Personality disorders

Former Member

Hello all. I posted on here about a year ago when I was first diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I'm still in the process of trying to get some help for that but I'm not here for advice about me.

The past two weeks have been very chaotic for my family. My little brother moved to uni and was bullied so badly he came back during the first week. Whilst he was still there, I was trying to suggest ways of making the situation better (I also had a tough time in my first year) and he said that I'd always been better at dealing with things than he was. I decided it was only fair to tell him that I had ended up on ADs after several suicide attempts. He then revealed to me that he had also tried to take his life. I was really worried about him but before I had a chance to contact my parents, the decision was made for him to come home so I thought all would be well.

He has just asked me on Skype about my ADs and asked me if I had BPD. I was pretty taken aback since I'd never mentioned it to him. I explained that I'd been diagnosed but hadn't received any treatment due to a few cock ups and then me moving abroad. I asked him why he was asking and he said that he'd been feeling pretty crappy for a long while and had looked these things up and that he thought he had it. Our grandmother has also suffered for many years with mental health disorders but nobody in the family really talks about it, although I know that she is on ADs. Am I right in thinking that if someone in your close family has a disorder, there's an increased chance of you having one?

I've suggested that he talk to our GP about how he's feeling but I'm a bit lost as to what else I can do, seeing as I'm in Canada and he's in England. I've offered to talk to our parents for him but he wants to wait a bit.

Any ideas?

Former Member

Sorry I haven't got many words of advice, but I just wanted to say it does sound like you just being there has helped him already, knowing that he can ask you questions and you have been in a similar situation.

Maybe just let him know you are always there for him and see how it goes for the time being?

Former Member

Well, I tried to reassure him that if he does have a personality disorder, it won't be the end of the world. I told him about the services in our area and said if he wanted someone to go with and was willing to wait, then I'd go to see someone with him.

Hopefully things will start to get better, I don't want there to be any panic-y phonecalls back home if I think he may try something.

Former Member

Hi Marina,

As has been said, it sound's like you are doing all the right things in terms advice and support for your brother. If he has only looked at the internet etc and 'self-diagnosed' then you could perhaps suggest that he sees someone for a professional opinion as it can be very frightening to look at symptoms on the internet or in books.

Could you point your brother in the direction of some of the national helplines suggested on here. As he based in the UK, he will be able to access them all.

We couldn't fully answer about if you are at an increased risk of inherited health problems - again something for a health professional to answer for you. We hope that you are OK and remember to take care of yourself and get the help and treatment that you seem to have missed out on because of the cock ups along the way. Keep posting to let us know how you get on.

Former Member

I was diagnosed with BPD a few years ago. I have spoken to a lot of doctors and have done a lot of research about it. Doctors still don't know for sure what causes BPD, but there are similarities in the histories of borderline individuals. There is a high occurrence of hereditary predisposition. You may be at a higher risk of BPD if a close family member - mother, father or sibling - has it. However, like I said, there is very little that is known about BPD so far. Some other common factors are childhood abuse and neglect.

I hope things work out well for both of you!

Former Member

Cheers people. I won't be able to start treatment until I'm back in the country (it's one of the downsides of travelling for a year - doctors are reluctant to treat you because you're not there long enough.)

I haven't spoken to my family today, they all seem to have gone to bed before I came on Skype. Hopefully I'll hear from them tomorrow and things will start to get better.

The internet is often your own worst enemy when you think something's wrong. Hopefully he'll pluck up the courage to our GP so he can get a professional opinion.