Need Advice Or Just To Talk About Self Harm Or Depression?

Former Member

I'm studying psychology at college and i recently over came depression and self harm. I believe the truth about things is the only way forward, so i am going to be completely honest in anything i say on here. You are free to discuss your experiances and ask me any questions you would like.
But there are rules..

1.Everyone is unique so i will not stand for other peole judging others or making nasty comments.
2. I don't want other to encourage self harming. This is only to discuss it, not say it's right or wrong.

I am now 17 and i started self harming when i was 13, i've got over 100 big scars all over my body and they rule my life. I stopped self harming for 2 years but i'm slowly falling back into it. I need advice on how to keep myself safe...from myself.

Former Member

Hello NeverEndingFall, welcome to TheSite :wave:

It's interesting to hear your rules as these are the kind of rules that ring true accross TheSite and these discussion forums so you've obviously come to the right place :yes:

Was there a particular issue you wanted to discuss? You will have noticed a fair few threads in this forum about self-harm and depression so feel free to get involed in them and also to share your own experiences.

Former Member

Welcome! you may also find it more useful to post something on your mind so we can give advice and listen, rather than letting us ask you questions

Former Member

Wow! Well done for being able to stop and over coming the self-harm and depression, that's great :d

do u mind me asking how u managed to stop because i'm trying to stop this year and am finding it a bit difficult at the moment

thanks
ghostlife *hug*

Former Member

Thank you Jo7. There isn't anything in particular i would llike to discuss, but i am about to set up my own website and i just thought i'd see how it goes first. Thank you very much for welcoming me and making me feel at home

Former Member

Ghostlife..

thank you
it has been a tough 4 years to over come my problems. I stopped selfharming for about a month because i was in hospital and after that, i seeked help from my family and from professionals, it was hard to trust them but i knew that i couldn't live my life like this. Exercise helps alot because it makes the happy chemicals in your brain work, so therefor i became happier.

But the only thing that will help you over come these situations is will power, if you truely want to help yourself it will work. But untill then, you've just got to stay strong and be open about things.

xx *hug*

Former Member

Ghostlife..

Finding out what made you start self harming is the first step. You can work upwards from that, it won't be easy and having to work threw all your emotions will be exhausting but it is worth the hard work. Please let me know how you get on.

xx

Former Member

I know why i self harm. I've been bullied for 2 years by boys a year older than me. Nothing's happened in about 2 months but i still worry.

i did speak to my deputy head of year today, i gave her some poems and a story i'd written since year 7, when the bullying began, just to kinda let someone know how i was feeling/ am feeling. Didnt really go well, my deputy head of year has to pass the poems and story on to the child protection officer which i'm not too happy about. cause the child protection officer always tells ur parents things even if u dont want her too, i got her for english on thursdays aswell . Have to see how that goes...

i do want to try and make things better though.
thank you for replying
ghostlife *hug*

Former Member

Well done in telling someone what's been going on, that's one the hardest parts of going threw this. And thank your for sharing your story with me, it also helps me aswell. I was scared about my parents finding out too, but it's for the best. You sound like a really bright girl, and i wish you all the best. I know thursday is playing on your mind but you've done so well so far. And there is no need to thank me for replying, this is part of what i want to do...to try and help.

Please let me know how thursday goes?
xxx *hug*

Former Member

First of all, thank you *hug*

Today went okay, i guess. Child protection officer spoke to me about them and asked me basically the same questions as my deputy head of year: when were these written, do u still feel like this, are you still cutting and on that general line. i told them mostly the truth. Like i did say i was still cutting, but haven't done anything for a bit, which is true. but when i wrote them i said year 7 and last year. some were written this year in year 9 and now i'm not sure if i should have actually told them that. if i do tell anyone it'll be my deputy head, i trust her more. also some of my poems really did show me feeling suicidal, and i sometimes still do and it can get bad at times but i dont want to tell them that or they'll tell my parents again. a lot of the time i'll feel fine and happy then suddenly i'll feel really down and miserable. I made them believe that it wasnt bad enough for the poems to be shown to my parents but they were going to be put in my folder. I asked the CPO if i could have them back and she let me so that's all good . Now i have them so it cant be shown to my parents and i dont like the school having them, let alone it being put in my file!!!

