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Lack of Sex and Intimacy in relationship
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 28 years old and have recently got married to my wife who is 22, we have been married for approximately 5 months. We have a baby boy who is 18 months old.
My problem is the lack of sex and intimacy within our relationship, it all started after my wife had our son, now this I could understand - Tiredness, lack of sleep, post natal depression, etc but as time went on all my advances would be turned down and sometimes to the point where she would refuse to talk about it and get quite aggressive towards me.
Now im a very relaxed person and I like to talk about problems to get things resolved, I had a major worry before we got married that this would continue and I was having second thoughts about our future, we sat down and I told her my worries, she again seemed to avoid the conversation and said that once wedding was out of the way and she could relax more things would be fine. I gave her the benefit of the doubt but nothing has changed since we got married, we didn’t even have sex on our wedding night because she claimed she was on her period, in fact she point blank refuses to engage in anything sexual.
Im really in need to some advice on how to approach this situation and to get things resolved, I love my wife but she wont talk to me about this and always gets angry when I mention it, I do a lot for her and our son, I give her plenty of cuddles and kisses and when we go to bed I feel very alone, she will always turn her back on me and says she tired or refuse to turn over to cuddle me, it is always on her terms and I have to cuddle her.
Im not at the point where im very angry and feel that im giving so much with no return, we have tried counselling as there could have been some depression and anxiety left over from having our son which she soon kicked in saying "it was a waste of time and complete rubbish"…….
I don’t want to continue like this as in the long run a relationship like this will do no good for our son, but she wont help herself, wont let me help her and although she says she will change and make an effort it seems she only says this to keep me quiet, 3 or 4 weeks later there is no change and it continues from there.
Im finding that due to all this lack of attention im now looking at other women and finding them attractive.
Some advice would be welcome
My problem is the lack of sex and intimacy within our relationship, it all started after my wife had our son, now this I could understand - Tiredness, lack of sleep, post natal depression, etc but as time went on all my advances would be turned down and sometimes to the point where she would refuse to talk about it and get quite aggressive towards me.
Now im a very relaxed person and I like to talk about problems to get things resolved, I had a major worry before we got married that this would continue and I was having second thoughts about our future, we sat down and I told her my worries, she again seemed to avoid the conversation and said that once wedding was out of the way and she could relax more things would be fine. I gave her the benefit of the doubt but nothing has changed since we got married, we didn’t even have sex on our wedding night because she claimed she was on her period, in fact she point blank refuses to engage in anything sexual.
Im really in need to some advice on how to approach this situation and to get things resolved, I love my wife but she wont talk to me about this and always gets angry when I mention it, I do a lot for her and our son, I give her plenty of cuddles and kisses and when we go to bed I feel very alone, she will always turn her back on me and says she tired or refuse to turn over to cuddle me, it is always on her terms and I have to cuddle her.
Im not at the point where im very angry and feel that im giving so much with no return, we have tried counselling as there could have been some depression and anxiety left over from having our son which she soon kicked in saying "it was a waste of time and complete rubbish"…….
I don’t want to continue like this as in the long run a relationship like this will do no good for our son, but she wont help herself, wont let me help her and although she says she will change and make an effort it seems she only says this to keep me quiet, 3 or 4 weeks later there is no change and it continues from there.
Im finding that due to all this lack of attention im now looking at other women and finding them attractive.
Some advice would be welcome
0
Comments
Toddlers are exhausting. Unless you do all the housework, cook all the meals, wash your clothes, iron etc then I suspect that she is also doing this.
You first step should be to make sure that you take on many of the roles around the house... see if you can take some of the pressure off her. Then see what happens...