First time- Nervous

Former Member

Hi =D

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months, we have been talking and have both decided that we’re both ready to sleep with each other. I am 16 he’s 17. We both feel that we’re ready, the only thing is that I’m a virgin and he’s not, so I feel like he will be comparing me to the other girl he slept with. Naturally I’m nervous and a bit unsure about things, I just want to make sure everything is perfect and special. Any advice on what I can do to make him happy and make sure everything is special.
There’s a few things I’m most nervous about, any ideas on how I can set a good atmosphere, also I don’t want to have ‘dead fish syndrome’ so when he’s on top of me, what’s the best thing to do with my hands…
My friend told me that the first time is shit so I wanna make it as special as it can be lol, she also said that it hurts and that I’m most likely to bleed.

Any advice would be much appreciated

Thanks Ally xx

Former Member

If you are really ready and really relaxed it will hurt less, I think the best way is if you have had an orgasm and if he doesn't 'pound'. Or if you are at least very very aroused. I hope by being ready for sex that you two have got to this stage using other stimulation first?

I wouldn't worry about him comparing you to her, worry more about how you two can try to connect with each other and get a feel of each other. Have you talked about what you are expecting from each other and from the first time you have sex?

Have you sorted out suitable contraception and somewhere you can do it where you will be safe and relaxed?

Your friend is wrong, the first time isn't always shit. You are doing the right thing by asking questions and trying to be prepared. It also helps to have realistic expectations. You two are not going to be doing zen tantric shit your first times together, nobody does. And, the fact that he has slept with someone before doesn't make him experienced, he is probably quite inexperienced too.

Former Member

Thanks

We have talked about it loads and just decided we are really ready so I think I should be quite relaxed . We have talked about what we are expecting.
We have got my house to ourselves all week so we have a place where we will be relaxed and safe and yeah he’s got the contraception sorted.
Think I was just a bit nervous cause he’s slept with someone before, but when I think about he’s probs as inexperienced as me.

Thanks again xx

Former Member

I would recommend going on top for your first time, so you can control the pressure a bit more. I know its a bit alien the first time, but don't be afraid of lube!

Former Member

Thanks

I think i'm a bit less nervous now

Ally xx

Former Member

good luck! and remember the first time is not as important as the first person x

Former Member

you kinda ignored Katralla's question about what you've got up to before - there's no reason to go all the way the first time you play.

I don't know, but it makes sense to me that things will go so much better if - as Katralla hopes - you've found out about how each other's bodies work on other occasions.

Former Member

That would be so exciting doing it for first time.

Former Member

Hmm 16 is still pretty young for sex. In fact I think it is illegal to have sex at 16 in some states in America and I think it is illegal here in the UK too. I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure the legal age is 17 in most places.

Either way though, I don't wanna sound like a graphic perv or something, but as others mentioned, there is lots of stuff to try before having actual sex. You can cuddle and rub each other, fingering, licking, hand jobs, blow jobs, etc. If you aren't in a major hurry, you could go for months doing stuff like this because it's a lot of fun. So that could definitely ease you in to things. And then eventually sex will just be the next logical step and it won't be that big of a step.

But good luck anyway whatever you decide to do. Take your time and do it only when you really really want to do it, and then it will be good.

Former Member

robots wrote: »

Hmm 16 is still pretty young for sex. In fact I think it is illegal to have sex at 16 in some states in America and I think it is illegal here in the UK too. I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure the legal age is 17 in most places.

Either way though, I don't wanna sound like a graphic perv or something, but as others mentioned, there is lots of stuff to try before having actual sex. You can cuddle and rub each other, fingering, licking, hand jobs, blow jobs, etc. If you aren't in a major hurry, you could go for months doing stuff like this because it's a lot of fun. So that could definitely ease you in to things. And then eventually sex will just be the next logical step and it won't be that big of a step.

But good luck anyway whatever you decide to do. Take your time and do it only when you really really want to do it, and then it will be good.

16 isn't really young to have sex. 16 is the legal age.

If you're going to be on bottom, Ally, run your hands over him, and move your legs around him too you won't be a dead fish ;p

Any first time is nerve wracking, but after that, it's just fun!

Good luck! x

Former Member

It is young. Just because it's the minimum legal age in your country doesn't mean it's not young. If you had sex any younger it would be against the law. And even at 16 in South Australia and almost half of the US, it would be breaking the law.

Not that I'm against it or anything, people can do whatever they want. I'm just saying, she needn't rush in to anything if she's not quite ready yet.

Former Member

geneve wrote: »

YOU'VE got to get YOUR contraception sorted as well too you know! If his breaks then you're at risk of STDs and pregnancy, and I don't think anyone wants to have to think about the morning after pill on the first time.

If you think your ready to have sex then you're likely to keep on having sex, which means you might as well think ahead a bit. If you're responsible and ready to take this step then going to the doctors and talking to them about how to protect yourself from pregnancy will be no trouble at all. And won't it be a great show of his commitment if he goes to get himself checked out to make sure he hasn't picked any thing up from his previous encounters.

That'll be the first step to making it perfect at special. The clap and a sprog certainly won't....

Your resident killjoy.

Fucking hell, I agree with geneve *goes outside and checks the colour of the sky and comes back in to check which way round the water is draining*

I think you should sort out your own contraception too. And going together to get him checked for STIs would also be a responsible thing to do.

Former Member

Hiya =D

Yeah we've done stuff before, fingering and blow jobs ect, so we do understand eachother, We are both ready and feel its just the next step to our relationship =D

I'm on the pill so my contraception is sorted, and i'm gonna mention to him about getting checked out first just to be safe.

Ally xx

Former Member

riiight

well everybody else has gone on and on about contraception age blah blah. im 17 and my girlfriend only just turned 17 a few months ago, and we have been going out for about 8 months as well and we're going to sleep together:P so yeah in the same boat but hopefully this reply isn't too late cause i only just saw this post today!
well lets see, setting the atmosphere, it really comes down to foreplay i think if you want that. do it in ur or his bedroom cause it would suck to have ur first time with him in like a forest or something lol. go with some pretty extreme kissing, like properly get in there, start touching him in those hot erotic places :P once you are on the bed, i would take your top off in front of him, slowly and then maybe start off his dry sex or something?
yeah the whole dead fish thing is annoying lol, wrap ur legs around him and use ur hands, kiss him while he's going for it. tell him how good he is while u are doing it. mooostttt likely...the first time u two do it, he is gonna cum first, which annoys the crap out girls eventually but he may eventually learn to make you go wild eventually too :P im not sure what else to say, to be honest, everything i just said there arent like rules or anything , just ideas. oh the bleeding part, yeah theres a small tissue or something i cant remember i read it somewhere thats soppose to rip(ever heard of the phrase "virgin blood"?) and u bleed a little, it might hurt the first time if he goes too hard and stuff but just tell him, and u know..make it special and stuff. enjoy ! x

Former Member

I think the trick is to remember that everyone's different; just relax, chill out, do what feels right for you, and try and focus on his pleasure when you're in pain and your pleasure when it starts to feel good. Keep communication open, talk to him, ask him what he likes, tell him what feels good. If he's a good boyfriend and lover, he will try hard as well to make sure the lines of communication stay open.