update / rant

Former Member

Hello Ok i really hope this thread doesn't turn out like the last one but i don't have anywhere else i can talk about this so...tough

Basically a few of you many know i have/have a few minor problems with food. Well basically i though i would start a new thread after the old one died to give a update type thing.

So here it goes!

Well as far as loosing weight...i'm not sure. My trousers do kind of fall down now, and i have went down a dress size but i dont feel like i have lost any or enough. To me i still look fat.

Lately my eating pattern has gone to hell. I will eat basically nothing through out the week then on friday i eat loads! or what seems loads. At the weekends i tend to have some lunch and tea. But by Monday i am feeling so guilty i hardly eat again.

Its not that i am worried as such, but more annoyed about how caught up i get in it all, i constantly compare myself to others. Magazines don't bother me at all as i know its airbrushed, its more people i know and see in the streets.

I've been told on many occations that i don't have a problem and on many i do. But as annoying as it is the ones that tell me i don't stick in my head more, and when i thing about it, its not really a problem. If i really think about it, its not. I am in some control over it.

As for weighing myself i've managed to stay away from the scales...and i dont write down what i eat that much but i do have to check the calories on bloody everything and have most things memorised. :S

And...if someone calls me fat as a joke omg! does it stick in my head! and the other day a friend was like omg! your eating i never see you eat! well done! infront of everyone! when i was trying to just get on with it without drawing attention. I just kind of stared. :no:

So...yeah, i don't even think i'm looking for advice, i just needed to get that off my chest, but some vurtual hugs wouldn't go a miss. ...

Former Member

*virtual Hugs*

Former Member

i dont have anything useful to say either but [[[BIG HUGS]]]

Former Member

*hugs*

**helen**

Definitely big hugs. Have you come across the body gossip project naun?

I find Ruth, the woman who set it up really inspiring, not sure if it will interest you, but to me it's a really feel good project which you can read about here.

We also used to have a really lovely user on TheSite who really impressed me (and others) with something she posted once about how her thoughts on her body have changed over time - I think she was just 21 when she posted it...

It was in a thread another user posted worrying about her body:

I feel a wee bit zen about my appearance these days. I guess I'm somewhere smack bang inbetween being happy with the way I look, and not really caring. It's a good, calm feeling after years of trying to change things and making myself unhappy and feeling like I wasn't good enough. I think I've become more and more attractive both facially and in terms of my body as the years have gone by. I don't think I'm a supermodel, just speaking relatively. The way I feel about the outside is definitely all on the inside, I was thinner and blonder and more toned-up five years ago but in my head I was a hideous thing so what did it mean? Sweet fuck all.

It was said to me beforehand and I always thought 'aye, reet' but having babies has changed the way I feel. Two living beings came out of my body - I'm sure it counts as a false idol but I worship it It's amazing. It was a child's body and then an awkward teenager's body that was in turns flaunted and hidden away and now it's the body of a woman and a mother and it amazes me. I'm never going to have that coveted and ubiqituous "perfect body" that could double for a magazine spread now; but it can run and skip, bear and nourish children, clean windows and get particularly tricky tops off jars of beetroot, dance the tango and swim twenty laps in a pool. What is not to be completely enamoured of?

FF I think what you feel is completely natural, we're programmed to see our flaws when they're immensely outweighed by the fabulous and beautiful things about ourselves. Accentuate the positive, as someone said... sometime. Always worth remembering... even if it is a moot point, you're gorgeous anyway

I know this touched a lot of people when she posted it - try to remember first and foremost your body is an instrument - something I forget myself often enough, but I think it's an amazing thing when you think hard about it.

Former Member

**Helen** wrote: »

Definitely big hugs. Have you come across the body gossip project naun?

I find Ruth, the woman who set it up really inspiring, not sure if it will interest you, but to me it's a really feel good project which you can read about here.

We also used to have a really lovely user on TheSite who really impressed me (and others) with something she posted once about how her thoughts on her body have changed over time - I think she was just 21 when she posted it...

It was in a thread another user posted worrying about her body:



I know this touched a lot of people when she posted it - try to remember first and foremost your body is an instrument - something I forget myself often enough, but I think it's an amazing thing when you think hard about it.

i love this so much and i was just looking for it the other day! do you have the link to the original thread maybe helen? x

Former Member

Thank you guys

And Helen i loved what that person wrote. I seriously hope i can somehow get over this!

lol precious i know you dont want to agree but thank you.

I don't even know where this food thing even came from, i have always compared myself to others and i always think about it but i don't know when it started really. It never used to bother me as much if someone made a joke about being fat but now i take it in totally the wrong way, i get really paraniod incase they actually mean it - and i wouldn't blame them if i did. But Dad always comments to me if he see's me eating that i will get fat and puts me down, mainly because he is such a twat! :grump:

Yeah so basically i am still in the same situation as i was with my last thread except i wiegh less.

Former Member

Two things:

1. However much weight you lose, you will NEVER think you are thin enough.

2. Keep talking, you're doing ok

Former Member

What kaff said.

*hugs wifey *

Also the next person who calls you fat should be pointed in my direction plz.

