Constant fear

Former Member

I guess this is something to do with anxiety, and I've read a bit about it ... but I don't quite feel this is it. I feel scared whenever I'm not feeling a contradicting emotion like happiness or joy, or when I'm laughing. It's like fear is my default emotional status, and I don't understand why because I have absolutely no idea what I'm scared of. I can't think of anything? Does anyone else have this? What should I do? I don't know if it's a big enough deal to go and see the college nurse or my GP about.

PS I self harmed on and off for about 18 months but I've been clean for almost a year now, so I don't think it's that. The fear that I have has been with me as long as I can remember although if I smoke it goes away for a while, but I've quit that as well.

Can anyone help?

Eve
xxx

Former Member

Hi Eve,

Sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, sound's like you have looked into what is going on for you, but that you are still unsure. These feelings are definitely worth seeking some help for - whether from your college nurse, GP or other health professional.

Well done for not having harmed for about a year, that's really positive. It could be that the underlying problems to your harming, are also the underlying problems to these feelings of fear and anxiety? You may need some help to look at these issues? We all need help from time to time to work through the past and look towards the future. As you have suggested - your GP or College nurse may be a good place to start?

These pages on conquering fear and anxiety may go some way to help and explain what is going on for you at the moment, why not check them out?

Take care and keep posting

Former Member

I dunno, I self harmed because I think there was too much going on inside me - a lot of emotional pain that I couldn't cope with, so I externalised it with physical pain that I could deal with. But I think that emotional stress has gone. I've never had a problem with hard work at school stressing me out - I stopped self harming in the run-up to my GCSEs and managed to get 9A*s and 4As out of it, as well as an A in Additional Maths (talking about my successes calms me down a bit) so I don't think it's got anything to do with that.

My life is pretty much on track at the moment: I'm really enjoying college and I've a really good group of friends around me. Even though a load of random stuff has happened recently (one of my best friends getting really stressed out by her family, another best friend being hit by a car - don't worry, she's fine, just a broken collar bone) I don't think it's related. I'm not sure why...I guess I feel that I can deal with that, and am dealing with that, fine. My home life is good, I'm getting an iPhone in a few weeks and there's a guy I really like at college who I'm good friends with ... everything seems to be fine in my head, but in my chest there's a constant tension and my heartbeat is probably about 80bpm (very high, considering I do sport quite a few times a week and am pretty healthy), and a fluttering feeling as well, and I'm so nervous - I jump at small things and I constantly seem on high alert. I can't remember not feeling like this, but not so consistently in the past, and not on such a high/intense level.

It's confusing me at the moment, as well as freaking me out slightly. I can't decide if I'm over-reacting and there's nothing wrong with me, or whether this is actually something to worry about, and something that can be treated.

Eve
xxx