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Female pleasure.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Is it weird that I let my boyfriend stroke me down there? I just wish he did it more. He always fingers me, but I get really turned on when he rubs my clit. How can I let him know that? He went down on me for the first time the other day and he was using his fingers as well as his tongue. I was just lying there with my legs open under the covers and he went right by my feet and just pleasured me, it was amazing. But I felt ashamed. Unladylike.. Is this normal?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its fine. Sex is about both of your pleasure. Tell him you love it when he does it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes, I'm surprised you allow yourself to like it, but it is normal.

    You will almost certainly need to help him discover how best to give you pleasure - he isn't a mind reader, and doesn't have one of his own to practice with (although they all work a bit differently, so that wouldn't be a perfect solution)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But I enjoy him touching me more than sex? How do I explain that to him?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know it's normal, I just hate it when he gets bored rubbing me down there and fingering me, and just wants to move onto sex. I feel like he only does it to get me wet so then we can have intercourse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sex is about compromise, you both need to enjoy it and get pleasure out of it, so if you feel like he's getting bored, then give him a treat for a while and then tell him its your turn for some
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good idea. I'm staying at his tonight so hopefully he will go down on me for longer tonight and rub and finger me because that really turns me on before sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell him that, I'm sure he'd love it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I will do :) Thanks. Do boys get pleasure out of pleasuring their girlfriend though?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I go down on him, not really.
    When I know he's enjoying sex, I get pleasure.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does he know I masturbate?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how the fuck are we meant to know?!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lyric wrote: »
    Does he know I masturbate?

    He wont think any less of you if he does know
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I mean.. do boys persume that their girlfriends masturbate?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Won't he think it's dirty?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not usually.
    He probably assumes you do, but then I dont know your man. Theyre all different
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What if he asks HOW I masturbate?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lyric wrote: »
    What if he asks HOW I masturbate?

    show him
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm just gutted that I know I'll never orgasm during foreplay or sex and he orgasms every time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah its not really any of his business if you dont want it to be
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But I want to be able to orgasm during sex.. I have only ever orgasmed through masturbating.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only way he could get me to orgasm is to rub me down there really fast and harder. And he wouldn't know when to stop or start.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    geneve wrote: »
    No man is a mind reader, you have to give him some direction.
    This.

    God, if I didn't give him an indication of when to stop, my boyfriend would spend all day down there. Fortunately for him I get massively sensitive when I'm done so I go all squirmy and he knows he can stop.

    Just tell him. Communication is the best thing here.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my case, he doesn't spend enough time down there! I'll have to lay down the law.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lyric wrote: »
    In my case, he doesn't spend enough time down there! I'll have to lay down the law.
    If he does that, shut your legs and tell him you won't let him get his til he gives you yours.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you sure he's getting bored?

    if he is then that isn't right! He should love touching you not get bored, make him pleasure you otherwise he shouldn't get any himself! ;)

    xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it sounds like you have a communication issue
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lyric wrote: »
    Does he know I masturbate?

    Only if he watches you like Ceiling Cat does...

    Clicky
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lyric wrote: »
    But I want to be able to orgasm during sex.. I have only ever orgasmed through masturbating.

    There's no need to worry about it. You have the great advantage of being young. Most people hope that their current bf will be THE ONE, but you'll probably have other bfs. Just because you don't orgasm during sex with this one, doesn't mean you never will and, as you become more experienced - even with this bf - you may find that it happens naturally. No, as someone said earlier, it isn't necessarily the goal of sex to have an orgasm, but it sure makes it more satisfactory.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you either have to teach him or just put up with it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when it comes to relationships, you and your partner need to be open physically and verbally. i am not sexually active bit because me and my boyfriend are open with one anpther, he told me he doesnt masturbate very often, only 1 or 2 times in a yr , so i know for future refernce, giving him a hand job might not do much for him. try talking to him when your cuddling aafter so he knows what yyou want more or less of next time.
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