i hate him so much

Former Member

I hate my step dad so so so so so fecking much!

For the shower to put it on you pull a string thingy before you actually turn the shower on. I don't know how it works to be honest lol
Well i haven't used it today as i had a shower last night (stinky )
My brother (of course his son can never do anything wrong :mad: ) has just used this, and he has just fucked it. So dad comes through to me and starts proper screaming in my face like seriously shouting at me and he still shouting say that its all my fault and i fuck up everything. i'm crying like a baby right now but he wont shut up, and i'm scared and i hate beeing scared of him and i'm getting all worked up. I know what this will turn to if he doesn't stop and i don't want him to start on mum :crying: I hate this man so much. Why do i have to ruin everything?

</rant> :crying:

Former Member

Oh love.

I don't know what to say.

Come and stay with me?

*hugs*

Former Member

switches wear out.

replace it, or call an electrician to replace it.

Former Member

yeah i'll tell him that when he stops shouting at me...

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

Why do i have to ruin everything?

</rant> :crying:

Dont blame yourself, you didnt do anything wrong.

Big hugs xxxxxx

Former Member

Step-parents are ALWAYS (in my experience) the evil clones of real parents.
*Hugs* and as people have said, it's not your fault... it's the evil cloning scientist that makes step-parents.
Have you spoken to your mum? Because it's worth ago, it can't make things worse can it ?
Xxx

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

Step-parents are ALWAYS (in my experience) the evil clones of real parents.x

My stepmum is the loveliest person you could ever meet.

Saying that, she doesn't treat me like she's my real parent, she treats me like she's my big sister. I think that when they start trying to be your parent is when the problems start happening.

Former Member

Franki wrote: »

Saying that, she doesn't treat me like she's my real parent, she treats me like she's my big sister. I think that when they start trying to be your parent is when the problems start happening.

:yes: My step-mum often shouts at me (when I am there) "I AM YOUR MOTHER." And, I always turn round with a comment like "Nothing as good as me came out of you" and then that's when it all kicks off...
NAUN, has he been in your life since you were a baby? or is it more recent?
Xx

Former Member

Since i was about five, back then we got on really well. Now we hardly talk and at any opportunity he shouts, mum usually has to step in if he goes for me, or if he takes it too far, but then they just start shouting at each other and doesn't solve much. Most of the time i have probably done something to deserve it, but tbh this time i was sitting on my laptop doing absolutely nothing at all.

Former Member

I think that, when you're younger, it is easier for them to take a parents role. But as you grow up, they kinda keep there distance (as I'm sure do most kids involved too)
Don't get me wrong, some step-parents are nice I'm sure. But I think everyone finds it hard looking after someone else's kid, or treating someone like a parent when they aren't.
Naun, I think you should speak to your mum (or write her a letter) explaining how you feel. If you don't feel able to do that, maybe when you get into conflict gently tell him to calm down? I don't know personally, I've never liked my step-mum and it is fairly obvious so I haven't had the same problems.
Xx

Former Member

nothing i can say except *hugs*

Indrid Cold

notanotherusername! wrote: »

Why do i have to ruin everything?

I can't even begin to describe how thinking this makes no freaking sense.
Based on what you say the only one ruining anything at all is him.

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

I think that, when you're younger, it is easier for them to take a parents role. But as you grow up, they kinda keep there distance (as I'm sure do most kids involved too)
Don't get me wrong, some step-parents are nice I'm sure. But I think everyone finds it hard looking after someone else's kid, or treating someone like a parent when they aren't.
Naun, I think you should speak to your mum (or write her a letter) explaining how you feel. If you don't feel able to do that, maybe when you get into conflict gently tell him to calm down? I don't know personally, I've never liked my step-mum and it is fairly obvious so I haven't had the same problems.
Xx

Mum knows what he is like because he is the exact same to her, he has no respect for anyone and he doesn't get why we have none for him. She know how i feel about it because we have talked about it. But its a really complicated situation, and tbh i don't think it can be resolved until he gets some kind of help (which might sound harsh but there's a huge massive other story to go with this, but i don't really want to get into it)

Its just me and him at home today, so i'm staying in my room just now because i can't be bothered with him kicking off again. We walked by each other before and it was like he didn't exist to me and i didn't exist to him, it will probably stay like this for a bit.
Its shit, but its life.

