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Scared and Lonely
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have suffered from depression since i was about 12, when i was 18 i tried to kill myself, and i decided that i would never allow myself to feel that low again, before i got to this stage again i would go to the doctors. So from then on i have gone to the docs and taking medication and seen councillors it had been ok until now!
I have been of work for 2 months with depression now (the first time i have ever had time or work for it) i have been taking medication and seeing a councillor. But this time its just getting worse and worse, i have i dont care attitude, i dont care if i was dead or if i lost a limb etc.
Because i used to self harm i am finding it hard to fight it, its getting harder and harder each day. I have also been having thoughts of killing myself again. I have even been imagining my funeral, i am find it hard to fight that too. I dont want to be on my own because i dont trust myself, but i dont want to be around anyone either.
I have hardly eatin in 3 days, i sleep all the time and its not because i am tired it is because when i am asleep its the only time i dont feel the way i do.
I dont expect a replie i am just ranting sorry its so long
I have been of work for 2 months with depression now (the first time i have ever had time or work for it) i have been taking medication and seeing a councillor. But this time its just getting worse and worse, i have i dont care attitude, i dont care if i was dead or if i lost a limb etc.
Because i used to self harm i am finding it hard to fight it, its getting harder and harder each day. I have also been having thoughts of killing myself again. I have even been imagining my funeral, i am find it hard to fight that too. I dont want to be on my own because i dont trust myself, but i dont want to be around anyone either.
I have hardly eatin in 3 days, i sleep all the time and its not because i am tired it is because when i am asleep its the only time i dont feel the way i do.
I dont expect a replie i am just ranting sorry its so long
0
Comments
first off sorry to hear you are feeling so low.
do you have any idea as to why you are having suicidal thoughts again? it must be tough to not know who to talk to, expecially when you don't feel comfortable around others.
have you thought about giving the Samaritans a call or e-mail if you don't want to talk?
(In the UK dial 08457 90 90 90. In the Republic of Ireland dial 1850 60 90 90. e-mail jo@samaritans.org)
they'd be the best at working things through with you and they are there 24/7.
keep talking on here though because its a safe place and i'm sure everyone would be willing to support you through a difficult time.
A x*hug*
This site has many uses and ranting is as good as any other. No need to appologise over your thread