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planning to have it

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
planning on having sex with the guy I hate what should I do?
should I have sex with him or not if I don't hes gonna threten me
im confused in this totally confused world :crying:
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he threatens you, call the police. Simple.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I could do that, but getting adults involved is like sayinf erm... Get lost to him although if I do I'll be in shit by the time I die.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He is threatening violence and / or sexual assault on you if you don't do what he says. You need to appreciate the gravity of that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do, do what he says though
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And what's to stop him doing it to someone else? I can imagine how hard this is for you, but you know as well as I do, that getting the police involved is the only way to stop this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you call the police he wont be able to threaten you anymore.

    You should only do what you want to do and should never be pressured to do something you dont want to. Make a note of the time, date, and what he says to you and show it to the police, also keeping any threatening texts he sends you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would rather do it with him, tellign a adult seems like so hard for me I feel as though I may not be able to do anything about it :(

    Well todays the night I hope I know what I'm doing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For the love of God don't do it. For fuck's sake, he cannot be allowed to bully people into sex and threaten them if they say no.

    Telling an adult is hard, but it's the only way to stop this from happening. You do not have to do this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Believe me, you'll regret it if you do it. More than you would regret telling someone. Telling us on here was a brave step but now you need to tell someone closer to you. A parent, family member, friend, and most importantly, the police.

    You dont have to do this
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you don't want to do anything then don't. As the others have suggested, you need to tell an adult what is happening here.

    The guy's approach is actually a crime.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would rather do it with him, tellign a adult seems like so hard for me I feel as though I may not be able to do anything about it :(

    Well todays the night I hope I know what I'm doing.

    you need to get the police involved or tell someone

    you shouldn't haft to do anything you dont want to do
    dont do it and if you can keep away from him as what you said hes dangerous and he could harm you badly
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey tish_tash,

    Really sorry to hear what you're going through :( As others have rightly said, no man ever has the right to put you in a situation where you feel pressured and threatened into doing something you don't want to do. He would be committing a criminal offense if he forced you to have sex with him.

    It's your body, you own it, no one else. In a happy and healthy relationship your partner should respect that. You should never have to do anything that you don't consent to and planning to have sex with someone should be about feeling ready to be intimate and feeling safe with that person.

    It doesn't sound like he makes you feel safe or that you are planning this for the right reasons. Please do try and talk to someone about this, if not an adult then a close friend or someone that you trust, maybe a teacher or another family member? You don't have to go through this on your own and there's only so much we can offer you here by way of support.

    If you prefer to speak to someone that you don't know then you can call a helpline line like Supportline - they offer confidential emotional support for children and young adults over the phone and by email and their advisors will be friendly and ready to listen to you :)

    Take care of yourself *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How old are you tish_tash? And how old is this guy who is bullying you?

    You don't sound mature enough to be considering having sex with anyone, particularly someone you hate! Leaving aside that the legal age of consent is 16, if you don't want sex and say so, any physical advances from this guy amount to sexual assault, which is a criminal offense. You really must involve an adult. There really isn't much other advice we can give you ... apart from DON'T DO IT!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    first he is not bullying me and if you read my intro you would of seen my age I am 16 and he is 19 but he is mega cute to.

    And his parents have taken him out for differ today so e said he might do it tomorrow instead and then I got my parents involved I'm going to london for a few days and coming back soon.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    first he is not bullying me

    How is he not bullying you?? Forcing you to hav sex with him and if you dont then he'll hurt you. Sounds like bullying to me. And being cute is no excuse for it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't get bullied I'm to cool and it does matter how cute he is, sorry but i am me. i'm not having it with him I have a fw days and ive planned it out going to london and everything we will be going over tomoorrow morning at 6
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know what else to say except :no: :banghead:

    Somebody help me out
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't say anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Youve just been saying that you hate him and scared of him threatening you. Now suddenly its all cool and ok because he's cute. I think a recurring poster has appeared again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No I don't want to go out with him I want to dump him yes, and I can't so I have got people involved such as my mom and dad they said we would move away, but I don't want to because I have friends here.

    I'll just tell the lad I'm going out with another lad and I'll even prove it by showing him pictures do you think it would work?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    first he is not bullying me

    You said he would 'threaten' you. That's bullying.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ohh is it. :S, I've never expierianced bullying in my life. Isn't bullying name calling and everything?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesnt have to be. And the fact that you're not happy with what he's doing is enough. You are the only one who can decide how your life goes and if you're not happy with it, then you need to change whatever it is that makes you unhappy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From here:

    Bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person.
    Some of the ways they bully other people are by: calling them names, saying or writing nasty things about them, leaving them out of activities, not talking to them, threatening them, making them feel uncomfortable or scared, taking or damaging their things, hitting or kicking them, or making them do things they don't want to do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    I think a recurring poster has appeared again.

    My thoughts exactly. Coathanger suggested as much in P&D.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My thoughts exactly. Coathanger suggested as much in P&D.
    Aye, that's pretty much why I've been avoiding this thread. Cba banging my head against brick walls.

    It's the same writing style and general content so :yes:.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    first he is not bullying me and if you read my intro you would of seen my age I am 16 and he is 19 but he is mega cute to.

    And his parents have taken him out for differ today so e said he might do it tomorrow instead and then I got my parents involved I'm going to london for a few days and coming back soon.

    16? I don't think so ... :eek2:

    From the P&D thread :
    But studing is so not me if we were studyoing fashin then that would be coolioooo
    I don't know where studying bangladesh and debateing they go round with fire and big fukin gangs and to answer broken angels quesion is because me dad does some thing that involves politivs so made me fukin take it.
    It's not a subjeck you learn in english schools, its politice it's a subject many poeople have to study.

    If you are 16 and living (and working?) in London, the British education system has failed you horribly. I would ask for a refund!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok. And I don't think you really understood me. I'm in year 11 and I am not working I have only just arrived at london, after being in merseyside. And why would you ask for a refund?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    first he is not bullying me and if you read my intro you would of seen my age I am 16 and he is 19 but he is mega cute to.

    And his parents have taken him out for differ today so e said he might do it tomorrow instead and then I got my parents involved I'm going to london for a few days and coming back soon.

    Hi. You didn't mention your, or his age in your first post. The previous posters were right to show concern.

    Hope it all turns out ok!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok. And I don't think you really understood me. I'm in year 11 and I am not working I have only just arrived at london, after being in merseyside. And why would you ask for a refund?

    May I remind you that you directed me to your intro message, where you say you are working with Cookoo Fashion. For a 16 year old in year 11, you come across as very immature and illiterate in some (but not all) of your posts - including some (but not all) messages in this thread. Hence my comment about the school system having failed you. But your style varies from post to post, thread to thread and forum to forum. To the uneducated eye, it might appear that though two or three people are using this account ...
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