Advice for a friend please -kinda urgent

Former Member

A close friend of mine is having some troubles with a girl. He really likes her and she knows that, but he is telling me that he has either to keep loving her and is able to speak to her or get over her and lose her. After him explaining a couple of times that he can't speak to her and get over her i still do not understand.
I think he should talk to her about it but i'm unsure saying this might help. Has anyone else got any ideas of what he could do? Both ways put him through pain (i quote from him just recently) and he wants my advice, but i don't know what to tell him.
Please give me some advice to give back to him, i would appreciate it (:

Former Member

That is really difficult to read.

Former Member

RubberSkin wrote: »

That is really difficult to read.

:yes:

Former Member

It hurts my brain to understand what you're trying to mean.

Former Member

Maybe the guy likes this girl... but he hasn't talked to her yet? and so he wants to either talk to her... or forget about her? hmmm i'm confused also

**helen**

skakitty wrote: »

Maybe the guy likes this girl... but he hasn't talked to her yet? and so he wants to either talk to her... or forget about her? hmmm i'm confused also

:yes: that's what I took from it too :chin:

Is he scared to take a chance and risk getting hurt? I guess if we've understood correctly then lots of people would probably say that he's got nothing to lose by being open and honest with this girl... unless perhaps there's a friendship at stake?

Former Member

I think what he might be trying to say is that he has no hope that a relationship might come out of the situation, and doesn't feel he can be around her without having feelings for her. Sort of the same way as when you break up with someone, to get over them you often need total space to get your head together. So he is trying to decide whether unrequited love is better or worse than not having her in his life at all......?? Maybe?

If I've got it right, the only advice I can give is to be very blunt and choose. Either 'fess up and ask her out (you say she knows he's interested, so it's not like she'll be caught totally out of the blue), or keep quiet and deal with it, but either way, make a decision about how to move forward and stick to it.

Many of the people I've had intense crushes on in the past have become very good friends, for whom I have no romantic feelings at all anymore. If she's someone he admires, respects, and whose company he enjoys, he shouldn't cut her out of his life completely. Things will settle down, especially when the next crush comes along.

PS - If I've totally misunderstood the OP, ignore the above and accept my apologies!

Former Member

Are you meaning he likes her but has to decide whether he can be around her and chat or whether he has to cut all ties and move on?

Indrid Cold

I think they meant that they broke up and she wants to stay friends.

Former Member

Indrid Cold wrote: »

I think they meant that they broke up and she wants to stay friends.

Whatever. Pity the OP hasn't seen fit to shed any light.

Former Member

I think what the OP meant was that her friend is in love with a girl he cant have, but cant decide "Do I keep speaking to her, hurting because I love her and cant have her?" or "Do I cut all ties to stop the hurting and dont speak to her again, thus losing her"

I may be wrong however. Its just how I saw it.