Home Health & Wellbeing
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Massive eeeeeekkk

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I *think* someone in my family has reguarly been looking through my room for stuff. I wish I could just be jumping to conclusions or whatever but I really think its true, and I don't know what to do :crying:

A few months ago, i had a little blue slip from my GP to get an ECG done... I hid it in my room and knew exactly where it was, but then one day I went to find it... and it had gone. It did cross my mind that someone had taken it, but I forced that thought from my mind and convinced myself that I had moved it and lost it or something.

A few little things happened between then and now, but this is what happened today...

Basically I had to fill out some sort of health questionnaire and give it to my GP to sign... I needed it for some occupational health people. It cost £20 for them to take 4 weeks to give me a signature, so I took it to school and got it photocopied for if I need a similar thing done. I then put the photocopy in another "safe place". So yesterday, I was away for the whole day at an interview... and came back... and this form was gone. I've just spent the whole of this morning cleaning my room and looking through everything to see if I could find it... and nope.

The idea that someone... especially someone in my family... has seen that form just makes me feel really sick. I feel like I have no privacy and now I'm just on edge all the time, because I'm scared people know stuff when I haven't told them. And.. if I don't get into uni for next year or whatever, it means I have to spend another year at home and the idea of that.... :no:

Ahhh, I don't know what to think.. or what to do... I don't care about what people think of me.. whether they think I'm overreacting.. because I know that I can't handle this... I can't just tell my parents the truth, I've tried twice before and it hasn't worked.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If someone has been into your room and gone through your stuff and ask you what it is, then you could say it was for a project for your college. Or you can say that a friend wanted you to look after it so that her parents didnt find it. Maybe ask them if they have been into your room and picked up anything that is yours, and then casually say that you would prefer it if no one went into your room as you would like your own privacy. I know its hard to hide things from people and can be really worrying if you feel as though someone has seen something that you dont want them to look at. I hide pieces of paper that I dont want other people to see inside of books so that people cant find them there. I hope everything works out ok x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys

    But geneve... I actually disagree.... of course my parents know me well, but they don't know me the best. I hide stuff from them for a reason, and I don't let them know what I really think about a lot of stuff because its not worth the battle. In an ideal world.. yes they should be the people I turn to, but thats not the case. I wish it was... I wish that they could support me through this, but I know that its not possible.

    There are reasons why I don't tell them things.... firstly as I said... I've tried twice before... when I was 11... and then again when i was 15. My mum let me down in a big way the second time... and I haven't forgiven her for it. Well actually thats not true.. I have forgiven her... but I can't forget... and so it has an effect on what I do now, what I tell her etc etc.

    I realise I don't know for certain any of this.... but the possibility of it being true wrecks me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Geneve - There are things you keep to yourself, and tell people only if you want to and when you are ready.

    Your family may know you are keeping something from them, so decided to snoop. My parents do it. They aren't as discreet as they think they are.

    What do you think about asking them about it? Perhaps they are waiting for you to mention something?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .Leanne. wrote: »
    What do you think about asking them about it? Perhaps they are waiting for you to mention something?

    Really i would... but I don't want them to know.... them knowing just does not work. When my mum knew stuff got so much worse.... I can't explain it. Its just... you expect parents to be really supportive and stuff if you tell them the truth and your problems etc... and my mum wasn't. And so 4 years later... I tried again, and nothing had changed and it still made everything worse.
    geneve wrote:
    Aww, that's cute
    Could you actually get anymore patronising?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree it is really unfair but if it's misplaced medical things I think they are just doing it out of concern for you. If your folks are doing this then they completely arent going the right way about it and should really talk to you if they want to be involved. It might be helpful to casually mention things going missing from your room and see what they say. Perhaps you could even suggest that IF they have been searching your room that you understand that they are worried about you but it really isn't helpful. I'd maybe offer to talk about all this health stuff with them. You dont have to go into massive detail but it seems like they just want to know what's going on in their daughter's life. Whilst I completely disagree with snooping in someone else's room, perhaps they are doing it out of desperation and just need you to confide a little more to them. Hope it's sorted. I'd hate that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks tangerine...

    I can't forget what my mum did... and this makes me unable to talk to her about anything. Its not just that I *know* (from past experience) it won't help and things may get worse .... I just can't handle my close family knowing, and I don't know how I can change that.

    I really want to be able to say to you guys... "yeah, i'll speak to her about it tomorrow" but it won't be true.

    If you feel like this... :banghead: ... i'm sorry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no worries! i'd be pissed too. but if it keeps happening then i would definitely mention that important documents keep going missing from your room and it's really frustrating. then maybe sit down and explain calmly that you dont want it to keep happening and maybe even ask why they feel the need to do this. they must have a reason for doing it. the fact that they take these documents rather than leave them where they were suggest they want to be involved too. but yeah it isnt on for them to do that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks tangerine...

    I can't forget what my mum did... and this makes me unable to talk to her about anything. Its not just that I *know* (from past experience) it won't help and things may get worse .... I just can't handle my close family knowing, and I don't know how I can change that.

    I really want to be able to say to you guys... "yeah, i'll speak to her about it tomorrow" but it won't be true.

    If you feel like this... :banghead: ... i'm sorry.

    It's fine purple, only you know what your family is like and if you don't think you can cope with them knowing, then you don't have to tell them anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i can maybe understand them looking at things in your room, but most people would have a look and then leave the things where they are, not take them.
    you'd think if they had taken them they would have mentioned it to you - you know, like you'd have come home and they'd have said, 'we found this in your room, what is it, we're worried' sort of thing... unless they're waiting for you to mention the missing things first.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My brother had a lock from about age 14 onwards. I am back at my mum's at 27 and don't have a lock. I also don't care if my mum goes through my room though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PURPLE <3 *hugs* I just got chance to reply, I wish I could help, With regards of what they may/may not have found so far, unfortunately there is not much you can do without confrontation, and I know how much you do not wish to do this. with regards to future documents have you thought of a way of protecting them, from simple things to either getting a cheap lock box, obviously they could break it but you'd be able to tell they have, to placing "tells" on your secret hiding places, for example if it is a draw you get a strand of hair, wet/lick it, place it on the frame crossing the gap betweein the frame/draw, when the door/draw is opened the hair is dropped and without looking for it they will never know it was there and you can tell they've/someone has been in there,

    also, a good one, peice of folded paper in the door frame of your room trapped between the door/frame so when it opens it drops, they will notice this but you want them too, makes them aware, they'll put it back, but makesure you mark the position you put in on the frame at, they'll prob put it back in wrong and you'll tell

    (just don't ask how I know this)
    also if you wish, on a not so serious note I can teach you how to set up a door with a shotgun.... *lalalala*

    Anyway I wish i could help more but regarding whats happening now without talking to your parents there is not much you can do :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What I used to do was to take the bottom draw of its runners and hide improtant/secret stuff in the space below - with some draw units the space underneath is quite big :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To Geneve, I just wanted to say that my mum knows nothing about me. She doesn't even know my fave colour, she doesn't know about my personality, my friends, my life, my likes and dislikes. She doesn't know anything.

    Anyway *hugs* to purple. I haven't read everything here, but my step mum goes through my things. I took photos of my room before I left, and then one when I got back, and loads of my stuff had moved. I showed them to her, and she refused to say anything. But after that, it hasn't happened again. Obviously, that probably isn't the route to go down. I'd say, speak to them though. Also, if you have something to hide put it in your pillow case or something. Most my secret things are in a shoe box in my closet.
    Xx
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