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Do I help?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi All I really would like some advice.

I work in a school. I work on reception along with another lady. We do general office stuff and also look after the medical room. So we have many kids coming back and forth with various things. Whilst we are not teachers we do see alot of the girls (its a girls only school) and deal with various things like attendance wellbeing etc.

Anyway basically there is a girl who is self harming, she has come to the medical room a few times already this week. The teacher is trying to help her ,she has a social worker and a consellor comes into see her. The teacher said she is stumped as what to do for her and didn't understand self harm at all. The thing is I used to self harm, right up until I was about 26 - I am 30 now. Seeing this girls really hits me and I really feel and understand what is happening. I know she is having a hard time at home and I can really relate as I had a horrible child hood. She is a lovely girl and I usually let her know what time her counsellor is coming each week.

I wonder if I should help her, offer some words of support and tell her I understand what she is going through. I walked her back to her lesson and just asked if she was ok and that was it, but part of me wanted to tell her I feel her pain and I have been there. Its not making me feel bad in a way that makes me want to self harm I just feel for her.

I dont' think I should pour my heart out and tell her all the gory details of my life and self harm. I just wondered if I should maybe tell her I have been though tough times my self and understand.

Or should I just say nothing. ?


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Perhaps you could help her teacher, by helping them understand self harm?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Catnip :)

    Sounds like you have a lot of empathy and care for this student that you want to share. Just wondering if your school has a policy about boundaries like these and self-disclosure? If so that should give you some guidance about what its safe to say and what its not.

    My guess is this student can tell you care already as it really comes across in your post and I can tell. I imagine you're a real asset at the school - its so important that all staff have students best interests at heart.

    Also really glad to hear that you feel no trigger personally in working with this girl and that you have moved on from SH yourself

    Take care :)
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