just blergh!

Former Member

I haven't been on here for a while but needed some people to talk too....
right, ok, so my life atm is ok...i'm nearly qualified from uni and have friends (granted they all have boyfriends, but don't rub it in my face) i have my family who i love but there just seems to be something nagging at me inside.
i have days where i can be just so happy and then within an instant all i want to do is just lie on my bed and stare at nothing...
i have been getting really tempted to start SH'ing again but am really trying to fight it, its really hard but its almost as if, i know that blade is in my top draw and it would just be so easy to do it. i try to keep myself busy during the day at work but then i get bored towards the end and my mood dips then i get home and its again more work to do...this time of year is always hard for me as alot went on when i was younger of which i don't really think i got closure from but my family said i shouldn't seek legal help as it will drag everything up again and its not worth it and its "in the past" i know you don't know what i'm talking about but i just feel so angry and upset and lost and lonely and also like i will never be loved....sounds stupid

Sorry

Former Member

Hi jigglywotsit :wave:

I don't know what you've been through to make you feel this way but its certainly not stupid. You're doing really well coping at the moment, it can be really helpful to talk things through withe somebody, if you don't feel able to because of your family maybe you could try the samaritans its completely confidential.

Please keep posting and stay strong

Former Member

Hey
I know that feeling o too well of just wanting to lay in bed all day -i did it today!
The fact that you haven't reached for the blade and started s/h again proves that you wnat to beat your demons and you should keep on fighting. Try moving the blade to somewhere not so accesible and try to be around people as much as possible, it amkes it mroe difficult to s/h.
Just remember that you are special and deserve to be happy. Dont ever give up the fight
x

Former Member

its almost as if i feel guilty for being happy though? I don't know just so tired these days and really snappy, even my friends say the way i speak to them has changed almost as if i don't care