Is it in my interest to speak to this person?

Former Member

I volunteer in the police regularly, they call them 'special constables' - carrying out regular police duties - and as such I'm expected to fulfill them like any officer would. I am assigned to this one person who is showing me the ropes, and who ultimately decides when I can be signed off for independant patrol.

Personal background Since graduating at uni six months back, I have fallen depressed (heartbreak, job rejections etc)...2009 was a pretty dier year unfortunately. Consequently, having all these problems and thoughts buzzing around my head is really killing my social ability, but more relevant to this post - my ability to fulfill my role as a special constable.

So I've been making a few silly mistakes in the presence of my 'mentor', and I'm generally finding it difficult to just relax and have a laugh with her, as a result of my lack of focus and general day-to-day depression.
However, it's getting to a point now where she is starting to point out my errors in the name of 'banter' if front of everbody else, "...yeah but your memories terrible!...", and she's starting to develop an impression that I'm useless at conversation and communication :impissed:

Just for clarity she's a parent in her mid-thirties and normally a very nice girl.

At first, we were fine, she would always talk to me we would have a laugh and she would see me as very capable. However that has essentially disappeared, as the real, error-prone me is coming through...But initially I developed a lot of respect and like for her, I just want her to see me as that capable member of her team once again!

And getting to the question I pose to you :yippe: - should I talk to her in private and voice my concerns to her, and explain that my personal life sort of gets in the way of my ability sometimes? Or will that just create a forced bond between us or make us more distant? Look forward to anyones thoughts, cheers in advance guys.

Former Member

Should you really be doing this job if you suffer from depression?

Former Member

I use the term loosely to describe my feelings and state of mind; I haven't been diagnosed with it. And it's purely volunteer that I do for a few hours a week.

The reason I took it up in the first place was for self improvement and in the end I went through the same selection process as anyone else

Former Member

RyB57 wrote: »

The reason I took it up in the first place was for self improvement and in the end I went through the same selection process as anyone else

Good on you, it will do you good. I dont see why being depressed should bar you from this.

Sorry, I dont have any real answers for you regarding your original question - i wasn't sure what your question was.

Former Member

Cheers Calvin

It's a tricky one to get across...I was wanting to know if I should speak to her about 'what she thinks of my skills in the role' w/o coming across too sort of dependable. It's a complex one, wish feelings were easier to explain sometimes

Former Member

My OH is a retired Police Inspector. Although I don't know anything about the way Specials operate, I am quite sure that if you were working for him as a regular PC, he would want to know about anything that might be affecting your work. Policing is stressful work. You need the support of your mentor if you are going through a particularly tough time, and you owe it to the team to talk to someone if you know that your work is being affected. Police officers need to be able to rely on their colleagues in times of crisis, so you are likely to find them quite supportive.