Needs help on best friends.. :/

Former Member

What's up! :wave:

I'm a combination of :banghead: and :crying:.
I've just graduated High school, on the 18th November. First week, my best friend was all good with me, we went and saw HP7 with a few other of my high school friends. We were fine, that weekend on Saturday night I was telling him about work and what happened with my mum Friday night.. I spoke to him for about 30 minutes, via IM... Then he randomly signed off.

I didn't hear from him, for the rest of the week, I sent him text messages, I asked him via Facebook wall "Why he wouldn't speak to me." Anyway, I realized tonight that he actually deleted me off Facebook. So what, I did I actually wrote him a mail and this is what it said:

Myself:
Dude, why are ignoring me? One minute you were okay, the next you deleted me off Facebook, and aren't talking to me anymore? What the hell did I do wrong? You were supposed to be my best friend.

My friend (won't say name):
Well I guess you have the lying bitch as a best friend now. Over the years you've always put other people first and have never gone through with a whole stack of shit. High school is over and so is our friendship.

Myself.. Again:
Whole stack of shit? What are YOU talking about? It would have been nice, if you told me it was over. Instead of acting the way you did. Cool, I'm glad this friendship is over, because I don't need a friend like you.

With the FIRST line he said to me, he sounds overly jealous with a tinge spite mixed in. He has this issue with asking his mother if he can go out at night and in the day time too, ON several occasions I've asked him "Oh wanna hit it up at the mall?" "Oh, no I cbf, plus the bus doesn't come for another hour or so." Which is a complete bullshit lie.

Because I treat all my friends the same no matter what, I always invited them out, I always included everyone. And being told that I put everyone before myself, Isn't that a GOOD thing?

I'm upset and angry at the same time.
Take care<3
Rachel.

Former Member

I don't know, maybe he is just an asshole.

Guess there is nothing you can and actually should do. He blew his chances of a friendship with you.

You'll find new people eventually. I know it sucks, but nothing you can do, right? I wish I had an explanation for his bullshittery, but I don't. I guess it's clear tho, that you are through.

Former Member

I figured that, he replied to my message via facebook. But I refused to reply back, he then sent me a text message, I didn't reply to that either. I know, I wish I could understand his bullshittery StrubbleS myself as too why, he's like this.

I guess people change and their is nothing you can do about, I'm over it. And I don't need people like that.
Take care! Rachel.

Former Member

Exactly. For me the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference. If he was done with you, he would have just let the contact slide and make excuses until you lose interest eventually, but when someone really wants you to notice he is cutting you out of his live, it is best to not give them the attention they are craving.

Former Member

I completely agree, so I did the bigger thing and ignored him. Which doesn't worry me Anyway! Thanks for posting your thought. Take care!

Former Member

I completely agree

Former Member

Hi Kim18,

The way your friend has treated you seems very unfair. Sometimes it is hard to truly know whether someone we care about and get along with are a friend or a foe. Have you had arguments like this before?

When friends go bad it is always hard to know how to react. Do you contact them again and again to see why they are acting this way? Or do you just leave it and end the friendship? Perhaps for your own closure, depending on how important this friendship is to you, you could send him an email asking why he is acting this way and saying how you feel?
Or perhaps you would like to keep silent. If so you could give it a couple weeks and see if he reacts to this.

It is always hard to keep friendships going when situations in life or circumstances change. A lot of people struggle to keep their friends after school or university. Perhaps this is an insecurity of his? It would not excuse his behaviour, yet perhaps something is going on with him and he is pushing you away.

Good luck and congratulations on graduating! x

Former Member

Christele,
We've had arguements in the past, but never like this ever before, and I don't understand, why? I asked him why, and I got this very rude answer saying how two-faced I was? When he said to me, "You are best friends with the lying bitch now" And then when she sent him an email, he was all nice to her and told her how much of a two-faced person I was. So, he automatically looks like the two-faced person?

I don't deserve an answer like that, and if he wants to be like that, and not try and give me a reason, then I'll leave him alone, and I won't make much more of the conversation. I'll just wonder why HE did this to his best friend of 5 years? He's a really selfish person, and I know in the past he has backstabbed quite a few people, by doing the same thing he did to me.

I mean, I fully understand sometimes in life that these things happen, but with technolody nowadays, you can still keep in touch with people, you have Facebook? I don't understand, I mean I think there is something wrong, I mean.. His mother doesn't allow him to go out at night or stay over at friends places or parties. I mean, maybe that is the reason. But, you don't in the middle of a conversation.. Decide to just, block the person without a reason, it's coward like.

Take care, Kim<3