A story about a girl...

Former Member

Hey,

Yeah this is another story about a girl...

There's this girl I've known for almost a year, and at first we were just acquaintances as such. Anyway in the past couple of months we've been hanging out more and more and I've started to really like her.

I asked her out for a quiet drink a while ago, which she said yes to but never happened, due to work and stuff. Since, people have told me we have great chemistry and even her friends said I should ask her out, so recently I properly asked her out (over text, as I'm not going to see her in person for a while) and she hasn't replied. I asked her about it online much later on, and she said brb and an hour later she still wasn't speaking to me (so I logged out and did other things).

So I'm pretty certain she's not interested in me that way, and just wants to stay friends, which I'm really gutted about. Although I wish she'd tell me rather than avoiding the question

But to make matters worse, people keep telling me "there's plenty more fish in the sea", but that seems to be rubbish to me. All the girls I've ever liked always want to stay friends and never see me as a potential boyfriend, so there's obviously something I'm doing wrong, and I'm not sure what it is. I tend to become a friend first and then ask them out later, because I always thought that its good to be a friend first and a potential bf second, but this just doesn't seem to work.

Am I destined to become the "nice guy" that never gets the girls while friends of mine who only care about playing the field never have girl issues. It just doesn't seem fair to me. I feel like life is slipping away, as I'm getting older (I'm almost 21) and I still seem to have no luck.

What do I do?

Former Member

The funny thing is that my OH and I were having this conversation (quietly) tonight in the pub. We came to the conclusion that we were both destined to become "friends" with the other sex (including his ex-wife - they hadn't slept with anyone else when they married at 22), until we met each other.

I don't know your circumstances, but I would be inclined not to worry unduly if you can't get them into bed. The right "friend" will happen along one day when the chemistry is right.

Former Member

Just wanted to comment that I may have sounded a bit desperate in the last paragraph or two, and thats not the case. I'm not actively looking for a girl as such, but when I think that the right girl has come along, I do tend to find it hard to "play it cool" as my friends tell me to do. I always worry if I play it cool, someone else will ask her out, or i'll be put in the "friend zone" but at the same time I try not too come across too needy, "desperate" or pushy, but i'm not sure I have the balance right...

What is the right balance? I find it really hard to judge