will do my best, and will try to speak to my teacher if i get a breaktime tomorrow. (i know im definately not getting lunch time)
thanks again.. *hug*
make sure you take time out to relax and not think about work! one lunch time won't hurt you. hope things go ok. always here for you
*hug*
today was a little better but still havent spoken to anyone...
i know i need to as having too much time to think about it all is getting too much...
i went to the extreme of trying to s/h with the laminated bit of card they put your names on in exams
only made a light scratch, but i know i need to get some more help.
ive found writing down my feelings dosnt really help at all...
any other ideas of how i can let my emotions out without hurting myself or anyone else??
First of all, *hug*
The fact that you want to overcome this is a huge step and you're in the right place to get support here - as hidingbehindasmile has shown, there are loads of people going through the same thing as you who can share their experiences. Have you seen this section on self harm? There are loads of stories from people who have shared your experiences, such as how to confide in someone. You also say you're looking for other ways to let your emotions out - have a read of these coping tips, hopefully you can find something in there to help you without hurting yourself physically.
Maybe you could also show your parents this page about supporting someone who self harms? It's a pretty scary thing to hear so they may not understand or know what they can do to help.
I hope this helps. Please do keep posting here and take care of yourself .
Cat xx
i had looked at the self-harm and confiding in someone sections..
just had a look at coping tips,and am going to try a couple of those.
May walk around school with elastic bands on my wrists, as i sometimes get urges at school, but the fact of where i am tends to stop me cutting.. ill just let it build up until i get home.
I am going to try talking to my dad, and see if he will read that section.
but i often used hairdressing scissors to s/h...
and now i just get this funny feeling when isee anything related to hairdressers/hairdressing..
I cant try to just get on with it, since i live with my mother, who is a hairdresser! (hence where i got the scissors)
Any ideas to stop this stupid feeling?
It isn't a stupid feeling at all, it actually makes alot of sense that you would have an association.
I'm not sure of your full circumstances but I know you seem worried about your teacher referring on any concerns about your mental health, maybe it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing being able to talk to somebody in depth about your feelings?
dp
met up with my teacher today..
shes being so helpful and supportive.. becoming more like a friend..
kind of glad she doesnt actually teach any of my lessons now, as i dont know how i would have acted.
Im feeling much better today... glad my weekend is looking up as i was dreading it!
if somebody broke your heart, and left you to suffer.
if you knew they were behind the reasons you s/h (you wouldnt blame them, but know they are part of the reason)
would it be worth leaving them behind and just moving on ??
yes.
would you then say the same thing if i said it was my mother..?
Yeah, but hoping to probably move out when i finish school in the summer.
and just to add, i have wanted to do so for a few years.
If you can move out somehow (and safely) I would do it. You don't have to break all contact, but I found the little extra distance helped so much.
ive just smashed my head against a door as my mum was screaming at me, because i asked her a question when she was trying to watch tv..
everything is my fault.. and i let her words get to me, and i believe her