Suicidal Thoughts n S/H

Former Member

Hey,
Have been having problems with thoughts of suicide.....i kinda trust myself that i won't do it but the urge to is horrible and leaves me sat at home in tears on my own........i just want a break from them, my m/h worker said that i will be ok but im so scared....i don't wana die n i never have dun but its gettin too strong.....i want a life....but not one full of these thoughts. I don't want to let people down....ive had an offer off a m/h worker that works with my mum whom i can talk to if i need to....but i don't want her knowing about it.....its not that ive got a bad life or anything and i probably sound really selfish. My mum has said to me not to overdose and im scared of what she will do if i do overdose....im scared i will lose everyone that is close to me over these feelings - as i bet they can't trust me anymore.
any suggestions of ways to distract myself would be gr8....

Former Member

Hey flower :wave:

Really sorry things have deteriorated for you and that you are worried about isolating yourself from people who support you. Other users might have some distraction ideas - if there are any friends you can hook up with or people who you feel safe being around that might really help?

Also don't forget that you can make contact with Samaritans anytime if you feel that you need to talk but are worried about burdening people around you.

Keep posting to let us know how you're getting on, take care

Former Member

Hi cat treats,
Thankyou for the reply, ive never used samaritans - kinda feel a tad stigmatised as it is but i will try to use it when i need to. just need to build up the courage. im going out tomorrow night but cause my depression is bad - i don't wana go but im gona force myself to. it is my friend's birthday n all.
thanks again

Former Member

Hi flower

Sounds like you are being very brave already. I think more people use the samaritans than we realise, and one thing you can guarantee from them is a non-judgemental approach - so no more stigmas to worry about there hopefully.

Good luck getting yourself out tomorrow night - really hope once you are there you get some support, distractions and the chance to have some fun. It sounds like you really deserve some right now!

Take care

Former Member

heya,
thanx for the reply. i went out last night n was really good - really enjoyed myself....have not really been in the mood for my birthday today - got sum fuckin shit news that i really didn't want but i have got the choice of stayin here so will try to spend more time away from home - like working or stayin with my bf. Am so fuckin pissed off with fuckin everyone just wish they wud leave me alone - im hating life so much!!!!!! Not impressed with my mum at all and i just fuckin hate it!!!!! my mum just expects me to be ok with her and her husband who have caused shit in the form of the police n all - so pissin annoyed - she promised me that she wudn't let him move bk in. he got her arrested and she got a caution but obviously that DOESN'T matter.........i wish that they wud stop fuckin up my life....but i don't count because ive got a mental health problem and what should i know!!!!! cause whatever i do is always criticised - i really can't stand him - i don't wana get involved in this life and i hate him so much!! one minute she likes him and the next she hates him - just don't know how to cope with her anymore - makes me feel that i can't be arsed to look after my health anymore. he said to me the other day that he hoped i wasn't goin psycho - i hate him - how can he understand what i go through.
im sorry really had to get this off my chest and obviously it doesn't matter. They r drinkin again n she said that she wudn't - wished she'd fuck off n sort out her life so god's sake. cause obviously i fuck my life up and she is always right.

Former Member

I don't really know what to say but

*hugs* and we are here when ever you need to get something off your chest.

Former Member

(((((hugs))))))) for flower x

always here

Former Member

heya emma,
thanks sweetie, how are you?? xxx hope to chat on chat l8r lol!! altho may be out.
xxx