Former Member

do you think you could go in to speak to him when he's calmed down? i get why this wouldnt be do-able though especially if you're scared of him.

Former Member

Sounds like my dad was with me when i lived at home. It was horrible and I know how hard it is, so am sending you a *big hug*.

I got shouted at for the tiniest things, even if I hadn't done them, but would argue back. My brother would just keep agreeing with my dad (when he got told off, not when I did)
For example:
Dad:"stupid boy, breaking that...."
Bro: "yes, I am a silly boy"
Dad: "why did you do it.... you should have done it like that"
Bro: "yes, I should have"
etc.

By always agreeing it diffused the shouting a lot better than arguing. I'm not saying it's ideal to "admit" to something you didn't do. But it does stop a huge argument brewing. Although I also went in the other direction and argued back.

If that makes sense!

Former Member

Wow he sounds like a real charmer, dont blame yourself you have done nothing wrong. He is suposed to be the man of the house so why the feck does he not maintain things? He sounds like a bully just taking his frustrations and short comings out on on someone who he knows cant bite back. Just stay strong cause you are the better person and even though he won't admit he probably feels like a complete tit when he calms down and thinks about what he has said.

Former Member

my step dads a little bit like this. He would never hit my mum but hes hit me a few times... im 18 and quite feisty and it has led to a few fists up between us! I think im probably the only person in the world he will hit or shout at, and we generally argue cause ive said something like "dont speak to my mum like that" cause he can talk to her like shit, hes not a complete ass but he has his moments.
he accused me once of breaking his cd player.. i got shit for weeks even though i told him it was my brother, but my brothers HUGE and would batter my step dad if he even opened his mouth to my brother- step dad knows this hence why he vents his anger out on me....
so after days of arguments, i went into his room, trashed his cd player and cd's he was like :eek2: "what you do that for?" told him "if im going to get the shit and arguments for breaking it when i havent, im guna actually break it and atleast make it worth the shit!" he stood there in complete shock while my mum nearly wet herself laughing.... he hasnt accused me of breaking his stuff again as he knows now if i havent done it... I WILL do it haha im not suggesting this to you... but alot of people are in the same boat sweetie even with their own parents... just keep your chin up, ignore him when he comes to argue with you, if you be the bigger person and walk away from it, your not feeding him the fuel to carry on arguing unfortunatly- i however, am not a big person... xx

Former Member

While my relationship with my step-dad improved no end after I threw him across the room, I can't suggest that as a course of action.

Former Member

ha, well occasionally he will shove me around and stuff, and i have hit him. But he is a builder... so kinda big, and I'm 5ft2, so he wins there!

If i don't answer him when he is shouting at me or just say "yeah" and agree it seems to piss him off even more and he keeps going at you, and will follow me around and then he gets all violent about it. He has pushed me, threw me out, slammed doors on me, slammed a door on my arm, chased me, squared up against me and whatever and he has done worse to mum, You can not win with this man when he starts. the best thing you can do is get out before he properly starts, but most the time I don't see it coming because i haven't done anything wrong. I've only got a few more months of it then i am off to uni, so i dunno.

Today he started to do his usual shit when he realises he has been an idiot and sucks up and does jobs around the house he has been asked to do and cleans up and i'm like urgh.

Former Member

Aww...how out of order of him, sounds like a lovely man :rolleyes:

When he starts getting violent and really aggressive could you not just phone the police? Drastic I know but might make him realise you won't take his shit....