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depression and bulimia

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
i have had depression for 5 years now and been on loads of different medication, and i seem to be coping ok with better thoughts. However i have struggled with bulimia for nearly 7 years, i thought everything was ok when i came out of hospital, but its happening again and it seems worse this time :-\ my body is telling me stop but my mind is saying need to lose weight!
has anyone been through anything similar?? if so i would love to talk :)
xxx

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had bulimia / anorexia two years ago and recently...Well, over the last few months it has been coming back.
    I just really want to lose weight again.
    I have never been diagnosed as depressed but I have felt it before. When I was at my lowest weight (about 4 and a half stone) I had literally gave up on life and was ready to die.
    However I was forced to get better by family and friends. I never went into hospital although they were involved with making me 'get better' again.

    I'd love to talk to you if you want.

    :) x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have had depression for 5 years now and been on loads of different medication, and i seem to be coping ok with better thoughts. However i have struggled with bulimia for nearly 7 years, i thought everything was ok when i came out of hospital, but its happening again and it seems worse this time :-\ my body is telling me stop but my mind is saying need to lose weight!
    has anyone been through anything similar?? if so i would love to talk :)
    xxx

    heya flowerpetal,
    im jennie 19 and i have suffered from ana/mia for 8 months. i was taken into hospital when i did not eat anything and only had 300 calories in the form of drinks each day. I go through periods where i battle with myself whether i deserve to eat or drink - which can change on a daily basis. I think that i need to lose weight. but instead of vomiting/taking laxatives/diet pills like i did last time. i know s/h in order to cope and i know that it does not solve anything but feel as though in a rut.
    how are you doing?? sorry thats a v.short summary of 8 months.
    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for both of your replies! :)
    i am doing alrite i supose, its very reasuring that i am not on my own in this type of situation, i got so low through bulimia i took an overdose and self harmed really bad because i hated the fact food was in my body. its worrying me that i am starting to feel the same again. think i have ran out of coping stragies, but it is a huge relife that i found this site to talk to people in similar situations :)
    i just dont understand why food can rule my life?!?!
    hows things now with the both of you? :)
    Hannah :heart: xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bulimia is a mental issue (not meant to be deragatory) that is best treated by a psycho-therapist. You really should seek professional help for it. If you don't you are going to run into a lot of serious health problems from the acid eating away at your esophagus, throat, and mouth.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for both of your replies! :)
    i am doing alrite i supose, its very reasuring that i am not on my own in this type of situation, i got so low through bulimia i took an overdose and self harmed really bad because i hated the fact food was in my body. its worrying me that i am starting to feel the same again. think i have ran out of coping stragies, but it is a huge relife that i found this site to talk to people in similar situations :)
    i just dont understand why food can rule my life?!?!
    hows things now with the both of you? :)
    Hannah :heart: xx

    heya,
    yeh im ok thankyou. well im not but ya no it is easier to say that i am fine. i would strongly advise that you do get some help with bulimia - ive now been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, OCD, Anxiety, depression and bulimia. i took an overdose as well as i just couldn't cope anymore - i was in a rut and that was my way out - but it is not the answer as you will know :) i am not coping at all atm with anything ya know i feel nearly as bad as when i was admitted but im too scared to ask for the help atm. i purged tonight but i don't see it as wrong even though i know it is consciously :confused: . I have sat here thinking of what i am going to buy for my food for the week as we are going shopping tomorrow - im scared!!!! I just wanted to cry sat there trying to look for meal plans on the internet as i can't cope with food - it petrifies me - i can get to the stage where i can't touch food cause i think the calories are seepin through my hands - i know it sounds weird but i don't want to be in that place again - although i can see it creepin bk into my life.....and i don't want it there :no: i know the pain that it causes even though i cannot see it when i am not well......i still don't like my body or touching food.....but i hope soon that i can stop banging my head against a brick wall :banghead: and finally see that i do look okay and that i will get the career that i want :angel: .
    live without bulimia is the best option, life with it leads to physical and emotional suffering expecially to yourself but also to other's around you.
    xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks :)

    I'm alright. I didnt eat anything today except my tea...Which is all good. Makes me feel better. You said that you used to self harm too, I did as well after my family found out about my bulimia. I used to cut, burn myself and punch things..But...Recently stopped because my friends found out and were worried about me.
    I'm scared to weigh myself because I know I'll keep setting goals again :/ But at the same time I want to know how much I weigh. Meh, I dunno.

    I guess I'm alright though. Gonna try and not eat for a few days so I wont have to be sick :)


    How're you? xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dems wrote: »
    Thanks :)

    I'm alright. I didnt eat anything today except my tea...Which is all good. Makes me feel better. You said that you used to self harm too, I did as well after my family found out about my bulimia. I used to cut, burn myself and punch things..But...Recently stopped because my friends found out and were worried about me.
    I'm scared to weigh myself because I know I'll keep setting goals again :/ But at the same time I want to know how much I weigh. Meh, I dunno.

    I guess I'm alright though. Gonna try and not eat for a few days so I wont have to be sick :)


    How're you? xxxx

    please please go to your g.p or ask your parents for help.

    Im a mum of 2 lovely girls and i still suffer not eating i was anorexia and bulimia :( this has been going on since i was diagnosed with anorexia at 17 years old.
    It has taken away some off what couol dhave been a good life and im also killing myself very slowely. I wont be around to see my girls grow into lovely women if i carry on.
    Im still talking to somone once a week but because i have lived with this for so long.....its like an addiction and im fiding soooo so hard to get rid off it.

