Frustrations

Former Member

Man,why do people never like to hear your side of the story?
Just been chatting to my mum about how my sisters being a dick at the mo,why shes so immature and same as my brother (17 and 13 respectfully).

So I told her my perspective on what happened to me when I was a kid living there,I had my tv,radio and videos taken away as well as my computer games,my door was taken off the hinges,I got blanked for weeks on end,I always had to apologise for what Id done (Im not saying I was an angel or anything ) but I was never as bad as my brother or sister.

I was rude and cheeky sure,but I never turned round and said "I f`in hate you you piece of sh*t" and loads f other bits like that.

Now,shes stormed off home all pissed off because I told her all that happened to me and nothings ever been done to my siblings like that.

If she doesnt agree with what you say she just stroms off in a huff.....people man.

Former Member

My parents were way stricter with me and my older sister than with my younger sister as well. It's just how it is. Parents get more practice at parenting and times change. If you keep a 13 year old off his/her cell phone and/or facebook nowadays, you might just as well dip them in honey and let them gagged and shackled up under a bridge, having their destiny decided by rats.

Chill out and act in concert with your siblings as much as you can and don't be jealous because you had it harder. See yourself as a more refined and better brought up man (My little sister has NO sense for money whatsoever, while I have my finances in check), and try to influence them for the better.

Former Member

your mum probably stormed off because she realises that mistakes were made...but what can she do to change the past? people rarely like to admit to their mistakes i guess. (also...a tv, radio, video games? lucky thing hehe, i only got my first cd/radio player when we won it in a competition when i was 15! )

Former Member

Parents tend to be more involved in the lives of their oldest child, which usually means they're stricter. The oldest seems to have other advantages though, the reason your parents are stricter is that they really want you to do well. I'm not saying this is how it was for you, but the oldest kid usally gets more help with their homework, is more likely to be taken to after school clubs and things like that. Maybe you had some advantages that your younger siblings didn't that you can focus on?
Either way, it's difficult to change the past. Maybe your parents feel they were too strict with you so they let your siblings get away with more, or maybe they didn't even know that they were like that with you. Parents rarely treat all their children the same, however often they insist that they do.

Former Member

Naturegoddess wrote: »

Parents tend to be more involved in the lives of their oldest child, which usually means they're stricter. The oldest seems to have other advantages though, the reason your parents are stricter is that they really want you to do well. I'm not saying this is how it was for you, but the oldest kid usally gets more help with their homework, is more likely to be taken to after school clubs and things like that. Maybe you had some advantages that your younger siblings didn't that you can focus on?
Either way, it's difficult to change the past. Maybe your parents feel they were too strict with you so they let your siblings get away with more, or maybe they didn't even know that they were like that with you. Parents rarely treat all their children the same, however often they insist that they do.

Totally the other way around for me

Former Member

I think my main frustration is that they wont admit some of the things that were done and said,they completely deny it and make me out to be the liar.
Like when I first wanted to leanr guitar a few years ago....my mum told me I shouldnt bother because "I have no musical talent".

Now I personally think thats bang out of order and I would never dream of saying that to anyone!

Also,because of the way I feel I was punished hard it alienated me from the family,so honestly Im not close to any of them and sadly that means my brothers and sisters too.

I feel angry and let down in all honesty because,no offence to my dad as a person,but I feel I never had a strong male role model to look upto until I lived with my nan and granadad for a few years,which helped me to have someone hardworking,manual labour and someone to generally look upto.

Plus,the way my mum deals with things is to storm off in a huff and not talk to me for ages,like yesterday my brother came round my flat but was told he cant stay long because they were having a bbq at home.........which I wasnt invited to.

Wow,big rant but good to get it all out.Ive been reading a book recently that said to explore and get out all your feelings from childhood and blah blah blah.All good psycho stuff.:D

Former Member

Maybe the reason your mum denies doing certain things is that she really doesn't remember doing it, or that at the time she didn't even know she was doing it.
I think everyone can relate to feeling let down by their parents, although to differing extents. I think part of growing up is seeing your parents as people, and accepting that they're going to make mistakes. I'm sure if you ask your siblings in 5 years they'll tell you that your parents are making different mistakes with them.
It sounds like you've gained something though. From what you've said, you understand the need to work hard, to nurture and encourage people you care about, the importance of communication in resolving problems and, in general, how important it is to always do as well as you can. I know a few people in their forties who haven't learned all of that yet.