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really frustrated
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
after numerous appointments with the mental health team, a 3 day in patient stay arranged by the crisis team and lots of appointments with the gp there is still no diagnosis for my boyfriend. his stay in hospital was over a month ago now and it took quite a lot (mainly on my part) to encourage him to stay there. i've had to take the flack from my boyfriend for speaking my mind on numerous occassions to medical professionals. at the time these medical people seem nice and like they are actually going to do something but then...
my biggest issue is that when he left hospital he was prescribed anti-psychotics despite being given no diagnosis or even an indication of why he is being prescribed this. now for any healthy person this would be aggravating and you would probably think why bother? so understandably for a person (possibly) suffering from schizophrenia and being pretty distrustful the why bother way of thinking is pretty high.
i am just so frustrated by everything. because of confidentiality most of these people are pretty brief when speaking to me anyway and when i asked the mental health team nurse about a diagnosis i was told to ask my boyfriend. helpful. what they seem unwilling to understand is that i am here to support him and if he is unwell (which i think clearly he is) then he isnt in the best position to 1) accept a diagnosis and 2) explain it to me.
i dont want to go into details because i feel guilty enough posting about this on here but the only way for us to get a decent diagnosis and for him to get the care he needs is to go private. which of course will cost a bundle.
exapserated? me? :crying:
the most frustrating thing is if he is schizphrenic or just having an episode he needs to be told this in a straightforward way and directly. i can tell him my opinion on his health as much as i want but he isnt going to ever take me seriously. if he is told and then we are told we can take steps in how to handle it and be ready. together. as it is nothing is happening.
if he is schizophrenic then yes it's a big shit on our relationship/future/future dog everything i ever wanted with him. but at least i'd know the shit is there and can address said shit. been in limbo for about 6 months and obviously loving every second.
my biggest issue is that when he left hospital he was prescribed anti-psychotics despite being given no diagnosis or even an indication of why he is being prescribed this. now for any healthy person this would be aggravating and you would probably think why bother? so understandably for a person (possibly) suffering from schizophrenia and being pretty distrustful the why bother way of thinking is pretty high.
i am just so frustrated by everything. because of confidentiality most of these people are pretty brief when speaking to me anyway and when i asked the mental health team nurse about a diagnosis i was told to ask my boyfriend. helpful. what they seem unwilling to understand is that i am here to support him and if he is unwell (which i think clearly he is) then he isnt in the best position to 1) accept a diagnosis and 2) explain it to me.
i dont want to go into details because i feel guilty enough posting about this on here but the only way for us to get a decent diagnosis and for him to get the care he needs is to go private. which of course will cost a bundle.
exapserated? me? :crying:
the most frustrating thing is if he is schizphrenic or just having an episode he needs to be told this in a straightforward way and directly. i can tell him my opinion on his health as much as i want but he isnt going to ever take me seriously. if he is told and then we are told we can take steps in how to handle it and be ready. together. as it is nothing is happening.
if he is schizophrenic then yes it's a big shit on our relationship/future/future dog everything i ever wanted with him. but at least i'd know the shit is there and can address said shit. been in limbo for about 6 months and obviously loving every second.
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How is everyone else rallying around, his Dad etc?
*hugs*
his family are rallying around and thinking about going private because the nhs where he lives have just been terrible. we were also thinking of going to his hometown of derry where most of his family live to test out living together this summer. it was my boyfriend who propositioned this idea and i think it's great in comparison to staying in a part of england where he doesnt know anyone and knowing that i could get involved with charity work in derry too because his dad is involved in it. everything seemed perfect. but his moods constantly change and now he is determined to fight the university for his 'rights'.
bg i've been to tons of appointments with him and they seem like they want the best and are going to do this and that and seem to really have taken what i've had to say on board but never really do.
i have my cbt today. not looking forward to it. i have a feeling she's gonna tell me im not in the right frame of mind for cbt so cant do it or see her.
Good luck with the CBT.
x
Yup, this.
I was given low-dose ADs to help me sleep even when I was on other ones for other things. It's all about what they think is best.
And honestly? Even if you don't understand the reason they give, if it means he'll take them I would just let it go.
he isnt taking them because he doesnt think he needs them as the reasons he is being given them hasnt been explained at all.
the first time he was given anti-psychotics the nurse actually said 'just take them if you feel the need to'. as a nurse she should know that part of the parcel with schizophrenics is that they think they dont have a problem- just a 'heightened awareness' so why is he gonna take them?
While on the one hand, it would be useful for him to have it impressed upon him from someone with authoritythat he is unwell if that would then mean that he would take tablets that would help him. On the other hand, I can understand why the professioanls don't want to give him a label, especially before they're sure, and because I think sometimes these words can make things seem like a sentence.
This might seem like a horrible question but, you are young and this relationship seems like a lot of effort and heart ache for you, is it really worth it?
Anyway, what are you going to do about your CBT? Perhaps you could have a bath to relax and go over whatever homework or some techniques they've given you in preparation?
That could well be one of the reasons you don't have a diagnosis as such. Not that that is necessarily of much help to you if your boyfriend isn't taking medication he's been recommended. Even if it doesn't come with a diagnosis, it sounds like he could do with someone to sit down and explain how the medication could help him as in the complication of seeing lots of people it sounds like that has passed him by.
Don't forget, you are so much more use to him when you are well yourself, so don't be afraid to step back when you can to get yourself some me time and look after your own mental health.
He thinks that he didnt really need to be there in the first place and that it's just slowing the process with the university down. Sometimes he blames me for being straight with the drs but recently he's been saying that he knows that I'm looking out for him.
Yeah I want to stay with him. I'll avoid the horribly mushy stuff but the mush is definitely there for me to want to be with him. It's just tough, but I think the reason why it's so tough is because it feels like limbo.
CBT went okay today. I had it at 2pm and told her everything including that horrible night I self harmed. We're going to be concentrating on my depressive thoughts now rather than my anxiety because I think we worked out my anxiety is just a cause of my low moods. I fill in questionnaires in too before each appointment so I'm able to compare my moods and see what causes them. Sometimes it's a bit excruciating because I can almost guess the advice that she is going to say because I would say something like that to someone. But I find it really hard to apply good advice to myself.
Scary Monster- thanks I didnt know that. I have the number for someone from the mental health team so will give her a ring this week- I feel like she's the only one who seems professional and to the point when speaking to me. I'm going to put forward that my boyfriend needs clarity when taking meds like you say, even if it isnt a diagnosis but he needs a reason for taking it.
x
my boyfriend said that if his uni (the one that rejected me) let him resume his teacher training course next year that he will have to do it.
he wants me to support him but i cant see us being happy there together because
- he lives in a shared house with his landlord who is the most loveliest man ever but is hard of hearing so has the tv loud so even if i had got into that uni i probably wouldnt have been able to get any work done.
- my boyfriend is pretty isolated living there and hasnt been able to make any friends since getting chucked off his course. no opportunity for me to make friends from his friends or anything. there is no one we know there.
i just know that our relationship would crumble. i know how selfish it would be to ask him to not take his place if he is offered it but i have a feeling it's going to reach that ultimatum anyway.
no idea where im g oing. supposed to be studying tonight but has just knocked me down now. meant to be meeting a friend in london but i might just disconnect my phone because i cant handle it. i have too much work to do and cant sit crying through an essay on stupid gertrude stein.
x