    Please get help let this be somethign you tackle now not something your going to still have once your 30......if you think about it, i bet its not something you want then and somethign you have to bring your own children up around :( x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heya,
    well, ive made a list of things that i want to buy from the supermarket - i am so scared of getting fat - i hate it!!!!! i don't dare weigh myself as i know that i will also set goals to make myself slimmer. Im a size 10/12 atm but i can't see that, it is ok. I was at the stage of losing 3kg a week - was crazy......but i dsidn't see that i was ill which is the worse thing. I relapsed again last night - ive been s/h for about 6 months - but cutting has become on the agenda again - i s/h every day atm in a punishment for me eating - im usually good for breakfast for the rest of the day - i just panic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not sure whether to go back to my gp or not????
    how are you???
    jennie
    xxxxxxxxxxx



    Dems wrote: »
    Thanks :)

    I'm alright. I didnt eat anything today except my tea...Which is all good. Makes me feel better. You said that you used to self harm too, I did as well after my family found out about my bulimia. I used to cut, burn myself and punch things..But...Recently stopped because my friends found out and were worried about me.
    I'm scared to weigh myself because I know I'll keep setting goals again :/ But at the same time I want to know how much I weigh. Meh, I dunno.

    I guess I'm alright though. Gonna try and not eat for a few days so I wont have to be sick :)


    How're you? xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hayley77 wrote: »
    please please go to your g.p or ask your parents for help.

    Im a mum of 2 lovely girls and i still suffer not eating i was anorexia and bulimia :( this has been going on since i was diagnosed with anorexia at 17 years old.
    It has taken away some off what couol dhave been a good life and im also killing myself very slowely. I wont be around to see my girls grow into lovely women if i carry on.
    Im still talking to somone once a week but because i have lived with this for so long.....its like an addiction and im fiding soooo so hard to get rid off it.

    Please get help let this be somethign you tackle now not something your going to still have once your 30......if you think about it, i bet its not something you want then and somethign you have to bring your own children up around :( x

    I cant go to my GP...Id be to embarassed and scared of my parents finding out :/ I know it would help me, but I couldnt face it tbh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heya,
    they ain't allowed to tell ur parents unless u r at risk of harming urself seriously or at risk of harming someone else. you tell ur parents when you are ready. xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hello

    I am new 2 this and have neva posted before, I had probs eating when a long term relationship ended last year, I started eatin again, but hve been feelin real sad and lonely recently and am not eating so well also taking some laxitives, and hve cut a bit, not much though, really just feel like I would like 2 not wake up. I think it would b good if u could go 2 GP or counsellor or find a helpline that speciallises in eating disorders, size 10 Or 12 sounds like a perfect weight, do u know wot triggered ur issues with food and self esteme, try 2 luvee u and not hurt yourself when you eat, your body deserves to be fed, it will make you feel healthier and ultimately happier try 2 eat one meal a day woithout harming, and reward yourself eachtime you do x x x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heya,
    i ain't got a clue what triggered it - i just really wish i wasn't me - i actually hate being me. I feel like an idiot making myself sick. but i feel the need to - im scared that they will weigh me tomorrow or on tuesday - i want to be thinner - i feel fat!!!!!!
    sorry that was a rant.
    how are you? xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey guys,

    I don't have experience with an ED but I just want to say I've been reading what you've been posting and am rooting for you. I have experience in my family of MH disorders and know they take a lot time for things to settle down. Take care all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    flower123 wrote: »
    heya,
    they ain't allowed to tell ur parents unless u r at risk of harming urself seriously or at risk of harming someone else. you tell ur parents when you are ready. xxx


    Ahh..Thanks. I did think a while ago about going my gp...But..I dont know :/
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dems wrote: »
    Ahh..Thanks. I did think a while ago about going my gp...But..I dont know :/

    heya sweetie,
    go to see your gp - you are worth so much more than this horrible thing. ive got an appointment with my gp tomorrow. am scared but im ready to get help again. how are you?
    xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    flower123 wrote: »
    heya sweetie,
    go to see your gp - you are worth so much more than this horrible thing. ive got an appointment with my gp tomorrow. am scared but im ready to get help again. how are you?
    xxx


    You know what? I'm really great. I havnt been eating much and have been sick and stuff but tbh, I'm feeling great. I realised today how stupid it was that I used to self harm too..And I dunno, I feel happy that I realised it.
    I might go and see my gp, or the school councsellor, my friend goes to see her so I might do that. Id hate my parents finding out though but...I think I might do it.

    I'm fed up with all this crap. I just wanna be happy :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heya huni,
    well done that you have realised that s/h is 'stupid'. i ain't got to that stage - i just know that i need professional help with it as it has become my purging for my bulimia as well as vomiting - just want an easier life tbh. ditto

    "I'm fed up with all this crap. I just wanna be happy "

    gud quote sweetie xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    flower123 wrote: »
    heya huni,
    well done that you have realised that s/h is 'stupid'. i ain't got to that stage - i just know that i need professional help with it as it has become my purging for my bulimia as well as vomiting - just want an easier life tbh. ditto

    "I'm fed up with all this crap. I just wanna be happy "

    gud quote sweetie xx

    Thank you :)

    I'm fed up with having to self harm tbh....I know I wont be able to eat normally straight away and Im gonna feel crap about it for a while but....I'm gonna try. I havnt cut in about three or four weeks anyway and tbh, I feel great.
    It sounded allot harder than it is...

    (: xxxx
    Hope your alright x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heya,
    well done for not cutting thats is brilliant - wish i could say the same about me but ya know i will get there in the end - just takes time eh......xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    flower123 wrote: »
    heya,
    well done for not cutting thats is brilliant - wish i could say the same about me but ya know i will get there in the end - just takes time eh......xx

    I hope so :)... Self harm really isnt worth it, and I know it sounds like Im idiot and dont really understand...But it's really not.

    I hope your okay xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you don't sound like an idiot at all huni. hope that you have a good day xx
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