Thanks for listening to me *hug*
xx

Former Member

I'm here when ever you need someone to talk to *hug*
I'm so glad today went okay, i know i don't know you but i thought about it all day. You've done so well to tell them everything so far and it's only normal to not want your parents to know. If you don't want to tell them everything then you don't have to because as least you've told them what's going on. I feel the same way you do, my mood changes in seconds and sometimes i don't even realise why. You should be so proud of yourself for telling someone about how you feel, and i'm glad the CPO gave you your poems back. Can i ask why your worried about your parents finding out? Do you think they'll be angry upset, disappointed or is it just that it's personal to you?

I'm so glad today went okay and i wish you the best untill i next talk to you. And thank you for sharing your story with me xx *hug*

Former Member

Thank you NeverEndingFall, it means a lot

The reason i dont want my parents to find out is because the poems are quite personal but also because i tried to kill myself because of the bullying and the school found out and had to tell my parents about everything and my dad went mad! It was weeks ago he found out but he still doesnt let me have a lot of freedom and the relationship between my parents are falling further and further apart because of all of it. I do sometimes talk to my mum but not my dad anymore. My dad would get so mad if he read them, my mum would be alright but i dont really want her to see them.

Thank you so much for listening to me
I am here if u ever need to talk too xx

Former Member

My dad wasn't usefull either, he beat me for 2 days and then caused a scene in the hospital. It must be really hard to see your parents suffering, but what ever happens.. it's not your fault! Your mom sounds really supportive, so that's good. I'm so glad you write, i found it really helps me. Even though i stopped s/h (till about an hour ago) i still write to relieve the stress.

I need your advice.. i was engaged last year to a guy and we broke up cause of my depression but we are still good mates. I'm going to see him tomorrow to get some of my stuff but i'm scared that seeing him will just make me love him more, and then s/h. I want to go because i miss him, but it is a good idea?

I saw your post about swimming, how bad are your scars?

I feel like i've made a friend xx

Former Member

That's terrible, you shouldnt of had to put up with that! I hope everything's okay now. My dad told me if i wanted to die then i should . Maybe with ur ex you could either delay it until u feel better or ask him if he doesn't mind going out whilst u go and get ur stuff because ur not ready to see him again yet? If u think there's a chance u'll s/h though i wouldnt risk seeing him yet xx

And i'm glad writing helps u too and it doesn't matter u s/hed a hour ago, it's great that u've managed to go so long and stayed so strong. It's natural to have some slip ups xx

Yeah the scars are pretty bad, my mate stood a couple of metres away and said she could still see them i'll just try and see if i can get out of it with the child protection officer, even if it means showing her my scars :S.

I'm so glad i've had the opportunity to speak to u and i too feel like i've made a new friend *hug* xx

Former Member

Yeah , everything is better now but i'm just waiting for it to go wrong again. I did end up going and it didn't go well

I'm so sorry your dad said that to you, *hug* you don't deserve that at all.

How did swimming go? i take it you've already been?

xx *hug*

Former Member

no i dont have swimming until wednesday but i spoke to my child protection officer today to see if she could get me off it. she goes no, u can get your parents to write a letter in to get you out of it.
well that's great...
so i asked my deputy head of year and at first she said no but then she could see that i was getting upset and knows i will stress out about it so she said she'll see what she can do. fingers crossed she can get me out even if i have to do one or two lessons.

what happened babe? do u want to talk about it? *hug* xx

Former Member

fingers crossed (: i wish i had all the support you do when people found out i was s/h.

He tried it on with me and tried telling me he loved me, which is a lie. But it don't feel too bad.. just numb. He made me feel so small and pathetic, so i've just hidden in my room over the last couple of days


xxx *hug*