I NEED HELP NOW WITH THIS ISSUE!! please read and respond :(

Former Member

so i have this really big problem that has caused alot of arguements between my bf and i . and we have been together a few months shy of two years so i have no idea why i still have the issue.
its jelousy if your wondering.
but the only reason why i still have the problem is because he hasnt solved his half of the issue. by that i mean when we sit down and watch tv or after .. sex.. hell pick up his phone and text this girl he doesnt even know. and constantly he has been talking to her for the past two months non-stop.
i have told him how i feel and no i have no ever accused him of anything or blammed him for cheating. but he just tells me that i need to trust him and that he and this girl he talks to all the time are just friends and he likes talking to her.
i have no issue with him talking to her but it just drives me nuts how he talks to her CONSTANTLY. ugh .
i really desprately need advice though on how to over look this matter. its destroying our relationship . as we are on rocks as it is and he said that if i dont fix the problem soon it will be over with us. and the worst part is he moves in a week to start his apprenticeship in newmarket. and ill only be moving up there with him if things get better.

PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY PROBLEM !!

Former Member

So he's constantly texting this girl but then says that YOU have to sort this problem out. He's not taking any responsibility at all for this, and making out like its all your fault

Former Member

exactly

i know i need to give him his privacy and he hates when i ask him what they talk about.. but the thing is the first time i mentioned something about him talking to her i said" whos this girl and do you know her?" he just said he went to school with her a couple years back.. and i was like oh ok.. then they started talking all the time and then i said something again " you guys talk alot liek really what do you talk about cause your always laughing when you do "
he just said shes fun to talk to and im not doing anything wrong..
so i left it for a while again .. then i noticed a convo they were having lst week or so and she keeps telling him about how she never talks to the guy she likes and that she talks to james ( my bf) more..
so i said to him thats the case cause shes always to busy talking to you..
and i had enough one night and i said to him IN MY EXACT WORDS@!!!! " you talk to her enough to make me think you have a thing for her " his reply was outrageous..
he flipped out and said i should trust him and that were through, he said he has had it with me questioning him.. ( even though we live together in his parents house and have been for the past two years almost..)
its just crazy like i dont care that he txts ppl but when hes talkingto them alllll day and night and even like i said before while were having dinner or something it makes me mad..
ive always had an issue with him txting all the time .. i dont knwo what to do..:grump:
so i said to him yestarda

Former Member

so... why isn't he talking to you?

Former Member

we live together like i said so he just tells me " i see you every day why do i need to talk to you .. and he always says that shes fun to talk to .. i dunno

Former Member

id go mental about it

Former Member

Sounds like he likes the comfort of having you, and the excitement of the chase with this new girl

Former Member

i am going mental but i know i shouldnt be which is why i need advice on how not to be mental abou it lol.. and as for the comment before this one.. there is no chase with this girl he talks to .. were still technically together and shes seeing a couple diffrent guys.. and she has made it clear to him that she never would want to date hiim regardles..
but yeah i just would like some advice on how to control this issue..

Former Member

Hi dmjs15,

You are obviously really bothered by the fact that your boyfriend is constantly texting this girl and also by the way he responds to you when you ask him about her and what they talk about.

It is important to recognise the difference between asking questions in an "attacking" way and in a genuine "out of interest" way. He might be feeling accused and defensive when asked about her, so it is important to ask in a non-inquisitive way.
However, communicating as a couple is essential to a good relationship and perhaps it is worth sitting down and talking about this properly rather than mentioning it as soon as he texts her.

Jealousy can be very destructive in a relationship however it is a perfectly normal emotion. Perhaps you could tell him that it is not because you live together that you cannot talk together, and perhaps making an effort to have fun and spend time together going out alone?

Hope this helps,
Good luck

Former Member

..

When I approach him with a question that's regarding the situation I alaways make sure it's as nicely put as possible yes. But I've tried not saying anything when he texts her but he sees that it upsets me and hears me huff and puff when he texts her ad asks what's wrong .. And I don't know what to do about that ..
We do try to get out and do things like for walks once in a blue moon which is nice he leaves his phone in the car then lol which I appreciate .. And before he leaves this Sunday for Newmarket we plan on going to the movies on Saturday I just hope he misses me when he leaves and things get berthed because things do feel rite when were together and smiling together ..

Former Member

Would you feel the same way if he was constantly texting one of his guy mates?

Former Member

..

no.. i dont think i would care if he was txting one of his guy friends as much . i mean i would be a little up set that he was alaways on his phone but not because he was txting.. :no: