If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
What sex life is a healthy sex life?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was having a chat with my flatmate last night about sex. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 an a bit years, and we have only had sex with each other. My flatmate on the other hand has had a lot of sexual partners and therefore has done a lot of things I haven't.
I get a bit embaressed talking about sex with people other than my boyfriend because it is not something which is openly discussed in my family or with my friends (they are quite shy.) so because of this, my flatmate has always called me "the sweet and innocent one." I don't mind being called this just because I don't believe in telling anyone who will listen what I get up to with my boyfriend.
Anyway, her opinion of sex is that we are all animals, we have urges etc. whereas mine is that sex should be something which is shared between two people who love each other. I believe we have these opinions because of our sexual experiences.
Now, I have always thought that me and my boyfriend have quite a healthy sex life. We aren't at it like rabbits but we do have it nearly everytime we see each other. I am not 100% confident in my skin so there are some positions I don't like because I feel I am too exposed. Anyway talking to my flatmate really made me think, wow. I haven't done a LOT of things that she has. Ok, she sees sex as something casual and to be honest, it is all she talks about, but I mean I feel so prudish now! She was talking about using sex toys, anal sex, threesomes...I haven't done any of those! and now I feel almost...silly! because me and my boyfriend have been together longer than any of her relationships yet haven't participated in anything THAT risque.
I guess I just feel a little bit like we have gotton complacent in our sex life and don't have as much fun as we could be having. I am interested in experimenting with anal and sex toys, though my boyfriend isn't too keen on the latter..I would also like to try having an orgasm through penetrative sex rather than just having sex, he comes and then finishes me off. It's not very liberating and it has become almost a routine. I would also love it if my boyfriend would want sex more than once a day, but he never seems to have the urge. I know we have been together a long time but I feel almost unwanted that he doesn't seem more eager to try new things
Sorry this is so long, I guess it has just been preying on my mind for some time. Thanks.
I get a bit embaressed talking about sex with people other than my boyfriend because it is not something which is openly discussed in my family or with my friends (they are quite shy.) so because of this, my flatmate has always called me "the sweet and innocent one." I don't mind being called this just because I don't believe in telling anyone who will listen what I get up to with my boyfriend.
Anyway, her opinion of sex is that we are all animals, we have urges etc. whereas mine is that sex should be something which is shared between two people who love each other. I believe we have these opinions because of our sexual experiences.
Now, I have always thought that me and my boyfriend have quite a healthy sex life. We aren't at it like rabbits but we do have it nearly everytime we see each other. I am not 100% confident in my skin so there are some positions I don't like because I feel I am too exposed. Anyway talking to my flatmate really made me think, wow. I haven't done a LOT of things that she has. Ok, she sees sex as something casual and to be honest, it is all she talks about, but I mean I feel so prudish now! She was talking about using sex toys, anal sex, threesomes...I haven't done any of those! and now I feel almost...silly! because me and my boyfriend have been together longer than any of her relationships yet haven't participated in anything THAT risque.
I guess I just feel a little bit like we have gotton complacent in our sex life and don't have as much fun as we could be having. I am interested in experimenting with anal and sex toys, though my boyfriend isn't too keen on the latter..I would also like to try having an orgasm through penetrative sex rather than just having sex, he comes and then finishes me off. It's not very liberating and it has become almost a routine. I would also love it if my boyfriend would want sex more than once a day, but he never seems to have the urge. I know we have been together a long time but I feel almost unwanted that he doesn't seem more eager to try new things
Sorry this is so long, I guess it has just been preying on my mind for some time. Thanks.
0
Comments
In terms of having an orgasm purely hrough penetrative sex, I never have. A lot of women don't. It comes down to your physiology. However, I find it much more satisfactory for both of us if my OH makes me orgasm BEFORE penetrating me. That way we can maintain that intense excitement much longer and usually then fall asleep in each other's arms. At our age, we don't expect an 'encore'!