If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Please Help!!!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, my husband has just lef tme after 32 years of marriage, and I am devastated, and dont know what to do.
Approx 9 weeks ago I found he had been on sex and chat lines and when I confronted him about it, he told me that he had been in a loveless marriage for a long time, although there was no sign of this before he got caught.
Anyway we decided to live together as lodgers, but then he started going out and not coming home and the sex chat didnt stop, this was very difficult and I couldnt cope with this, he went missing on easter sunday went out at midday and came home that 1.30am the next morning telling me he had met someone and went back for coffee and forgot the time, please, the next day I found a condom in his bedroom, anyway it all come to head this Monday when he went out to the gym and have a hair cut and didnt come home, so I left many messages on his phone but he refused to speak and the next day he sent me a text tellng me that he will not be told what and when he can do what he wants.
He stayed with her for 2 days then on Wednesday turned up at our middle daughters house, to stay there until he moves into his stuido place on 1st May, but every opportinity he has he goes off to his 'friends' that what he calls them, and stays for a couple of days, which he is doing this weekend, my daughter is very accepting of this, as he has told her he has his own life now, our other 2 children, older and younger, although all grown up refuse to have anything to do with him and have since this happened 9 weeks ago, they think I should hate him too, and thats the problem, I just cant seem to move on, I think about him 24/7, and how he is with her and how nice he can be, and its eatng me away, and its driving my children mad, as I cry al the time, and cant eat or sleep, in fact have dropped 3 dress sizes, although not a bad thing, but I just dont know how to cope wit this, I am very fortunate because I have so many friends and family behind me, lots, but he has no one just our daughter and baby grandson, and thats it, even his own brother doesnt want to know him, but it seems that all he thinks about is these 2 women he has in his life, he has told our daughter that he is having lots of fun and enjoying it, as they listen to him and respond and want to be with him, this is just so hurtful and the pain I feel is immense, and to top all this our daughter is due to get married at the end of May in our friends villa in Majorca and I dont think I can cope with all this, and my eldest daughter and i are due to move next week, he was coming with us, but not now obviously, so its all so upsetting and I dont know how to move on from this, please can someone help me
Approx 9 weeks ago I found he had been on sex and chat lines and when I confronted him about it, he told me that he had been in a loveless marriage for a long time, although there was no sign of this before he got caught.
Anyway we decided to live together as lodgers, but then he started going out and not coming home and the sex chat didnt stop, this was very difficult and I couldnt cope with this, he went missing on easter sunday went out at midday and came home that 1.30am the next morning telling me he had met someone and went back for coffee and forgot the time, please, the next day I found a condom in his bedroom, anyway it all come to head this Monday when he went out to the gym and have a hair cut and didnt come home, so I left many messages on his phone but he refused to speak and the next day he sent me a text tellng me that he will not be told what and when he can do what he wants.
He stayed with her for 2 days then on Wednesday turned up at our middle daughters house, to stay there until he moves into his stuido place on 1st May, but every opportinity he has he goes off to his 'friends' that what he calls them, and stays for a couple of days, which he is doing this weekend, my daughter is very accepting of this, as he has told her he has his own life now, our other 2 children, older and younger, although all grown up refuse to have anything to do with him and have since this happened 9 weeks ago, they think I should hate him too, and thats the problem, I just cant seem to move on, I think about him 24/7, and how he is with her and how nice he can be, and its eatng me away, and its driving my children mad, as I cry al the time, and cant eat or sleep, in fact have dropped 3 dress sizes, although not a bad thing, but I just dont know how to cope wit this, I am very fortunate because I have so many friends and family behind me, lots, but he has no one just our daughter and baby grandson, and thats it, even his own brother doesnt want to know him, but it seems that all he thinks about is these 2 women he has in his life, he has told our daughter that he is having lots of fun and enjoying it, as they listen to him and respond and want to be with him, this is just so hurtful and the pain I feel is immense, and to top all this our daughter is due to get married at the end of May in our friends villa in Majorca and I dont think I can cope with all this, and my eldest daughter and i are due to move next week, he was coming with us, but not now obviously, so its all so upsetting and I dont know how to move on from this, please can someone help me
0
Comments
Sounds like your husband is making a bit of a fool of himself and that the majority of the family are behind you, which must be some comfort. It is natural that you feel the way you do. But, for the time being, I think you just need to channel your energy into the move and your daughter's wedding (you don't say which daughter). Let your husband do his thing. Keep yourself busy. Try not to obsess about his every move. Pretend to be completely disinterested - even if it is hard to do. Good luck.