Why would she does this?

Former Member

I was seeing this girl who had an abusive past and I truely loved her so I did my damned best to make her happy even got her a car and we were in a relationship for a year.

She grew cold on me and eventually we split. I still loved her and she said she was confused etc so i left her to it.

The other day I find out shes now in a relationship with her ex again. Bare in mind he treated her awful, cheated on her etc. So i asked her what was going on and she told me to delete her number. We were best friends literally months ago.

Shes gone from having everything and being spoilt to this relationship that she was so unhappy in before, I just don't see the logic...

Former Member

Well unfortnately love isnt logic and it often clouds our judgment of people. Even though he's treated her badly she might not be able to see through it because she still loves him. She also wants to cut contact with you because she feels guilty about leaving you.

My advice would be to not pester her or bug her, leave her be, but be there for her when she needs friend and a shoulder to cry on

Former Member

After I read "seeing this girl with an abusive past" nothing would surprise me anymore. I used to get involved with a lot of broken girls in the past it always went awry and realized it's not worth the hassle, even tho I might be prejudging a whole lot of people with this. Dysfunctional people just have the power to ruin you completely.

And you don't spoil people to keep them to you. Getting her a car so early on? That's a bit much I suppose.

Don't try to "win her back", she is capable of making illogical, stupid decisions that will hurt and harm her instead of bringing her happiness and contentment and will hurt and harm you in the process, and she will do it again.

Steer clear.

Former Member

It's difficult because shes lied to me so much and really hurt me and at first I wanted her to suffer but I know and everyone knows shes going to end up in a mess again and as much as shes hurt me and changed I don't want to see her hurt :banghead: :banghead:

I just never imagined it, I thought she really loved me... guess I was blinded by love

Former Member

Happens to the best of us. And there is really nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. I mean, it's not like you could foresee this. Now, you can either learn from this, or again be the sucker who gets played.

Hope you'll get over it soon.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

Happens to the best of us. And there is really nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. I mean, it's not like you could foresee this. Now, you can either learn from this, or again be the sucker who gets played.

Hope you'll get over it soon.

Thanks pal times a healer and all that :thumb:

Skive

Lexi99 wrote: »

Well unfortnately love isnt logic and it often clouds our judgment of people.

:yes: But I don't agree that's it's unfortunate, though I'm sure that's what the OP wants to here.

I like the fact that you can't help who you love, it's what makes love so damn frustrating, so hard to understand and also so amazing.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

Don't try to "win her back", she is capable of making illogical, stupid decisions that will hurt and harm her instead of bringing her happiness and contentment and will hurt and harm you in the process, and she will do it again.

Steer clear.

totally agree with this. I know its hard but shes just gonna keep on hurting you, shes done it already and knows she can get away with it.
Deleting her number so the temptation to get in touch is removed, is probably a good idea.

Former Member

I've seen too many nice people end up breaking down because they havnt managed to change someone that so desperately needed help, but never took it.

Former Member

Hi Pokerstar,

In any situation it is hard to go through a break up, and the fact that she had an abusive past and you felt you could help her, makes it perhaps harder.
Whether she is back with her ex for the wrong reason is really up to her, and it might seem like a step back from being with you, but at the end of the day it is her mistake to make.

Unfortunately it may be time for you to accept it's over and gradually in time you will get over this. Mending a broken heart is never easy, especially as you are worried about her being with her ex now. The fact that she has cut contact with you as well may seem harder now, but could be a blessing in disguise in the long run.
You seem to have been worrying and taking care of her during your whole relationship, and perhaps it could be ok for you to feel some kind of relief that she has taken her problems to someone else.

Hope this helps,

Good luck x

Former Member

what can I say...girls always go for those abusive, cheating assholes

Former Member

Forget her mate, best thing you can do now is move on, dont mope around, spend some time on yourself and enjoy being single, maybe go gym, take up lessons of some sort, thats what i would do.

Treat yourself to some shopping, clothes, music, whatever.

You said at first you wanted her to suffer, that happens when you feel mistreated by someone, its kind of a natural feeling in any situation, revenge!

That wont get you anywhere or change anything.

Your you... It doesnt matter about everyone else in the world or even if they think your crap, your still you and you need to be your own person with your own set of morals and ethics.

I think you should not have high expectations of other people

Just have high expectations of yourself.

I know you will be stronger from this and you will find real love with someone, but shes not the one for you mate. :thumb: