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How to go about getting diagnosed for depression?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So, I've always thought that I had some symptoms of depression, and i wanted to know how do i go about finding out if i actually have depression? And would my mum need to know as im only 17?
My mum is the main reason for my depression i think.....And i feel so guilty blaming her, because she provides for me, has so many problems of her own, but she hardly shows any love towards me. She will go out of her way to put me down, she will make me feel terrible about small things, making out that im lazy, that i dont do anything. I have a weekend job and do around 16 hours a week, when theres a holiday I grab any shifts going as I need the money, i sell Avon on the side for extra money and go to college Monday - Thursday, I have fridays off, but I go in sometimes to do some work. Im trying to keep up with college work outside as I have a major project which depends if i get into uni, but its so hard to keep up with it when my mum makes me feel bad that I havnt sat with her for abit, even though she hardly engages in any conversation with me, but because i sat and watch TV with her, she will then make me feel bad that I havnt done any work, and if i do work (like tonight) she will go out of her way to make me feel bad that I havnt given more Avon books out.
I dont know what to do anymore, when I write this out i feel like im over reacting, but when someones coming at you everyday saying this stuff, putting you down, going out of their way to make you feel like crap :crying:. And what gets me even down is that when we have company, she is as nice as pie to me, she goes on about how im "a little trooper" for doing the hours that i do at work, she bigs me up. But when they leave shes so cold to me, its so hard to engage her in a conversation with me, she litterally has nothing to say to me.
It feels like im living with a bully, dont get me wrong, she doesnt do anything physical, its more emotionally. The way she actually goes out of her way to put me or my brother down, she brings me to tears so many times, sometimes she doesnt feel like a mother, why would a mother make her daughter feel this way? :crying: And then i think about my boyfriends parents, they make me feel more loved and welcome in their home than I ever have in my own.....Just thinking about it makes me upset now....I dont have alot of happy memories with my mum, the more vivd ones of us are having nasty arguments over stupid things where it ends up with my mum calling me names (this has only happened a couple of times).
I do Art at college, and its what im doing at uni, and im aware that one of the symptons is that you loose interested in the things you are passionate about, thankfully this hasnt happened yet, but im scared of loosing my passion for Art, I love how I can get lost in the things that I make or design, one of my few outlets to get away from things...im worried about loosing interest in my work....
Im worried about going about being diagnosed with it, as i wouldnt want my mum to know that im getting help for it, it would raise to many upsetting issues, and she would probally say things like "You dont have any of the pressure that I have, if anyone should be on Anti-Depressants, its me blah blah blah"
Arghh :crying: I feel stupid saying all of this....
My mum is the main reason for my depression i think.....And i feel so guilty blaming her, because she provides for me, has so many problems of her own, but she hardly shows any love towards me. She will go out of her way to put me down, she will make me feel terrible about small things, making out that im lazy, that i dont do anything. I have a weekend job and do around 16 hours a week, when theres a holiday I grab any shifts going as I need the money, i sell Avon on the side for extra money and go to college Monday - Thursday, I have fridays off, but I go in sometimes to do some work. Im trying to keep up with college work outside as I have a major project which depends if i get into uni, but its so hard to keep up with it when my mum makes me feel bad that I havnt sat with her for abit, even though she hardly engages in any conversation with me, but because i sat and watch TV with her, she will then make me feel bad that I havnt done any work, and if i do work (like tonight) she will go out of her way to make me feel bad that I havnt given more Avon books out.
I dont know what to do anymore, when I write this out i feel like im over reacting, but when someones coming at you everyday saying this stuff, putting you down, going out of their way to make you feel like crap :crying:. And what gets me even down is that when we have company, she is as nice as pie to me, she goes on about how im "a little trooper" for doing the hours that i do at work, she bigs me up. But when they leave shes so cold to me, its so hard to engage her in a conversation with me, she litterally has nothing to say to me.
It feels like im living with a bully, dont get me wrong, she doesnt do anything physical, its more emotionally. The way she actually goes out of her way to put me or my brother down, she brings me to tears so many times, sometimes she doesnt feel like a mother, why would a mother make her daughter feel this way? :crying: And then i think about my boyfriends parents, they make me feel more loved and welcome in their home than I ever have in my own.....Just thinking about it makes me upset now....I dont have alot of happy memories with my mum, the more vivd ones of us are having nasty arguments over stupid things where it ends up with my mum calling me names (this has only happened a couple of times).
I do Art at college, and its what im doing at uni, and im aware that one of the symptons is that you loose interested in the things you are passionate about, thankfully this hasnt happened yet, but im scared of loosing my passion for Art, I love how I can get lost in the things that I make or design, one of my few outlets to get away from things...im worried about loosing interest in my work....
Im worried about going about being diagnosed with it, as i wouldnt want my mum to know that im getting help for it, it would raise to many upsetting issues, and she would probally say things like "You dont have any of the pressure that I have, if anyone should be on Anti-Depressants, its me blah blah blah"
Arghh :crying: I feel stupid saying all of this....
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Comments
G.P. first then you'll hopefully get a referal to a psychiatric team for an exact diagnosis.
No, you're mum will not be told.
That all seems quite overwhelming
Perhaps there's something that you do that you know annoys her? Like, when I stopped leaving dirty dishes around, my relaionship with my mum improved hugely. Is there something like that?
