mates trouble!

Former Member

not really sure where to start off with this but here goes!

for a while now my friends had a crush on a girl from college, he's not the most confident person in situations like this, neither am i tbh, so he didn't do anything! anyway a few weeks ago me and the girl were talking and she said she didn't like him like that and that was that, i didn't tell him because i was going through something similar at the time and i thought it would be better if he talked to her about it but he didn't!

last night it came to light that another of my mates, probs my best mate apart from mate 1, kissed the girl a few days ago and now they both wanna try and make something out of it, theres a definte conection there and i'm happy for him and he did the right thing in talking to m1 about it and m1 said he was fine with it, but later he just walked out on us and it was kinda obvious he's pissed off.

but i know this is gonna screw the friend ship right up and i'm gonna be made to pick sides. i don't want to but i'm going to get pressured in to doing that. so heres my dilema, what do i do??? m1 has been a complete dick to me with out knowing my past and current problems (deppression and SH) and yet m2 has done similar stuff but he's had the balls to come and aplogise to me when i told him, m1 on the other hand hasn't so in all honesty i'm more on the side of m2, m1 told him he was fine about it but he's obviously not! i just don't know what to do!

Former Member

Obviously your friend is disappointed, but that's his problem, not any one else's - and he (so far) seems to accept that, it may be that you're reading more into it than there is.

Your other friend is getting on with the girl, and it seems to be working out, so that's good.

The idea that because one of you fancies a girl (unreciprocated) the others should ignore any she has in them is one I find, quite frankly, disgusting. It suggests you treat girls as something you can control, and 'gift' to each other. By all means, if there's a relationship, you don't go getting involved, but that's not the case - and going for a one night stand with the girl of a friends dreams is bad form.

Former Member

i understand where ur coming from about the bit that it sounds like we treat girls as objects, its not like that for me! its just the fact that the 2 mates i've known for roughly 11 years, so yeah! i know that i'm gonna be forced to choose a side even though i've already said i'm not gonna get involved to them both! it just fucking sucks right now!

Former Member

He refused to do anything about his crush, so it wouldn't have gotten anywhere even if she had liked him, and yet he's pissed that his friend had the balls to go and do what he didn't?

Tell him to grow up and if he makes you pick sides tell him you're going with the guy that's not being a dick.