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Alzheimers

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
my friend is really upset and worried about her grandma coz she might have alzheimers and she found out by accident, so she's not very happy with her parents for not telling her

i dont know what to say to her to make her feel better, all i can do is give her big hugs and i wish i could do more:(

xxx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi It’sMEE :wave:

    You seem to be doing a great job of being there for your friend when she needs you, which will really help her out whilst she’s feeling that way.

    It sounds to me as though she’s most upset about the fact that her parents haven’t told her everything they know and that it’s been a shock for her to find out accidentally. Family secrets can be really hurtful but often they are kept out of love, with the intention of protecting each other from upsetting news. The fact that the family are not yet sure whether or not her Grandma actually has Alzheimer’s suggests that they didn’t want to worry your friend and were possibly waiting until they had all the facts before discussing it. Has your friend spoken to her parents? Maybe you could encourage her to do so – I’m sure that she’ll discover they were just trying to protect her until they knew what was going on and she can let them know if she’d rather be kept informed of everything as it happens.

    If it does turn out that her Grandma is suffering from Alzheimer’s, you could also point your friend to the Alzheimer’s Society where she’ll be able to read up on the condition. They also have an online community which she could use to get support from others who are going through the same experience.

    Finally, just carry on with what you’re doing! It’s easy to wish you could do more but it sounds to me like you’re being a great mate, providing her with the all-important shoulder to cry on and giving her the support she needs....so keep it up :) .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can tell her the same old joke every day and she will always laugh.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    You can tell her the same old joke every day and she will always laugh.

    StrubbleS, do you have personal experience of Alzheimer's?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It'sMEE wrote: »
    my friend is really upset and worried about her grandma coz she might have alzheimers and she found out by accident, so she's not very happy with her parents for not telling her

    i dont know what to say to her to make her feel better, all i can do is give her big hugs and i wish i could do more:(

    xxx

    Sounds like you're doing a great job by just being there - giving her space to talk and some hugs if she wants is all you really can do. As a friend, maybe you could organise a trip out to take her mind off things? Or - perhaps arrange to meet her for a coffee and a chat after she next visits her grandmother.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks:) i'll see how it goes for her. purplestarfish - i like ur idea of going out for a bit to take her mind off things, that hadnt occured to me!

    xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi It'sMEE :wave:

    I think its lovely that you're so prepared to help out with your friend in this situation.

    My nan was diagnosed with Alzheimers a few years ago now and as horrible as it is to watch her behaviour sometimes and her not knowing who me or my family are on her bad days, she is still my nan regardless of everything.

    Visits to her care home can be quite stressful, and just spending a couple of hours a week in the company of somebody with Alzheimer's can be physically and mentally draining so having a friend like you around would be great in this situation, because sometimes I walk out of my seeing my nan and wonder A. If it was worth it because she spent the whole 2 hours shouting at me, crying and storming off and B. She's probably forgotten by the time I've started my car and won't remember a single conversation or activity we did, but none of my friends have ever had the first hand experience of this so don't really understand where I'm coming from.

    But keeping your friends mind occupied is a really good idea because it will stop her worrying and her parents maybe kept it from her to try and protect her?

    I agree with everyone else, you're doing a great job by the sound of things :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was speaking to her on the phone earlier about it, it seems like she's ok...she spoke to her dad about it. i think she's still pretty upset, but i'll see how it goes, at least i feel i can ask her about it so i dont get too worried!

    Thanks everyone:)
    xxx
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