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No Idea What To Do. Might Contain Triggers?
Annaarrr!!
Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
I Have No Idea How To Phrase This But I'll Give It My Best Shot.
I'm Not Sure If This Belongs In The Relationship Section
I've Been Feeling Pretty Crap For The Last Year And A Half And Almost Six Months Ago The Guy I Have Dreamed Of Came Into My Life. He Was Wonderful. He Really Did Lift Me Up.. For A While.. Then I Started S/H Again And My Suicidal Feelings Became Known To Him And It Seemed To Drag Him Down. He Knows About My Past And He Himself Had Been Through An Extremely Tough Time. He Started Cutting Again And I Think I'm The Trigger To It. What I Felt And What I Did Caused Him To Feel Pain.
After Realising It Was My Fault I Tried To Pick Myself Up Which I've Managed I Only Cut Once Every Few Weeks Now And I Barely Break The Skin. But It Hasn't Worked He's Going Further Down And I Don't Know What To Say Anymore. I've Convinced im To Ring Up His Doctor And He's Getting An Appointment But This Is Killing Me.
I Feel Low Everytime I Talk ToHim Now And Whenever We Meet Up It Normally Ends Up With Him Getting Upset About His Cuts And Saying About How He's Going To Lose Me. Then He Starts Going On About How He Doesn't Deserve Me. It Just Makes Me Feel Like He Doesn't Want To Be With Me, Which Is Confusing Because He Keeps Saying How He'll Die If I Leave Him. And I Promised Him I Would Never Hurt Him :crying:
He's Self Harming As I Type This And I Don't Know What To Do Because I Want To As Well But I Know I Have To Be Strong For Him. Because It's My Fault He's Like This Now. I Feel Everything He Describes To Me.. But I Can't Share That With Anyone Because Someone Else Will Find Out And So On. But If I Tell Him He'll Blame Himself As Usual.
I Don't Know What To Do And I Expect Critism From Everyone But I Really Need To Save Him From This. It's My Fault And I'm Aware Of This And I Sound Pathetic But I Want Him To Be Happy. I Need Him To Be Happy.
Anything Is Helpful Sorry for The Length
Thanks
A x
I'm Not Sure If This Belongs In The Relationship Section
I've Been Feeling Pretty Crap For The Last Year And A Half And Almost Six Months Ago The Guy I Have Dreamed Of Came Into My Life. He Was Wonderful. He Really Did Lift Me Up.. For A While.. Then I Started S/H Again And My Suicidal Feelings Became Known To Him And It Seemed To Drag Him Down. He Knows About My Past And He Himself Had Been Through An Extremely Tough Time. He Started Cutting Again And I Think I'm The Trigger To It. What I Felt And What I Did Caused Him To Feel Pain.
After Realising It Was My Fault I Tried To Pick Myself Up Which I've Managed I Only Cut Once Every Few Weeks Now And I Barely Break The Skin. But It Hasn't Worked He's Going Further Down And I Don't Know What To Say Anymore. I've Convinced im To Ring Up His Doctor And He's Getting An Appointment But This Is Killing Me.
I Feel Low Everytime I Talk ToHim Now And Whenever We Meet Up It Normally Ends Up With Him Getting Upset About His Cuts And Saying About How He's Going To Lose Me. Then He Starts Going On About How He Doesn't Deserve Me. It Just Makes Me Feel Like He Doesn't Want To Be With Me, Which Is Confusing Because He Keeps Saying How He'll Die If I Leave Him. And I Promised Him I Would Never Hurt Him :crying:
He's Self Harming As I Type This And I Don't Know What To Do Because I Want To As Well But I Know I Have To Be Strong For Him. Because It's My Fault He's Like This Now. I Feel Everything He Describes To Me.. But I Can't Share That With Anyone Because Someone Else Will Find Out And So On. But If I Tell Him He'll Blame Himself As Usual.
I Don't Know What To Do And I Expect Critism From Everyone But I Really Need To Save Him From This. It's My Fault And I'm Aware Of This And I Sound Pathetic But I Want Him To Be Happy. I Need Him To Be Happy.
Anything Is Helpful Sorry for The Length
Thanks
A x
0
Comments
You are doing very well with your S/H and keep it up
Here if you want to chat
hugs huni -that must be really difficult to cope with but im so proud of you (dont mean to sound patronising) that you yourself are limiting your cutting....it is a good idea that he goes to his doctor.....have you spoken to him about ur concerns for him?
xx
He Isn't Going To The Doctor I Spoke To Him About It And He Asked Why He Had To. I Said It Would Help Him Then He Said "Why Do You Care." Ouch.
