Girls approaching guys

Former Member

I feel like a 14 year old guy asking this but i wanna be more confident in approaching guys. I never have, ever but i know that the responsibility doesnt all fall on him to make the move.

Soooo.... what do i do? I've been out before, eyeing a couple of guys up, wanting to their attention somehow but i dunno what to do or say!!

Former Member

Hi

Former Member

Yeah, just walk over... casual... and say hi. Make sure you have open body languge (don't cross your arms infront of you, or place objects between you and him whether it be your arm on the table or a bag etc) because that can make it harder to speak to someone. Even though you don't do it deliberatly... it's kind of an automatic reaction to nerves or not feeling comfortable. BUT don't stand really mega close to him (like nose to nose) because it can make some people (i.e. him) feel uncomfortable.

Or you could just give him a smile and wait for him to come to you...
Good luck
Xx

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

Yeah, just walk over... casual... and say hi. Make sure you have open body languge (don't cross your arms infront of you, or place objects between you and him whether it be your arm on the table or a bag etc) because that can make it harder to speak to someone. Even though you don't do it deliberatly... it's kind of an automatic reaction to nerves or not feeling comfortable. BUT don't stand really mega close to him (like nose to nose) because it can make some people (i.e. him) feel uncomfortable.

Or you could just give him a smile and wait for him to come to you...
Good luck
Xx

i went up to this guy i have a magor crush on and i asked him out and took controll and he still turned me down but he still talks to me and crap:thumb: go for it

Former Member

I found that the longer you think about it and what to say etc. makes it just harder. You postpone your 'entry' and suddenly they are gone or whatever. Maybe think about one casual question, like what kind of drink they are having, it looks good, or whatever, it doesn't really matter at all.

It's just that you don't go up there, say hi and then are struck silent. It's usually hardest to just bring yourself to go over there once you are over, said hi, asked something or told them something you noticed (maybe a small compliment) and finally introduced yourself everything goes from itself.

I might be wrong, but I never encountered a boy being nasty when approached like this and it's harder to imagine for me the other way round. I've made entries like that in the past and was told then to piss off and stuff, which, I guess, robbed me much of my self-esteem. But usually as soon as you did the aforementioned things you are in and there is hardly something you can do to crap it up.

Former Member

But... I... oh my god, its so scary!! :nervous:

I can never get up the courage to do it, i just keep giving looks over and hope he comes to me (which is difficult when currently i mostly hang out with a bunch of guys, nobodys going to approach me are they)

If a guy came to me with the same problem I'd just tell him to suck it up and do it but when you're putting themselves out there like that, i'm so scared of rejection!

Gah

Former Member

the boots on the other foot! seriously, don't worry about it, if a girl came over and asked me out i'd be made up the worst that can happen is that he says no and if he does then he's not the boy for you

Former Member

Yeah, know how you feel! But agree with what Strubbles said, do it straight away.
There was a guy last week, who I kept making eye contact with. So I decided, before I left (was about to leave), I'd tell him he was gorgeous. Ooer. About 5x I faltered and went back. Each time, losing my confidence more. If I did it the first time, it maybe would have been more confident and sexy, but nooooo.

I think, just when you're feeling confident, just DO IT! Don't hesitate! Cos you'll ruin it for yourself!

Former Member

Ggrrrr why didnt i do it the other day, he was fine as well and I had some dutch courage in me then as well!

I just wouldnt know what to say without making it sound forced or too obviously chatting him up...

Former Member

I can only say it is similarly like getting an inoculation as a kid. At first you are scared shitless and your mum has to drag you inside the doctors office. Then you smell the isopropanol of those disinfection wipes, then you see the needle etc.. and it's like a nightmare.

when you sit in a bar it is just like that, just that your mum is not dragging you to the boy, but you have to decide yourself to go into the doctors office and get the inoculation.

But I guess we all remember after a little sting it was all over. Just take a swirl of your vodka go up there and you will see that all the fear you had before did not make any sense, because it wasn't hard after all.

/e: btw. If I realized a girl was looking a lot in my direction and stuff I would most probably not go up there, because this is just a bit too little of a sign for me, in case this tactic is not working out for you.

Former Member

Go to Australia and you won't ever need to. You won't even need to make eye contact, the dude's out there are Predators.

lol, Seriously though, I think it's a good idea that you want to get better at it. Too few girls approach guys, it sucks because men like me can only pluck up the courage to chat a couple of girls up in a club, and if we make eye contact, we'd like you to pluck up the courage aswell please!
But yeah, Strubbles advice was pretty good. I met this girl the other night, and she kinda started talking to me first. She also gave me her number and asked if I wanted to see her again, not the other way around.

So yeah, go for it! :thumb:

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

/e: btw. If I realized a girl was looking a lot in my direction and stuff I would most probably not go up there, because this is just a bit too little of a sign for me, in case this tactic is not working out for you.

Do you mean she's being too full on, or not enough?

Former Member

For a girl to approach a guy, is more or less the best thing a guy can ever have happen to them, coz for a guy to talk to a girl...it's murder. If you wana talk to him, go over and just say hi, and start up a conversation along the lines of "i saw you and thought that you would be a good friend" and if he just shrugs you off, then he's a twat, and just making i harder for them rest of us.

Former Member

Lexi99 wrote: »

Do you mean she's being too full on, or not enough?

Not enough. Trying to get someone to talk you up just by repeatedly looking over to him is too little of a sign of interest for me.

Former Member

bio haz wrote: »

... then he's a twat, and just making i harder for them rest of us.

This is unfortunately a reaction I got frequently off of girls. It sucks, just because they a) get talked up often enough and feel disturbed, or more likely b) are too insecure to handle the situation so they try to take the superior position by brushing you off.

Like I said in my previous post. I had it too often, that a girl shows me I'm unwelcome either by words or strong gestures. but hey ho.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

Like I said in my previous post. I had it too often, that a girl shows me I'm unwelcome either by words or strong gestures. but hey ho.

Thats not right, whatever happened to being civil?

Anyway, just giving looks over and hoping for a reaction, i can see, is a bit of a pathetic attempt. If a guy did that to me I'd just think, grow a pair and come over.

Good thinkin i like it