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Can't Get Over My Ex After Years
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
When I was 18 I met a guy, he was 17. We got together after a couple of months and were together almost a year. I ended it with him because I felt he would be happier with someone else... I really, really hurt him and it killed me to end it with him;
I didn't want to end things but I felt I was too annoying, pathetic and boring (I prefer to stay in most nights, he likes nights in too but also days out, cycling, running, etc, whereas I have a social anxiety disorder - he didn't know this - and it takes me so much time to go out in my little village where I live, let alone meeting lots of new people and going to strange new places).
So I felt in the long-term, after the hurt, he would move on and find someone else, and I might be happy with that. He was fun/immature at the time, in retrospect a good thing, but I couldn't see him wanting to commit to me.
We stayed friends for a few years, but then had a big row, and during those few years (at the start) he still wanted me, but it took me several years to realise I still wanted him, but it was too late, he'd moved on.... He met a guy about 18 months ago, moved in about six months ago, and I just found out half an hour ago that on Friday they got married (civil partnership).
I am crushed. It hurts so much but no-one, friends or family know I still love him and miss him after all these years.... I feel that I have wasted my life thinking I knew best to break up with him, and that it could be me settled down with him now...... if we were still together, it would be eight years in two days time. I can't forget this fact.
I know it sounds like I have lots of my own issues, but I really would just love some advice right now on how to cope with the pain I am feeling, and not being able to tell anyone. I want to burst into tears but I can't because my family would see. I want to talk to someone but no-one knows how I feel. Please help me if you can.
I didn't want to end things but I felt I was too annoying, pathetic and boring (I prefer to stay in most nights, he likes nights in too but also days out, cycling, running, etc, whereas I have a social anxiety disorder - he didn't know this - and it takes me so much time to go out in my little village where I live, let alone meeting lots of new people and going to strange new places).
So I felt in the long-term, after the hurt, he would move on and find someone else, and I might be happy with that. He was fun/immature at the time, in retrospect a good thing, but I couldn't see him wanting to commit to me.
We stayed friends for a few years, but then had a big row, and during those few years (at the start) he still wanted me, but it took me several years to realise I still wanted him, but it was too late, he'd moved on.... He met a guy about 18 months ago, moved in about six months ago, and I just found out half an hour ago that on Friday they got married (civil partnership).
I am crushed. It hurts so much but no-one, friends or family know I still love him and miss him after all these years.... I feel that I have wasted my life thinking I knew best to break up with him, and that it could be me settled down with him now...... if we were still together, it would be eight years in two days time. I can't forget this fact.
I know it sounds like I have lots of my own issues, but I really would just love some advice right now on how to cope with the pain I am feeling, and not being able to tell anyone. I want to burst into tears but I can't because my family would see. I want to talk to someone but no-one knows how I feel. Please help me if you can.
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