I Can't Tell Him What I Think Cos It Upsets Him And Makes Him Worse.
Sorry to hear that you are your b/f are having a tough time of it at the moment, why dont you check out some of the information on here related to Self harm, like memyselfandI suggested it is probably a good idea to try and talk to him and ask him to make an appointment with his G.P. He may feel a bit a apprehensive about doing this but try to reassure him it is for the best.
Im glad that you are posting on here and that you are finding it a help!.
Let us know how you are both getting on.
Take Care.
B:)
I Don't Know How Much The Doctor Can Help Because He Isn't Allowed To Say About Me Because I Don't Want Family Or Anyone Finding Out About Me. I Know It's INCREDIBLY Selfish But I Don't Know What I'll Do If My Family Find Out
I Talked With My Head Of Year Today And She Kept Mentioning Depression When I Mentioned Some Of The Things I'd Been Feeling And I'm Worrying. ):
Thank You Everyone For Your Advice
x
You said that he was cutting as you were typing. You and him must be very close, or he really trusts you, despite that nasty comment. I know i wouldnt let anyone see me cut, even if everyone did know. But, like you, no-one knows about my cutting. Some advice for you : its good that you are cutting down but if it gets too much again, talk to someone, not just your (seemingly easily-triggered) boyfriend.
You mentioned a head of year, so does that mean you are still at school? I know a lot of schools including mine have a councillor, which might be helpful to you. It sounds like your head of year was trying to push some details out of you, which seems a bit unfair to me. But when you are good and ready dont be afraid to go talk to her or pastoral care or someone.
good luck with the next few days xx
.....all of the advice i just gave i cant even follow myself :P ......
About us being close.. I'm not too sure anymore we've been quite distnt recently I thinks it's because he doesn't want to see anyone I'm not sure though
Yes I'm still at school but my head of year is the only teacher I'll talk to. I don't like the other teachers and she knows about things and gives good advice..
I really want to tell someone and get advice but i can't have my parents knowing.. I think I might be getting worse keep having bad thoughts but I should really be concentrating on my BF i guess. He needs help and I got him into it so I have to get him out I suppose..
Thank You For All The Advice
x
It's great that you have come to Thesite for support, you have been given some spot on responses on your thread. It's also really good that you have got some help at school. There's a lot going on for you, but you are taking the right steps to help work through them.
You said, "I Really Need To Save Him From This. It's My Fault"
You are not responsible for your boyfriend self-harming, or anything else that he might say, feel or do. You cannot save someone who isn't ready to be saved. You can only be responsible for your own actions. As 'imnotarobot' said, your boyfriend probably had some unresolved problems that came to the surface. Only he can resolve them, with the right professional and emotional support, which you have helped him to access.
It sound's like you may need to spend some time putting yourself first and getting the help that you need with your urges and thoughts? You have done so well to manage your harming, but sometimes we all need a little help to get through the difficult bits. Is there anyone else that you can talk to, apart from your Head Of Year? Can you see a Doctor or maybe talk though things on a confidential helpline?
Take care of yourself and keep posting
My BF Has Got His Appointment Tomorrow So Hopefully We Can Get This Sorted Out For Him =S He's Told His Mum About Things And It Didn't Go To Good. So He's Now Going On About How It's Going To Go Down Hill And It Was Me Who Persuaded Him To Do This. :banghead: :crying:
It Seems Like I'm The Only Problem =/ Should I Just Let Him Do Things How He Wants From Now?
How are things for you at the moment? How did your boyfriend's appointment go?
At the end of the day, it is your boyfriend's life - you are not responsible for what he does and who he speaks to. Maybe you can talk things through together and you can offer him advice, but ultimately he must make his own decisions. It may be that talking to his Mum will be a positive thing in the long run?
If you contact Childline (0800 1111), that won't show up on your phone bill.
Take care
He's been given some forms to fill in for counselling so he's going to take them in soon i think.
I'm not really making things easy for him at the moment so we haven't been talking much
I've been trying to pluck up the courage to call them for ages so hopefully I'll be able to
Thanks for all the advice
x
hope u can talk to him soon
x