Former Member

Olive wrote: »

Two things:

1. However much weight you lose, you will NEVER think you are thin enough.

2. Keep talking, you're doing ok

I'm starting to realise that

Your second point made me smile


I'll send them your way Franki :thumb: hehe

Former Member

Just to add my lil note- I think you are a well lovely person, and seeing your comments on fb always makes me smile and brightens up my day I know you are worried about your weight and i will be here to chat whenever you need, but i think it is the person inside that counts more - and that, you have spot on

**helen**

FireyFirenze wrote: »

i love this so much and i was just looking for it the other day! do you have the link to the original thread maybe helen? x

It's from one of your threads Firey so if you go to your profile and click on threads started by you, you'll find it quite quickly. I don't mean to be awkward by not just posting the link myself, I just didn't want to assume that you'd be happy for that thread to be dragged up and I was also concerned about a few of the posts at the start of it, that were quite off key to be honest. There was lots of good stuff in it alongside the post I quoted, but also some things that made me go :eek2: if that makes sense.

Hope you've had a good day Naun

Former Member

heya,
hugs huni. im avin problems with food again as well but im struggling more with binging and laxative abuse. my mood is down as well and bad thoughts are creeping in and im not sure i can cope with them anymore ya know.
i constantly look at calories n stuff whereas other times i just can't cope to eat anything. my mum is cookin cottage pie tonight and i feel bad cause i just can't eat it......i feel so fat and feel that i need to lose weight in order to be accepted at the ed clinic assessment at the end of january.....ive put on over 10 kilos since i was admitted last time and i hate it but feel incapable of stopping myself binging.

hope that you are having a good day.
xxx

Former Member

skakitty wrote: »

Just to add my lil note- I think you are a well lovely person, and seeing your comments on fb always makes me smile and brightens up my day I know you are worried about your weight and i will be here to chat whenever you need, but i think it is the person inside that counts more - and that, you have spot on

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

She's right, you know.

Me and that kaff girl don't just spout hearts out to everyone. Only very special people.

Luff naun .

Former Member

Franki wrote: »

She's right, you know.

Me and that kaff girl don't just spout hearts out to everyone. Only very special people.

Luff naun .

Sorry to bring this thread back from the near dead.
But errghh! like omg errghh!

Now i'm not attention whoring because i realise this will look like i am.

I was on webcam, as you do. Chatting away and all. When i realsised what i looked like on it! I seriously look fat and horrid and yucky, and the camera never lies!

You know when realisation hits you really hard. Like you knew it was true already but then something else hits you and it hurts...a lot. Well thats just happened.

:crying:

Former Member

Woman....

....you are not fat. I know you won't believe me, but you are not.

I know exactly how you feel, though. I look at myself in the mirror some days and wonder how the hell I get any clothes on. But other days I will look at myself and go "know what? it's not that bad".

One day you will accept that you don't look as bad as you think you do, and until that day we will be here to support you.

More luff .

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

You know when realisation hits you really hard. Like you knew it was true already but then something else hits you and it hurts...a lot. Well thats just happened.

:crying:

yup. it happens most days when i catch a view of myself in a mirror or something and its usually after i've treated myself to something to eat. its then that the guilt sets in and i freak out. fun stuff

i've seen pictures of you on here though hun. i can tell you, you aren't fat at all and you are really pretty. you may not see it yourself but its true. be happy with what you've got. honestly. keep strong

Former Member

blah blah blah wrote: »

yup. it happens most days when i catch a view of myself in a mirror or something and its usually after i've treated myself to something to eat. its then that the guilt sets in and i freak out. fun stuff

Yuup! Like i eat something, and then i remember that i shouldn't because i all ready look rubbish. So then the guilt is there and it makes me feel 10 times worse than just not eating in the first place. :shocking:

Former Member

The camera adds ten pounds. I kid you not.
So believe not the webcam

And I'm sorry for arguing in your last thread

x

Former Member

i totally agree, i look a mess on my webcam most of the time, it completely changes the shape of my face, not only does the camera lie, it can create faults that dont even exist


*hugs*

Former Member

Guys, just kill me now!

This is getting stupid!
I'm in such a crap mood right now, i'm tired and hungry and i have no energy. I am constantly thinking about food and how i look. I want to eat but i feel so so guilty after it. I can't win! And as much as it sounds like i am being an attention whore i don't care. I'm pissed off majorly and i want to cry. :mad:

Former Member

Baby yourself.
Have a warm bath and all that, then a low calorie hot chocolate or something.
Then think about all the rest of the shit in the morning, there's no point if you're tired.
And remember, we're all here for you.
Smile x

Former Member

Aww Naun I hope your okay. And I shant kill you, and nor will anybody else! Honestly, don't worry about your weight. I spent years worrying about mine, and now I've just gone I DON'T CARE. In fact, as I type I am eating jam on toast. I haven't read the whole thread, but unless theres a medical reason for your diet I think you should just concentrate on becoming more comfortable with who you are. You are amazing and wonderful and fantastic. Just keep telling yourself that because it is TRUE.
Xx