Could I have BPD?

Former Member

I've often wondered whether I have some sort of personality disorder. I definitely think I act irrationally sometimes and that I don't act 'normally'. While I'm scared to go and get diagnosed in case I do have one, because I don't want my life to start revolving around that, it'd be helpful if I could get something more official rather than my own self-diagnosis and wonderings. At least then I could get some help for it so I wouldn't feel so crap all the time.

I know I have depression - whether it's manic or not I don't know, but I can tell. Also I have extremely strange emotional mood swings - sometimes I can just break down into absolute hysterical tears when I'm alone. I never let myself cry like this in front of people. Sometimes I can also get extremely angry, and while I'm usually good at containing my anger, when it gets like this I want to hit something. I've hit close family members before, including biting, scratching, kicking and hitting my older sister who is like a second half or twin to me. Honestly, we're so close, but I've done that to her and it's just weird...

I've failed to find anything that really encompasses these symptoms very well, so if I do have a personality disorder, I have no idea what. I also suffer from depersonalization occasionally, although within the past 1-2 years it hasn't been as prominent as it had been in the previous 3-4 years.

Thoughts? If you need to ask more questions please do; self-diagnosis isn't amazing so I thought I'd get second opinions before I go and see a professional doctor or consultant ( I will go so... please don't just tell me to go and see one instead of asking people. I'd quite like to go with some idea of what could be troubling/affecting me).

Former Member

I think it is good that you are deciding to go see a doctor without having to be told, and I'm not going to just say see a doctor. It does seem that something isn't right, however I personally have very little experience with matters like this, so I don't think it would be wise for me to comment.

Regardless of you having a brilliant, or a not so good idea of what is going on, the doctor is likely to still give the same advice, so try not to worry yourself too much.

Former Member

rosellegreywood wrote: »

I've often wondered whether I have some sort of personality disorder. I definitely think I act irrationally sometimes and that I don't act 'normally'. While I'm scared to go and get diagnosed in case I do have one, because I don't want my life to start revolving around that, it'd be helpful if I could get something more official rather than my own self-diagnosis and wonderings. At least then I could get some help for it so I wouldn't feel so crap all the time.

just because you get a diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean you will get treatment, because some medics (wrongly) believe personality disorders to be incurable. that doesn't mean you shouldn't go to your doctor though.

Former Member

Hi there rosellegreywood,

As has been said it is great that you are going to see a health professional about the things that you have described. Do keep posting for any advice you may need about doing that, or about anything else. This is a great place to explore how you feel and get support.

Feelings of anger, depression, irrational thoughts & acts and breaking down in tears would all suggest that you may need some help, but it will be difficult for anyone on here to confidently say if that means you have a personality disorder, the only way to truely know is to be assessed and diagnosed. However, diagnosis isn't always helpful for some and ultimately it's about finding new ways of coping and dealing with things differently, which can be done with or without a diagnosis.

You sound like you have a close relationship with your family. Can you talk to them about how you feel, or perhaps a friend? Sharing your thoughts with someone and ideas about getting help can sometimes be really useful. If you want to talk someone confidentailly, you could speak to someone at a helpline?

We wish you lots of luck, take care