Nervous about speaking to an adult...

Former Member

Hey guys, ive been having a really tough year and recently ive been self-harming a lot more than before. Thereve been so many arguments at home, and i just can't seem to get my life back on track. Only one of my friends knows everything, but im starting to feel really bad about telling her everything, and we arent able to talk as much as before, which just makes me feel really alone.

im going to speak to my guidance teacher about it - i spoke to her with my friend last term when things got really bad, but that time she did a lot of the explaining for me, and this time ive got to do a lot of it myself, although she's promised to come with me.

But i'm really nervous about it, because im not sure it's a big enough deal to bother a teacher with, and i really dont want my parents to find out. Also, i really dont know what to say. Anybody got any advice on how to talk to a teacher like this??

xxx

Former Member

hey,

i told my guidance teacher as well tht i self harmed and tht i was abused and she was really nice about it. just try and relax (i know its easier said than done!) but trust me it helps. you dont even need to tell your guidance teacher if you dont reall get along with her, tell a teacher you get on better with, thts wht i did when i told about my abuse. remember they are just wantin to help you and do whts best for you.

I hope your ok x
try and send me a wee message bk so i know your ok x

gd luck x

Former Member

Hi It'sMEEE

As Emma has said, your teachers are there to listen to you and try to help. It seems that you have been able to open up to her in the past, which may make it a little easier this time. It's great that your friend is supporting you, but equally good that you feel able to talk more for yourself.

Whatever you want to talk about is obviously a big deal to you, therefore important. You may need to ask your teacher what the school policy is on confidentiality, so that you can be sure what she she will do with the information?

Sorry to hear that you're not able to talk to your friend as much as you used to. Do you feel that there is a particular reason why? Sometimes it can just be that as we grow as people, our relationships change.

We wish you all the best when talking to your teacher. Keep posting and let us know how you get on. Take care -

Former Member

thanks for the advice:) soz not been able to reply sooner. im going to speak to my guidance teacher tomorrow...she's been really nice about it so far and is really discrete.
I dont really know whats happenned with my friend, maybe she just feels i dont need as much help now, or that she doesnt know what else to do, or maybe im just making a big deal about nothing!!

xxx

Former Member

Hey It'sMEE

Good luck tomorrow talking to your guidance teacher,

Don't forget where we are if you need some support -

Former Member

Well, I only got to talk to her for about 10 minutes...so now I'll have to wait until after the holidays, when I have exams:( It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but if does make me feel rather like I'm either making a fuss about nothing, or that everything's all my fault and that I should just get on and sort it. I didn't tell her that I'm still self harming, although I kinda wanted to... So yeah, I now have to wait (again!) before I can really talk about it to someone (which is always really hard anyway), which just gives me time to start feeling stupid, patetic, a failure, that I shouldn't have got into this situation in the first place and that I should be able to sort it:crying:

sorry for the rant,

xxx

Former Member

Not all teachers keep confidentiality. Sometimes they casually tell other friend teachers in the staffroom. If you offload it from your chest they may share with other staff to offload the burden of hearing about your problems.

Most schools have trained counsellors for students now. They do makes notes sometimes and get may get debriefed by managers. If you want a professional listening ear get a referral to the schools appointed counsellor

Former Member

Hi,

If you feel you have to wait and want to talk then there are loads of helplines you can confide in? Often the situations that we find ourselves in are completely out of our control and we need help and support to get put of them.

10 minutes doesn't seem like a long time at all, it's a shame you didn't get more time than that. Will more time be allocated next time you see her? It's really good that it wasn't as bad as you thought it was going to be and that you felt you wanted to share with her about your Self-Harm. This is something to build on.

Take care

Former Member

I agree Kiwifruit...I know they say they won't tell anyone else (except for the fact that apparently they have to tell the headteacher) but I bet gossip travels!! I've thought about going to see a counsellor, but I'm not sure how to make an appointment with them, and I wouldn't want my parents to find out. Also, when I've been to see them before (with my mum) they've just made me feel really bad about myself and it's never helped.

xxx

Former Member

re

Hey itsMEE,

Your reluctance in speaking to someone about your feelings is totally understandable. It also sounds like your past experiences with a counsellor have also made you feel reluctant.
Counsellors have a code of confidentiality that they have to stick to when working with clients. They should explain this to you when they start to work with you. But by and large what is discussed between the two of you will stay between the two of you.
Perhaps ask the teacher how you go about accessing the service and after that whether you decide to go for counselling will be up to you.
here is some info on counselling.

Take care and keep posting:wave:

Former Member

heyy, sorry for the long silence, been spending time with family/doing revision so not much free time! well, i guess things are going quite well at the moment, had a few arguments which havent been great especially since i cant talk to anyone about them and negative thoughts, especially about s/h, though ive managed to not cut for just over a week - found other ways instead (holding ice really helps, and so easy to do with all the snow around!!) concentrating on school work a lot - exams straight after the holidays and i really want to do well in them, i guess to prove to myself that im not a complete failure!

hope everyone had a great christmas and enjoy 2010!!!:wave:

xxx

Former Member

hiya!
Just wanted to say hi and well done for coping with your negative thoughts... it sounds like you're doing really well
Take care and here's to a happy 2010
Hannah

Former Member

Anyone know if there'sa way to stop having bad dreams/nightmares? been getting them for a while now, especially about stressful situations, guess it's because I've been feeling really alone coz there's been no-one to talk to, but I'm not sure...

xxx

Former Member

at a low point and struggling:(

started self harming again:banghead: really big arguments at home and exams stressing me out, not sleeping, and it's so tiring trying to pretend im ok all the time and it just makes me feel so alone:( gonna go talk to the teacher agian tomorrow, just hope it helps - dont want to go back to the crap i got into last year:crying:

xxx

Former Member

Hey It's MEE,
How are you feeling today?
Did you manage to speak to your guidance teacher? Hope it helped you, if only to make you feel less alone. If you haven't already you should maybe ask them if you can arrange a proper time to sit down so you don't just get another 10 minutes in passing. :chin:
The dreams probably come from your anxieties, maybe talking to someone will help you to offload these and hopefully help you to sleep better.
Remember there are people who do understand what you're going through and you may be surprised at how much people want to help when you open up to them.
You're doing really well and taking all the right steps with speaking to someone - let us know how you get on.