And, is there something you would like your mum to do, just one thing? Perhaps you would like it if you had a cuddle every evening when you got in and had a five min chat about your day together? Or you would like it if when she made a cup of tea, she made you one too?
Soetimes doing little things can make big inroads towards a better relationship.
Interesting that, only I was diagnosed last year and not referred to anyone else. I am now though, but that's a whole other kettle of fish.
To the OP, I made an appointment with my GP and told them how I was feeling and they got me to fill in a little questionnaire and then said that if I was happy to try it they'd prescribe me ADs and they gave me the lowest dosage and only a fortnight's worth so that I had to come back and review the situation with them. Whatever happens, good luck
I am inclined to agree. Kids have pressures on them sexually, socially and academically that we never used to have, but the things you mention look pretty normal to me. Have you had the "you treat this house like a hotel" speech yet? I knew I was "over the hill" when I heard myself reciting this to my 19-year-old stepson. My mother used it on me when I was 18, and found me somewhere else to live (with friends of friends, but it didn't exactly make me feel loved and wanted)! That's just the way things are. You are growing up and I guarantee that you will treat your kids the same way. Hang in there. One's parents are precious and they love you .... however, f***ing irritating they are at times. :thumb:
Load of crap
Are you kidding?
When I was diagnosed with depression it was like a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders - I knew what the demon was that I had to fight. I read up on everything I could about it; Buddhist approaches, hypno-psychotherapy, CBT..... and I felt like I had some power back in my life. I kjnew what I had to work on and I knew there were approaches that I could use to over come it. Sure, it took 18 months to get out the other side, but it was a hell of a lot better than waking up in the morning and crawling back under the duvet in the dark all day long, wondering why the hell I felt like the physical manifestation of sadness.
And drugs being the only thing to make it go away? Screw that - yes, anti-depressants do make things easier for people, and for a lot of people it's the drugs that swing it. But they are absolutely not the only option and GPs need a kick in the teeth if it's their only response to depression. Unfortunately, like with many mental health issues, it's the first place they turn. However, CBT is highly effective and widely available on the NHS, and GPs will know of local counselling and support services in their area.
Now, whether the OP has depression or not, I don't know. It does sound more like a tough relationship with her mum than depression, but it's not for us to judge that. She didn't ask if we thought she had depression. She asked how to find out if she was depressed or not, and the answer is to go to your GP.
Sorry if that seems a bit of a rant, it just got my back up a bit.
'when someones coming at you everyday saying this stuff, putting you down, going out of their way to make you feel like crap'
really struck a cord with me. My mother was exactly the same. Quite frankly she was a cunt and i'm not too bothered the bitch is dead. She seemed to almost delight in ridiculing me in front of as many people as she could as often as she could. If i did well at school/college she didn't give a fuck but as soon as i did something wrong she'd be down on it like lightning. It's fucked me up (mentally) even now and i really don't want to see someone else go through it.
What i suggest you do, is go see your GP (maybe take a friend who knows the situation) and try and get a referal to a counselling service, though this can take some time. You could try looking around for self-help groups. I think organisations like MIND might be helpful.
Just having someone unconnected to the situation that you can talk to can be a massive help, knowing that what you say isn't going to get back to the person invovled, your mum.
Ultimately you're going to have to confront her over her behaviour because it has to stop and maybe someone you get to see can come up ideas of how best to do this.
You might need to ask for this. The first time I was referred to a CPN - she was more concerned with what I was doing in September. (Due to physical & MH problems, I took a year out)
The second time I was referred to counselling - this is despite me saying before that it doesn't help me.
The thing is, about a year and a half ago - i wouldnt say it was a breakdown, but it wasnt far off - she had abit of a "breakdown" where my brother and me got the brunt of it, i was called a bitch because she stood on my toe and i said "friggin hell" in front of some people (I wasnt saying it at her i was saying it because it was quite painful, and i told her that, but she still called me a bitch) she called my brother a little shit, a sod, that she didnt care if he went into care, while i was sat upstaires crying listening to this. It did get sorted out in the end, we all hugged it out, we both helped out and the situation was temporarily fixed, and even though we were helping, she was still saying these sorts of things.....So sometimes i just think fuck it, whats the point in helping if shes still doing this?
And i always try and make conversation, sometimes i get some nice conversation, sometimes i dont, sometimes i just get a "hmmm". Its pot luck really. I've tried....
I've asked cause I dont really know anyone thats diagnosed with depression, and I jsut wanted some input as to what people on here think, and now reading back I think it is more of a touch relationship problem. But thanks for your input Butterfly! I think what im going to do, is wait till I got to uni, if i still feel like the way that i am even though im not around my mum i will get myself down to a GP, if i feel alot better, i know its relationship problems.
Its kinda the same with me, im always showing her what im doing at college, and theres some interest, but not loads, but as soon as i do something bad (which isnt often) shes down on me like a tonne of bricks, guilt tripping me, making the situation 10 times worse than it is! But as i said previously, im going to wait till im at uni and see what happens, im even hoping our relationship will get better, i know my mum never had a good relationship with my gran when they lived together, but they get on better ever since she moved out when she was younger, so we will have too see!
No no no, its very helpful! Its always helps when someone that you know is in the same situation! All of this being referred to different people seems quite scarey and overwhelming at the minute tbh, but im just going to play it out till uni! Thanks!
Again, thanks too everyone who replied!