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am i doing the right thing or am i missing it?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am 23 and just started the new semester of school in my third week already, and things have gotten better alot, (i didnt like last semester had confidence issues and worries). and i am looking for a relationship, but ive never had one and i had confidence issues with talking to women etc, though this semster ive talked to more women and feel a little less shy then i did earlier, still there are women i like in my classes, but they dont know i like them and i would feel like an idiot telling them or making a pass.
Ive heard that usually finding a realationship is a combo of things you(meaning myself) making the effort, but also i hear looking for a relationship is not the way to go, but then im worried girls will think im asexual or gay since i wont let my feelings be known or they wont even see me in the possible relationship area. im just confused. what ive been doing to get off my hunger for not having a relationship or much sex is i do art, since all my classes are art classes and go about finding new ways to do art and draw and paint. so my question is do i have to look for a relaitonship or should i just go about my buissness and ignore the possiblities of a relationship and then maybe something will develop with someone?
on the other hand i feel so hungry because ive never had much sex(lost my virignity to a 48 year old woman last year at 22) been shy around women though its improving and never had a gf. im worried sometimes ill live my whole life without ever being with anyone.(i tell myself thats nonsense and not true, but i feel a tingle of jealousy when i hear my friends have potential relaitonships and when i see couples and im all alone. (not feeling sorry for myself by any means) but how do i make these jealous feelings go away and not think in this area? i sometimes feel like i have so much to offer with relationships im a nice guy and sensetive and mature(not bragging about myself) and i have a big dick and good sex drive, and i watch porn at night because i cant have real sex, and i want to make sure me watching porn dosent become and addicton because sexually i havent been successful.
Ive heard that usually finding a realationship is a combo of things you(meaning myself) making the effort, but also i hear looking for a relationship is not the way to go, but then im worried girls will think im asexual or gay since i wont let my feelings be known or they wont even see me in the possible relationship area. im just confused. what ive been doing to get off my hunger for not having a relationship or much sex is i do art, since all my classes are art classes and go about finding new ways to do art and draw and paint. so my question is do i have to look for a relaitonship or should i just go about my buissness and ignore the possiblities of a relationship and then maybe something will develop with someone?
on the other hand i feel so hungry because ive never had much sex(lost my virignity to a 48 year old woman last year at 22) been shy around women though its improving and never had a gf. im worried sometimes ill live my whole life without ever being with anyone.(i tell myself thats nonsense and not true, but i feel a tingle of jealousy when i hear my friends have potential relaitonships and when i see couples and im all alone. (not feeling sorry for myself by any means) but how do i make these jealous feelings go away and not think in this area? i sometimes feel like i have so much to offer with relationships im a nice guy and sensetive and mature(not bragging about myself) and i have a big dick and good sex drive, and i watch porn at night because i cant have real sex, and i want to make sure me watching porn dosent become and addicton because sexually i havent been successful.
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Comments
Looking at this from a female point of view, there is nothing wrong with actively looking for relationship or with ignoring the possibilties. The problem is striking the right balance. If you go all out and announce that you have feelings for the women in your semester, you may be rejected. Whereas, if you ignore them, as you rightly point out, they might just think (for whatever reason) you aren't interested. So, without declaring any particular interest, your best bet is just to be generally nice and, may be, just a bit more forward with the women you find attractive. Invite them (individually) for a drink after class (you're 23, right?) or suggest an evening out as a group or a weekend BBQ (or a picnic in the park if, like me, you don't have outside space).
If the women in the class see you as an intelligent, outgoing and sociable person, it wont be long until you notice one or two taking a special interest ...
good approach and glad a female responded,i will go about my buissness and be nice and be suddle about my feelings but still let them know i have intrest.
things are getting better these days, i started school a few weeks ago and what i diidnt realize is i have women friends from last semester and theyre all in my art classes this semester so im at least meeting more women. and i figure right now its just good to focus on my goal which is getting into art school and getting an internship job and im going to karaoke bars with friends at night and ive eyed a few women who look back at me, nothings happened, but i feel thats a postive first step and im better at talking to women, still a little hard but getting better, and i feel its good to be friendly to women but also to be a little ambigous about just diving into a relaitonship and getting to know people and not let every fact of you come out, because ive been told women dont like desprete people so im trying to keep myself occupied rather then focus ona realtionship, i figure im doing better then i was and hopefully the rest will follow, but thank you for your postive feedback really helped.