been in a relationship 2 years and have 2 kids

Former Member

The name is Chazza, im a 20 year old i have a lovely partner who i think cares about me alot we have our dramas like most people, im just one of the lucky ones that dont get beaten up all the time. we love each other alot and we have a 19 month old daughter and have another daughter on the way im 27 weeks this week
ive noticed that since having our first daughter in early 2008 im either too sore down there or too tired i have been to the doctors and they have told me i have a over senstive vjj they say that there is nothing i can do it should go away in time i try so much to please my partner that i end up nearly crying as im in so much pain, we try differnt styles but it still hurts he gets so down that i dont last as long as he wants me too but i try my hardest i need some serious help so any advice would be good please

Former Member

Chazza I would go back to the doctors, if you tell them it's been affecting you for a while and hasn't cleared up, and that it's affecting your sex life they should take you a bit more seriously. I get fed up with doctors who just say to their patients "rest and you'll get better" because even if that's the case it can sometimes be a long time with lots of pain .

I know there are other girls on the boards who have suffered similar problems though and my ex did too, but she never went to the doctors about it. I hope it clears up soon. I have heard that psychological issues can contribute (which was probably the case with my ex), so maybe you feel under pressure to satisfy your partner which subconciously makes you tighten up down there causing pain. Maybe both talking about it and approaching sex in a 'lets just have fun and see what happens' way, rather than the end-game being penetrative sex.

Would you say you feel worried about sex in case it goes wrong, before you have sex?

Also, I wouldn't say "I'm just one of the lucky ones that dont get beaten up all the time." because really the default position must always be that in a relationship there is no abuse, it shouldn't be about being lucky or not. It's not a perk of a good relationship, it's a requirement of any relationship.

Former Member

Dear Chazza
there are either physical or psychological reasons for your painful intercourse problems. It may be that you are fearful for some reason and your vj clamps up in response, causing pain & difficulty; or it may be that if you had stitches they were not done correctly - or perhaps there was some damage caused during the birth that was not identified at the time. Please do go to see a different doctor or go to your sexual health clinic (this may be in your local hospital). It is very distressing for both you and your partner so you really must make sure you get some help There is no such thing as an 'over-sensitive' vj!! I wish you all the best
xxx