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History With Best Friend? Can It Ever Be The Same?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi Guys,
Do u think once friends do anything that is consided more than friends, could the friendship ever be the same again?
About three years ago me and my best friend who is a guy kissed, at the time I really liked him, he didnt feel the same way and i fell in love with him (well i think i did) nothing happened for months and months and just when I had started to get over what happened, we had this experinace where we had a bit of foreplay but didnt really get any further than that but after this I was back to sqaure one and started feeling for him again..............anyway 3 years have passed and a lot has changed. This is kinda embarrsing for me to admit but my friend came out as gay about a year ago, at the time I still had feelings for him and it was quite difficult for me to come to terms with as you can imagine.
I wouldnt say that I feel exactly the same way now, I mean now I totally accept that he is gay, but i think i will always care about him and love him but not in a romantic way.
The problem is that our friendship is so bloody complicated and I think it has since this things happened three years ago. For example once every few weeks or so we will have this arguements........he has another friend who i am also friends with and they started hanging out and not inviting me and this used to upset me and he used to feel like he was in a relationship becuase he would feel bad for not inviting me.
Lately our arguements have gotten a lot worse. All i want is it not to be like this and to get our friendship back to what it was three years ago where it would be all chilled out and we would go and out and have a laugh without all these complications all the time. But i dont know if it ever could??? xxx
Do u think once friends do anything that is consided more than friends, could the friendship ever be the same again?
About three years ago me and my best friend who is a guy kissed, at the time I really liked him, he didnt feel the same way and i fell in love with him (well i think i did) nothing happened for months and months and just when I had started to get over what happened, we had this experinace where we had a bit of foreplay but didnt really get any further than that but after this I was back to sqaure one and started feeling for him again..............anyway 3 years have passed and a lot has changed. This is kinda embarrsing for me to admit but my friend came out as gay about a year ago, at the time I still had feelings for him and it was quite difficult for me to come to terms with as you can imagine.
I wouldnt say that I feel exactly the same way now, I mean now I totally accept that he is gay, but i think i will always care about him and love him but not in a romantic way.
The problem is that our friendship is so bloody complicated and I think it has since this things happened three years ago. For example once every few weeks or so we will have this arguements........he has another friend who i am also friends with and they started hanging out and not inviting me and this used to upset me and he used to feel like he was in a relationship becuase he would feel bad for not inviting me.
Lately our arguements have gotten a lot worse. All i want is it not to be like this and to get our friendship back to what it was three years ago where it would be all chilled out and we would go and out and have a laugh without all these complications all the time. But i dont know if it ever could??? xxx
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Comments
Friendships are hard, especially when certain things change throughout the years, such as the incident three years ago, and such as him telling you he was gay. Communication (applies for friendships as well) is very important in all types of relationships, therefore, the best thing to do here is speak to him openly about how you feel. You might be surprised by his own reasons for feeling differently or acting differently.
Hope this helps,
Good luck