need some direction (and help)

Former Member

i need some advice, i know that no-one on here can cure me by themselves i just wanted some advice...

i was going to tell someone about my (frankly quite bad) self harm and the fact that i think im depressed or manic depressive or something. I was going to preferably try my mum, and tell her to take me to the doctor, cos to get to my GP i would need a lift, and im 15 so i cant exactly drive yet

In the past week the depression has gotten REALLY bad, ive been very suicidal.....so yesterday i tried to got to the school councillor at lunch, because i couldnt take it any more and i had kind of convinced myself out of talking to my mum. But basically i couldnt bring myself to do it.
So i decided again to go to my mum again.

But then i got home and because i hadnt been at her house for a few days i had forgotten ....... well she was her usual crappy bitchy self, who really neither cares nor loves me. I had forgotten how much i hate her. God that sounds awful, doesnt it? And DONT tell me im just a teenager, ive realised since i was 7, and my grandparents and dad agree with me.

Well i realised that i am just alone, i cant tell anyone. Am literally taking each second as it comes, just to make it through the days. I dont know what to do, i have no reason to be alive.
Another thing i wanted to ask.....ive literally taken 10 ibuprofen tablets. I know it wont kill me, but i was wondering what exactly they will do? I have taken a 16 when suicidal before but never 10 without using it to kill myself.

Former Member

is anyone at home with you? im not entirely sure what it can do but i know that it is very, very dangerous. would you be able to ring a friend to take you to a and e? or ring nhs direct? i know it's scary but i think you need to seek urgent medical attention. the number for nhs direct is 0845 4647

Former Member

iamnotarobot wrote: »

Am literally taking each second as it comes, just to make it through the days.

sometimes that's the only way honey and if it keeps you alive then it's absolutely fine. sometimes the next few seconds or minutes are all you can handle, anything beyond that seems completely overwhelming.

how are you feeling today? i really think you should tell someone what happened yesterday, especially if you are feeling unwell. don't be afraid to phone nhs direct if you need to, they can give some really helpful advice. in terms of how you feel in your head, have you ever tried the samaritans? they can be really supportive if you feel that you can't talk to anyone close to you. link.

it sounds like you really want to tell someone who can help you in a more practical way though. if you don't feel you can approach your mum, could you talk to your dad or grandparents instead? if you want your mum to know then maybe they could tell her for you. or maybe one of them could take you to your doctor. do you think you could try again on monday to see the counsellor? do you have to make an appointment or do they have drop-in sessions? i know it's really scary and hard to try to ask for help but you sound like you need it and like you want it too. you don't have to deal with this alone.

i hope you're ok, and i really hope you've told someone about overdosing. come back and let us know you're alright.
take good care of yourself x

**helen**

omg hi has given some lovely advice there and I second this...

omg hi wrote: »

i hope you're ok, and i really hope you've told someone about overdosing. come back and let us know you're alright.
take good care of yourself x

Former Member

i havent told anyone about overdosing, not yet anyway.
I think im fine i just felt woozy and dizzy and completely out of it. I dont think i could talk till the morning so it was just as well that i didnt do it during the day.
Im still dubious about going to anyone, literally the only person i could tell would be my mum, and no1 else.

exposed

hi,

as someone has mentioned previously. living with depression is a day by day thing. about this time last year i had what i consider my worst ever spell which lasted about 4 months. i saw no way out other than killing myself. i went to my GP who in turn increased the dosage of my antidepressant.

nhs direct is a good idea, also don't be afraid to use services like samaritans. they may not be ideal, but sometimes just talking to an anonymous voice helps. it helps put things into perspective. sometimes depression can be an incredibly lonely affliction, especially when you feel like you can only share your troubles with certain people.

i can't advise anything on the tablets, because i'm no good with that sort of thing.

your gp will be able to help, and he/she has probably dealt with similar issues more than you think.

let us know how you get on.

EDIT: Glaring painful spelling mistake by me

Former Member

Hi imnotarobot,

You have been given great advice on your thread. Just wondering how you are feeling today and if you'd given any thought to the things suggested in your thread?

You may also want to check out out pages on self-harm? There's a lot of stuff there to look through, but it may help. The page on confiding in someone may be worth checking out, as has been mentioned, it seems you would like to share this with someone.

Take care -:)