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Aching Heart
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Aching Heart
Laying here thinking what a useless failure i really am,
Hoping that as soon as i shut my eyes,
You'll never see them open again,
Tears quickly roll down my cheeks
I then cry myself to sleep,
Really hating this eating disorder,
Seize 14 i was happy now hate myself so much,
Cant bare to look at myself,
How did it get this way
Behind my smile is me falling apart,
My heart is aching and im so sick of faking,
Pretending im okay when its nothing but a lie,
Because deep down all i wanna do is die,
Ana is ruling my life,
Shes making my life hell,
Can you really not tell,
I look in the mirror and stare at my reflection
and whisper you fat bitch and sit there and cry
Screaming inside my head
Wishing that i would just die
Im terid of living this life,
Theres so many secrets behind my smile you'll never know,
coping the best i can by starving the pain away,
Extremely good at hiding the pain, the guilt and hurt,
I think im becoming a pro
because people dont know ive hit an all time low,
Behind my smile is me falling apart,
My heart is aching and im so sick of faking,
Pretending im okay when its nothing but a lie,
Because deep down all i wanna do is die,
Hurts so much to sit here and lie,
Saying that im fine when all i wanna do is cry,
I hate this discusting vile body,
Everyday i punish myself wishing to die,
Anorexia creeps into my mind,
Telling me to starve away,
I'll never be good enough,
Loosing the will to live,
I have nothing else to give,
Anorexias gripped me so tight,
so tights the pains to much to bare
I just dont care
Behind my smile is me falling apart,
My heart is aching and im so sick of faking,
Pretending im okay when its nothing but a lie,
Because deep down all i wanna do is die,
Dreading the days ahead,
Cant stop the voices that are in my head,
Cutting arms just so i can get through the day,
Screaming with pain but no-ones listening
People think im okay because im smiling but they dont know whats behind closed doors,
I sit here crying on the floor holding my blade
and staring at my cuts on my arms hoping they'll soon fade
Reallu wishing you will just kill me as gave up hope,
as i can no longer cope
Dani Stanford Written 12th Jan 2011
Laying here thinking what a useless failure i really am,
Hoping that as soon as i shut my eyes,
You'll never see them open again,
Tears quickly roll down my cheeks
I then cry myself to sleep,
Really hating this eating disorder,
Seize 14 i was happy now hate myself so much,
Cant bare to look at myself,
How did it get this way
Behind my smile is me falling apart,
My heart is aching and im so sick of faking,
Pretending im okay when its nothing but a lie,
Because deep down all i wanna do is die,
Ana is ruling my life,
Shes making my life hell,
Can you really not tell,
I look in the mirror and stare at my reflection
and whisper you fat bitch and sit there and cry
Screaming inside my head
Wishing that i would just die
Im terid of living this life,
Theres so many secrets behind my smile you'll never know,
coping the best i can by starving the pain away,
Extremely good at hiding the pain, the guilt and hurt,
I think im becoming a pro
because people dont know ive hit an all time low,
Behind my smile is me falling apart,
My heart is aching and im so sick of faking,
Pretending im okay when its nothing but a lie,
Because deep down all i wanna do is die,
Hurts so much to sit here and lie,
Saying that im fine when all i wanna do is cry,
I hate this discusting vile body,
Everyday i punish myself wishing to die,
Anorexia creeps into my mind,
Telling me to starve away,
I'll never be good enough,
Loosing the will to live,
I have nothing else to give,
Anorexias gripped me so tight,
so tights the pains to much to bare
I just dont care
Behind my smile is me falling apart,
My heart is aching and im so sick of faking,
Pretending im okay when its nothing but a lie,
Because deep down all i wanna do is die,
Dreading the days ahead,
Cant stop the voices that are in my head,
Cutting arms just so i can get through the day,
Screaming with pain but no-ones listening
People think im okay because im smiling but they dont know whats behind closed doors,
I sit here crying on the floor holding my blade
and staring at my cuts on my arms hoping they'll soon fade
Reallu wishing you will just kill me as gave up hope,
as i can no longer cope
Dani Stanford Written 12th Jan 2011
0