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m'aider si vous plait
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
complex situation, but basically, I've got a male friend who was previously assumed straight, and he's secretly expressed his feelings to me. I was ok with this at first, I told him I didn't feel the same, but he's starting to stick to me like glue. To the extent, he came round our house today, and followed me around - so when I was in my bedroom he came in, pulled the door to and lay down on the bed just watching me on PC etc.
This is not only making me uncomfortable, but he's also getting in the way of other friendships. He is asking increasingly personal questions about my sex life and sexual preferences and I try to brush him off politely by changing the subject, but he seems a bit like a bull in a china shop. E.g. he has decided he wants to go out with me and can't be put off!
I feel a bit isolated because obviously it would be unfair to 'out' him to our mutual friends as a way of talking about it / having them as an intermediary to tell him on the down low he's being very f*cking creepy right now. I have told him politely several times I'm not interested in him, but he comes with responses like "how can you be sure?". I don't need to try before I buy... thanks.
It got so bad today that I had to lock my door when I went to my room for a nap to save myself the fear of him coming in to try to spoon me or watch me sleep (maybe I'm overreacting, grouchy because he slept @ ours last night and insisted in sleeping on the floor in my room, and I was too tired to argue - despite there being a spare bed in the house!). The worst thing is, I've kind of brought this upon myself. I got drunk and gave everyone a hug and a kiss at NYE and he has interpreted this as a 'connection' between us, like before he never thought about going out with guys but now... he sees me as special or something. :crazyeyes
I would brush it off like I say, but he actually makes me nervous how he keeps bringing it up -all the time- and seems infatuated with me, and can't leave me alone for 5 minutes. Need something to hit him over the head with so I can elope
(he's gone home now thank goodness!!!!).
Oh also he saw me browsing on here (spent the majority of today lying on my bed watching me on the internet) so if he is the stalkery type perhaps he will read this - in which case, I'm flattered but no thankyou.
This is not only making me uncomfortable, but he's also getting in the way of other friendships. He is asking increasingly personal questions about my sex life and sexual preferences and I try to brush him off politely by changing the subject, but he seems a bit like a bull in a china shop. E.g. he has decided he wants to go out with me and can't be put off!
I feel a bit isolated because obviously it would be unfair to 'out' him to our mutual friends as a way of talking about it / having them as an intermediary to tell him on the down low he's being very f*cking creepy right now. I have told him politely several times I'm not interested in him, but he comes with responses like "how can you be sure?". I don't need to try before I buy... thanks.
It got so bad today that I had to lock my door when I went to my room for a nap to save myself the fear of him coming in to try to spoon me or watch me sleep (maybe I'm overreacting, grouchy because he slept @ ours last night and insisted in sleeping on the floor in my room, and I was too tired to argue - despite there being a spare bed in the house!). The worst thing is, I've kind of brought this upon myself. I got drunk and gave everyone a hug and a kiss at NYE and he has interpreted this as a 'connection' between us, like before he never thought about going out with guys but now... he sees me as special or something. :crazyeyes
I would brush it off like I say, but he actually makes me nervous how he keeps bringing it up -all the time- and seems infatuated with me, and can't leave me alone for 5 minutes. Need something to hit him over the head with so I can elope
(he's gone home now thank goodness!!!!).Oh also he saw me browsing on here (spent the majority of today lying on my bed watching me on the internet
) so if he is the stalkery type perhaps he will read this - in which case, I'm flattered but no thankyou. 0
Comments
if he isnt getting the message from you being polite then just state your feelings. that his behaviour is making you uncomfortable and he needs to back off if he wants you as a mate.
Maybe you are being a little *too* polite. I don't mean you should be awful. Just honest. And firm! Sounds like polite isn't working!
Tell him to leave you the fuck alone
I agree with SCC, tell him to back the fuck off, otherwise you are going to have to tell people why you are having to be weird with him.
:banghead: :banghead: *cry*
so obsessed.
Though I don't generally kiss and tell, nothing actually did happen except for awesome stirfry. But maybe I should leave it there because he will then think something did happen and me and him are over. (not that there was anything there, but in his mind)
And breathe.
Exam in 2 days, half the day spent resolving non-love-life. I thought being single was supposed to be easier.
Nothing constructive to add, just that this sentence made me laugh.
If 1 of my mates came onto me and I said no as I aint gay but they kept it up even after being told NO id be more blunt and if still not listening they'd get a slap,no means no and if you aint gay you aint gay.
Anywyas good luck.