Questioning sexuality

Former Member

This is more of a confession really, due to the fact that I need to get some things off my chest. And I do apologize for how long it may be. Lately I've been questioning my sexuality. Started having bisexual thoughts since senior year of high school (6 years ago), which you'd think would be enough time to figure this out, but I'm still not sure.

I am still attracted to women for sure, but lately it's been my sexual thoughts that have been about men rather than women. I'm pretty sure I do want to have sex with a man sometimes (I've been close to it a few times, but chickened out mainly due to the fact they were being arranged online, which you could never be too careful about). This is one of the things that makes me question it. The second thing is, well, I've also had thoughts of cross dressing. Yes, I have done it before and yes I did like it, and want to try it again.

And in case you are wondering, no one knows about my bicuriosity. I'm pretty much coming out on this forum right now, lol.

So like I said, more of a confession, but a little help is appreciated. Like, should I come out about this to someone? And feel free to ask more questions that you think could help (serious ones please)

Former Member

First, welcome to thesite.
And, in regard to your post, many people at some point in their lives will question their sexuality. Some people know from a very young age their sexual preferance, others may not realise till later life (Paul O'Grady is an example.) It is perfectly fine to explore your sexuality, and quite often the easiest way to know for sure is by having relationships ect. But, not until you are ready. You may not be sure for a while, but one day it'll probably be clear to you. From what you posted, it seems like you are most likely bisexual. A lot of bi people have a preferance for either men or women, but are still attracted to both.
It's great you feel you can talk about it, hopefully you'll find who you are soon :-)
Xx

Former Member

Hi well i have to agree with Broken-Angel we are all diffrent and i guess we all discover exactly who we are at diffrent times although nothing is set in stone if you are Bi i think it is normal to still have a preferance one way or the other and maybe this can change depending on how you are feeling or who you are fancying at that exact moment. I suppose the only way to ever know is to actually try maybe go somewhere safe and public like a gay bar and just see if you enjoy the company and the reality of the situation. Now the cross dressing is more my subject lol and i can say that even though i consider myself to be straight if i dress for a long period of time i can get into a really feminine way of thinking and feeling and strange as it sounds i do begin to appreciate good looking guys and notice more about their personalites and the way they act i have thought about this and in my case i see it as a kind of submissive thing where i want to be looked after and loved so you see there is confusion even there as i would probably run a mile if a boy ever even smiled at me.Coming out is never easy and it really depends on your own situation as to when you do and who you come out to, i started with close family and just one friend that i knew i could really trust you need to think about who you would feel comfy coming out to and try to make sure they are the type who will support you.
Good luck with it all

Former Member

It's nothing to be ashamed of, It's only natural to have 'thoughts' especially in todays day and age, i often think people think i'm gay, i'm happy to say even if i'm not, maybe your just a free thinker and are curious because you havent tried it... maybe you would like it, maybe you wouldnt...

as for cross dressing, wearing make up, everyone likes making them look pretty, wether it boys wearing blue or girls in pink or the other way round... it makes no difference.. be gay, be happy, wear a smile, make your day worthwhile,,

Former Member

I started off being bi-curious and had thoughts about guys for a while, but i took no notice of them and carried on... But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to 'try it out' so to speak, so I chatted to another Bi friend of mine who pointed my in the right direction (the internet) who which I started talking to a guy my age, and I look at it as making friends....

So I made friends with him and decided to meet him, he knew that I was a total newbie and that I was curious about being with a guy. It's safe to say I'm happy being bi - Its the best of both worlds!

It helps if you have any gay/bi friends, because speaking to them about it really does help. I wouldn't recommend going out and telling friends/family that you think you're gay or bi even, it's often easier to speak to girl-friends and see what they say?

All the best though!

Former Member

Questioning

I am a guy. I like women and transwomen (I know they are women). I like transsexual porn. I have been attracted to guys and drag queens in but not so now. I have found myself one time finding a transsexual pornstars (not sure what to really call a transsexual pornstar since most in the TG community do not see them as transsexua) p**is sexy. I meant they way it look (the transsexuals p**is) was sexy. I would like to be pegged by a women. I have used a dildo before. What do that say about me?

Former Member

Doureo wrote: »

I would like to be pegged by a women. I have used a dildo before. What do that say about me?

You like it up the arse?

Former Member

^ Exactly. That alone doesn't mean you're gay/bi. Lots of straight men like that.

I think sexuality can be fluid in some people. I'm bi-curious, always have been, really. I've just never found myself in a situation where I've had the opportunity to... confirm it, so to speak.

If you have a close friend or relative that you might be able to talk to about this, and you're feeling brave, I think it'd help. It can get lonely keeping secrets, but it's such a sensitive subject, and can be very hard to talk about. Do you know of any LGBT alliances in your school/area? Talking to like-minded people would be a great start.